Transportation: Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It...

By Anonymous - 02/07/2011 04:46 - United States

Today, I found a very large pumpkin super-glued to my car. It will not come off. FML

agreeclassic 37 872

vote type 1 3 581

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By Mustang - 05/08/2010 01:13 - United States

Today, some jerk super glued leaves and a note onto my car's front windshield. Not only is it directly in front of the driver's seat and makes it nearly impossible to drive, but it won't come off. What makes it worse? I was spending the night at a friend's house and the note was meant for her. FML

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By raven_of_azarath - 29/07/2019 02:00

Today, I found a spider in my car the size of my hand. Help. FML

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By Anonymous - 30/10/2010 23:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked outside to find someone had egged my house and smashed a pumpkin onto my car. I later discovered that the perpetrator was my own 8 year old son. FML

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By duck me! - 02/03/2023 04:00

Today, some asshole superglued ten rubber ducks to my car while I was at work. FML

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By Baegel - 02/03/2016 01:52 - United States - Havertown

Today, my psycho ex defaced my car. She didn't key it or slash my tires. She posted "TRUMP 2016" bumper stickers all over it. I don't know what glue they use, but it's been 2 hours and I haven't gotten any of them off. FML

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Territorial Pissings

By El Camino - this FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I parked in a different lot because the one I usually park in was full. When I came back later, a bumper sticker was stuck to the windshield that said, "INCONSIDERATE F***, DON'T PARK HERE AGAIN!" To make matters worse, it was stuck on with a special type of glue, so it can't be removed. FML

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By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

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By ColdMN - 03/02/2011 17:02 - United States

Today, I trying to scrape the ice off my car, but wasn't having much luck. Frustrated, I kicked a clump off from the bumper. The clump didn't budge, but the entire front quarter panel fell off. FML

agreeclassic 24 370

vote type 1 11 167

By wils - 24/07/2010 09:49 - United States

Today, after work, I peeled a parking ticket off my windshield. It was so hot that the ink from the ticket made a stamp on my windshield. Now I have a permanent reminder staring me in the face wherever I drive. FML

agreeclassic 28 665

vote type 1 7 905

Troll level 3000

By really?! - 22/03/2020 06:30

Today, I found my car with its front end smashed in. The offender was nowhere to be seen, but had left a helpful note that stated, "Sorry about your car but you can go fuck yourself because you will never find me. Muwahahaha!" FML

agreeclassic 1 934

vote type 1 147

DKjazz 20

Saturday 2 July 2011 12:12

3+ points for originality. Not your average prankster here, no sir.

AffrontedFetus 0

Saturday 2 July 2011 12:02

Stick on a few more and you could pass off as a pretty good pimp.

Comments

EmyB_fml 8

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:06

bahahahahaa wtf who does that :p

sweetalicious 1

Sunday 3 July 2011 1:17

only four more months till Halloween :)

mynameissss 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 3:33

well duh.. it's superglued. (:

LikeaPRESIDENT 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 5:11

102 you mean women in kitchen jokes

kingofchips 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 6:10

pumpkin pimp ftw

swasticop 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 6:31

pumpkin pie bitches!!!

ImAbsolutelyDone 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:43

Only in Pennsylvania...

ArapCheerleader 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 7:44

you got pumpked!

King_of_your_mom 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 8:27

MIGHTY PUTTY!!!!!!! Billy mays still lives

stilettex33 5

Sunday 3 July 2011 17:54

LMFAO WIN

IbanezSprinter 0

Sunday 3 July 2011 8:30

hahahhahahaha thats weird...also doesn't make sense considering it is July...

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my apparently insane and now ex-girlfriend actually claimed she didn't technically cheat on me, because she set her Facebook relationship to "single" before screwing my brother. FML

agreeclassic 36 212

vote type 1 2 527

Today, my keys disappeared out of my car door during the 50 foot walk to the trash can. When I finally went to security after trying to find them, they said someone drove off with my car right as I walked in the door. FML

agreeclassic 2 330

vote type 1 918

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

agreeclassic 1 966

vote type 1 145

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML

agreeclassic 47 636

vote type 1 14 103

Today, I had to tell my wife that the new "vegan" diet she has put us on is not working with my body. It's not the horrible gas, hot shits, or constant hunger that made me realize this. It was the dream I had about fried chicken that did. FML

agreeclassic 28 613

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Today, I told my mom about the couple of times that I'd skipped classes during high school. She got really mad and grounded me for a month. That would usually be normal except for the fact that I'm 27 and live in my own apartment. FML

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