Miscellaneous: Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and...

By bellaskyeb - 08/01/2012 17:42 - United States

Today, I had to bail my drunk husband out of jail after he and his best friend tried to steal a police horse from an officer. FML

agreeclassic 32 300

vote type 1 4 258

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By Anonymous - 23/05/2012 21:14 - United States

Today, my husband called me in the middle of the morning. He was in jail and wanted me to bail him out. Not only was he stupid enough to go drunk drag-racing with his buddies, their route took them straight past the front of the local police precinct. FML

agreeclassic 27 518

vote type 1 3 388

Jailbird

By blondebarbie271 - 26/07/2015 23:55 - United States - Center Barnstead

Today, I had to bail my ex-husband out of jail. He didn't want his new wife to get mad at him. FML

agreeclassic 22 366

vote type 1 14 522

By BUSTED. - 01/12/2015 19:02 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I punched a drunk woman who kept trying to force herself onto my husband. She turned out to be an off-duty cop. FML

agreeclassic 29 603

vote type 1 3 719

**** fox hunts

By Anonymous - 25/09/2021 17:01

Today, my husband was arrested because a fox, fleeing from about a billion dogs and rich twats on horses, jumped through our car window, and cowered between my legs. He got out of the car, waded through the dogs, and pulled one of the twats off his horse into a puddle, ruining his red coat. FML

agreeclassic 1 789

vote type 1 263

Public freakout

By Rem - 26/10/2025 15:00

Today, I had to bail my husband out from jail for almost killing someone. What happened? He and my sister-in-law were in an grocery store when she spotted his old high school nemesis, who back then was the biggest bully in school. She thought that it would be "exciting" to see what would happen if their paths crossed again. FML

agreeclassic 391

vote type 1 74

By ~__~ - 20/03/2015 21:23

Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML

agreeclassic 30 677

vote type 1 2 465

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

agreeclassic 50 172

vote type 1 4 668

Night on the tiles

By Anonymous - 07/04/2022 18:00

Today, my wife got drunk and stopped for a pee against the wheel of a parked police car, with three coppers and a dog inside it. FML

agreeclassic 1 033

vote type 1 231

By mackenzie_cain - 14/01/2010 05:33 - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to jail for a DUI. In a panic, I rushed to go bail him out. On the way to the jail I was stopped for running a red light. I soon joined my boyfriend in jail with my very own DUI charge. FML

agreeclassic 8 445

vote type 1 65 700

By Ava_Darkflame - 01/01/2017 15:54 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I had to call the police to get my crazy stalker of a neighbor out of my house. When the police arrived, I found out that she was friends with the officer. FML

agreeclassic 2 550

vote type 1 172

IntoTheClouds 42

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

That's a funny story, actually.

MrHankie1999 0

Monday 9 January 2012 2:19

They are confused because it didn't have a siren.

Comments

CourtneyLA_fml 0

Monday 9 January 2012 6:56

Meanwhile in Canada.... Sorry, too tempting, and I'm Canadian haha

Msadd 0

Monday 9 January 2012 7:02

mom....is that you??

halexis39 0

Monday 9 January 2012 7:05

At least he wasn't drinking and driving

BRBsummer 9

Monday 9 January 2012 7:06

Hahaha.

copyborg 0

Monday 9 January 2012 7:25

Your husband is my hero!

lyle125 0

Monday 9 January 2012 7:57

Yeah but wasnt the horse for that show you do?

Petertheman 0

Monday 9 January 2012 8:11

That us awesome

tyler8775 4

Monday 9 January 2012 8:30

That's freaking hilarious

awesomegerf 7

Monday 9 January 2012 8:49

Haha

I_Punch_Babies 7

Monday 9 January 2012 9:05

how close were they to the glue factory before they got caught?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

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Today, my mom caught me talking to my penis. FML

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Today, my daughter was acting strange. When she wasn’t muttering in some strange language, she was talking about invisible people coming to get me. Terrified, I called my boyfriend. Turns out he taught her that as a prank. He knows I’m afraid of anything supernatural. FML

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Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

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vote type 1 1 844

Today, I had to babysit a 9 year-old girl. I hadn't slept for almost 40 hours and fell half-asleep while sitting on her couch for two minutes. She asked me something, but I thought it was a dream and answered with, "Your mom's a hoe." When I woke up, I realized I'd said it out loud instead of in my head. FML

agreeclassic 396

vote type 1 1 385