Animals: Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the...

By stupidbug. - 09/04/2012 08:28 - Canada

Today, I thought it would be funny to pee on a small bug in the toilet. A much larger bug thought it would be funny to fly into my eye while I was doing this. FML

agreeclassic 11 980

vote type 1 37 034

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

Pissed

By Anonymous - 13/01/2014 07:34 - United States - Ewa Beach

Today, I was taking a piss when a fly landed inside the urinal. I thought it would be funny to try to aim and pee on it until it flew away and I stupidly continued aiming, peeing all over the floor and the wall. Another man came in time to see it. FML

agreeclassic 23 958

vote type 1 54 125

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 05:17 - United States

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

agreeclassic 56 988

vote type 1 8 700

By funyfunkid - 22/12/2009 19:18 - United States

Today, I saw a roach on my toilet. I thought it would be funny to pee on it. It jumped out, which scared me; I hit my head on the wall and started bleeding, then I peed all over myself and the wall. FML

agreeclassic 10 136

vote type 1 47 972

By TheMichaelNixon - 14/11/2009 21:37 - United States

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

agreeclassic 8 804

vote type 1 75 555

By Anonypiss - 22/07/2015 16:21 - Canada - Pembroke

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

agreeclassic 17 650

vote type 1 26 695

Fire hose

By pissedoffandon - 06/05/2009 14:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I was taking a piss at the urinal when a fly started buzzing around my head. It started getting in my face, so I tried to swat it away. After about 10 seconds of intense swatting, I looked down to find I had pissed all over my shoes and down the front of my trousers. FML

agreeclassic 15 945

vote type 1 61 846

By bugnose - 16/05/2011 06:26

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

agreeclassic 35 950

vote type 1 9 138

Fancy a pint?

By Anonymous - 04/09/2020 22:02 - United States - Tyler

Today, while I was relaxing outside drinking a beer after a long day, a moth decided to fly right into my ear canal. I instinctively threw my hand up to swat it out. With the same hand holding the beer. I soaked the side of my face and down my ear. At least I got the bug out. FML

agreeclassic 1 006

vote type 1 322

By ow - 04/09/2010 23:43 - United States

Today, while I was running in a cross country meet, a bug flew into my right eye. Then, a bug flew into my left eye. Not wanting to lose a neck-and-neck sprint, I tried to run blind. I hit a pole. FML

agreeclassic 32 610

vote type 1 8 943

By Anonymous - 04/09/2014 06:44 - United States - Saginaw

Today, I tried to blink out a small speck of dirt that was caught in my eye. Instead, I learned what it feels like to suffocate a small, angry spider with your eyelid. FML

agreeclassic 47 561

vote type 1 3 841

AugustBurnsToast 14

Monday 9 April 2012 16:14

What comes around goes around eh?

hotPinklipstick 24

Monday 9 April 2012 16:15

That's karma. Why don't you learn to piss on someone your own size.

Comments

Rawrfearme96 5

Wednesday 11 April 2012 17:06

"That's what you get for peeing on my friend!"

longtimesunshine 4

Wednesday 11 April 2012 19:54

How many bugs in this bathroom!

iWoggle 6

Wednesday 11 April 2012 22:23

Trolls: found in many different shapes and forms.

hayat5496 5

Thursday 12 April 2012 2:33

Momma bug was very angry then!

kmamo 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 5:09

Gross. Anyone else think its strange he's surrounded by so many bugs....

connor2426 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 8:15

Carma

RKD 23

Thursday 12 April 2012 15:21

I think I have read this one before, no less than twelve times or so,,,,,,

kendisaur 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 17:20

Bugs stick together!

RedCrow 0

Saturday 14 April 2012 4:30

Karma can be a bitch.

raspberryboo 10

Saturday 14 April 2012 16:56

i knew it. bugs these will always get payback they be out to get ya

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

agreeclassic 28 969

vote type 1 2 358

Today, being the clean freak that I am, I bought an expensive pair of 'mop socks'. As I walked upstairs to show everyone, I slipped on the corner of the bottom step and landed on my face, breaking my toe in the process. FML

agreeclassic 18 329

vote type 1 5 106

Today, my husband and I were watching Lord of the Rings. My husband told me he sees the eye of Sauron every time he goes down on me. FML

agreeclassic 29 345

vote type 1 4 082

Today, I got a Facebook message from a cute guy I used to work with. He admitted to liking me, and when I asked why we never hung out, he told me that my dad, his boss at the time, threatened every guy I have ever worked with. FML

agreeclassic 54 460

vote type 1 4 279

Today, my wife and I were watching Killing Kennedy. Jokingly, I said, "Spoiler alert: he dies." She threw a book at me and won't talk to me. I think she's serious. FML

agreeclassic 50 441

vote type 1 7 603

Today, whilst vacuuming, I stupidly decided to vacuum the bathroom drain to see what would happen. Turns out it will cause stinking septic water to get sucked into the machine and spew all over the walls, ceiling and vanity. It also causes the vacuum cleaner to stop working. FML

agreeclassic 10 753

vote type 1 38 002

Similar FMLs

Pissed

Fire hose

Fancy a pint?

TOP COMMENTS

Comments