Love: Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much...

By Anonymous - 13/12/2011 20:26 - United States

Today, I had to convince my girlfriend that, no matter how much she makes herself burp, she won't lose any weight. She still doesn't understand why. FML

agreeclassic 32 414

vote type 1 3 963

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Delusional

By Anonymous - 02/08/2012 00:56 - United Kingdom - March

Today, my girlfriend tried to convince me that she never takes dumps. I told her that as long as she eats, it's a biological impossibility, but she seems to have genuinely deluded herself into thinking it's true, purely because she is a girl. FML

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Is it that rare?

By Anonymous - 14/06/2022 00:00

Today, my girlfriend is mad at me. Apparently in her country, not burping after a meal is very rude, and means you think their cooking skill is bad. I get throat gurgles, not burps. I tried to explain, but she thinks I made up a fake condition. It’s not fake, just so rare it’s unheard of. FML

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Pound for pound

By Anonymous - 27/04/2021 14:01

Today, my girlfriend had a huge fight with me because while I'm trying to gain weight and she’s trying to lose some, I’ve still lost more weight than her. Not my fault my body’s natural preference is to drop pounds like they’re hot. FML

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By brittrod - 05/12/2011 01:13 - United States

Today, when my mother-in-law told me I was losing weight, my husband started laughing. FML

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By Anonymous - 10/12/2012 18:09 - United States - Victorville

Today, my girlfriend felt bad about a rude comment she made to me, and asked me to insult her in return. I told her she was getting fat. Wrong move; now she's not speaking to me. FML

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By Anonymous - 28/02/2016 15:57 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML

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By Username - 06/10/2010 21:59 - France

Today, I was telling my boyfriend about how self conscious I am and how I obsess about my weight. He said, "Don't be ridiculous, you don't need to lose THAT much weight." FML

agreeclassic 19 052

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By AbFlab - 01/06/2010 04:35 - United States

Today, I've been dieting and working out trying to work towards some solid abs because I know my girlfriend digs that stuff. I've been miserable trying to achieve this goal, plus to make things even better while kissing today she grabbed my stomach and said "I just love your abs of... flab." FML

agreeclassic 34 821

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Thanks Karen

By Anonymous - 26/08/2014 15:30 - United States - Gloucester

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

agreeclassic 46 702

vote type 1 4 372

Whatthefuckaburger

By r u kidding me? - 09/06/2020 20:00

Today, after my girlfriend continuously whined for hours about a specific burger place, I finally gave in and we drove nearly two hours to get there. Once in line, she looked at the menu, then decided everything had too many calories and wanted to go home. She doesn’t get why I’m pissed. FML

agreeclassic 2 900

vote type 1 340

bargarlm 2

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:50

So she thinks she's full of air? That makes sense, sounds like she's an airhead....

tellithowitis 13

Tuesday 13 December 2011 23:49

Just nod your head and say yes

Comments

xii_clueless 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 5:35

Better then her getting all the air out in the other end

howdoesthatfeel 0

Thursday 15 December 2011 7:29

Ya, I agree with you on that one

dansco 24

Thursday 15 December 2011 7:30

Oh she's a keeper!

AshleyHartwell 3

Thursday 15 December 2011 8:46

Can I please have some of what she's smoking?

JohhnyKeroscene 2

Thursday 15 December 2011 19:42

sounds like a real keeper there buddy.

ohSNAPyall 26

Friday 16 December 2011 3:40

Charming.

erikath0mas998 4

Friday 16 December 2011 5:41

Tell her to spit all day if she wants to lose weight.

StromyG2 10

Friday 16 December 2011 19:47

Dumb AND fat. You got a real winner!

n_epic_fail 14

Saturday 17 December 2011 1:03

Wow

Liferocks08 0

Tuesday 20 December 2011 4:10

You guys are ****** up

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Top

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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me for "cheating" on him with his best friend. What did I do? I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek when I finally met him in person, after years of hearing about how great he is and how much we would get along. FML

agreeclassic 510

vote type 1 191

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