Love: Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when...

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

agreeclassic 37 082

vote type 1 3 243

The rhythm of the fight
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By hannahlorraine - 25/11/2011 03:12 - United States

Today, while I was in the shower, my very drunken mother came home. She then barged into the shower with me, still completely clothed, and gave me the longest, most awkward hug of a lifetime. After she left me still in shock, she came back and did it again. FML

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By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 20:21 - United States

Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML

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Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

agreeclassic 36 181

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Do I know you?

By goblue - 21/12/2009 05:20 - United States

Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML

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By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

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By Anonymous - 23/04/2012 05:50 - United States - Harrison

Today, I met my girlfriend's mom. She went on about how my girlfriend's dad is a no good drunk, following this statement with spilling her fifth glass of wine. FML

agreeclassic 25 173

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By Anonymous - 15/05/2013 20:21 - United States

Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML

agreeclassic 69 718

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Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

agreeclassic 1 680

vote type 1 131

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

agreeclassic 86 260

vote type 1 5 392

By FunTimes - 19/08/2019 04:00 - Canada

Today, my mom got drunk and tried to push me off a ladder. FML

agreeclassic 1 707

vote type 1 128

LezBiHonest 7

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:39

Theres always room for one more...

hashnasnne 0

Saturday 10 December 2011 0:40

god bless your mother

Comments

FelixVC1 21

Saturday 10 December 2011 22:46

I know exactly how you feel... mothers eh?

thatkidceleste 2

Sunday 11 December 2011 6:58

your mom is awesome.

wwwowww 4

Sunday 11 December 2011 12:27

Iv read the comments right till the end, so you better read mine!

HITide76808 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 16:04

Ooh kinky, i wish my mother would do that :)

savafire 0

Monday 12 December 2011 0:13

At least didn't happen on the bed...

amanduh87 0

Monday 12 December 2011 20:51

Lmao. Partyyyy

cumminside03 0

Tuesday 13 December 2011 14:40

Hahaha that's f***king awesome

JazTheBOSS2014 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 10:35

This made my night!!! xD FUUUNNNNYYYYY!

GraceyGirl523 9

Monday 19 December 2011 11:51

Incesty

Coffeebang 17

Saturday 4 February 2012 18:04

HAHAHAHA

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Keywords

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Top

Today, my boyfriend's 13-year-old daughter called me a "stupid f**ing b****" on Snapchat because her dad wouldn't go on the trampoline with her. I had nothing to do with any of it. FML

agreeclassic 1 464

vote type 1 137

Today, I'm tired, on Benadryl, temporarily moved into my mom’s house because my roommate chose to get an ESP dog who sheds, even though I told them I'm anaphylactic crazy allergic. They won’t get rid of the dog and I can’t afford to break the lease. I'm also flunking all my classes. FML

agreeclassic 660

vote type 1 158

Today, I came home from work to find the front door wide open, the stove on, my 5 year old cutting up the curtain, and my 2 year old smearing chocolate sauce on the floor. My fiancé was nowhere to be found. Later on, I got a text from him saying that he'd gone to watch the footy. FML

agreeclassic 37 162

vote type 1 4 742

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

agreeclassic 42 396

vote type 1 3 192

Today, and every time I try my hand at content creating, I get 0 appreciation or recognition, beyond bigger content creators stealing my work and ideas as their own, and seeing them get the many 10s of thousands of views I could have gotten. FML

agreeclassic 846

vote type 1 282

Today, I met my new psychologist for the first time. Expecting it to be someone I wouldn’t know, the door opens and out walks a man I hooked up with once. What makes it worse was he pissed my bed that night. I never called him back or spoke to him again. FML

agreeclassic 2 432

vote type 1 259