Health: Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my...

By jmac - 11/03/2012 03:06 - United States

Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML

agreeclassic 26 423

vote type 1 4 305

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By zztopspinner - 14/03/2012 19:11 - United States

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

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By ouch. - 10/12/2018 09:30 - United States - Stamford

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

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By Anonymous - 20/07/2016 06:40 - United States - Seattle

Today, I dropped my knitting project while I was sitting down, but I managed to catch it between my legs. So my knitting needles also caught me. FML

agreeclassic 11 683

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By HarvestMoon_gal - 24/07/2010 05:09 - United States

Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML

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By Anonymous - 06/09/2017 07:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, while showing off the sharpness of my new katana, I missed my target and hit my shoe. The strike cut into the second toe of my right foot, which then had to be amputated. Demonstration successful. FML

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Slice of life

By Eleanor - 19/02/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tripped and fell on my open dishwasher, right onto a carving knife. I'm mostly ok, except that my nipple has been sliced neatly in half. Seriously, the two halves keep flapping open like a little mouth. It would be funnier if it wasn't so painful. FML

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Put it away

By Anonymous - 27/10/2019 22:00

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

agreeclassic 1 019

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Fork off

By Godzilla’s wife - 28/12/2024 18:00 - United States - Orange

Today, I was washing dishes after eating Christmas leftovers. I pulled a knife out of the drying rack and put it away to avoid cutting myself on it, yet I still managed to scrape my thumb on an errant fork in the sink. FML

agreeclassic 346

vote type 1 120

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping tidy up after my girlfriend's flat warming. I went to put a sharp kitchen knife in the sink while she was washing dishes, and stabbed her in the finger instead. FML

agreeclassic 1 145

vote type 1 1 001

Spice

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 04:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML

agreeclassic 446

vote type 1 992

punk6743 0

Sunday 11 March 2012 9:54

I used to cook, then i took a chefs knife to the knee.

PYLrulz 17

Sunday 11 March 2012 9:53

Ok, how many of those godforsaken "Arrow to Knee" jokes, or modified versions of it, will there be?!?

Comments

BVBARMY1238 9

Saturday 5 January 2013 16:26

14, MIDNIGHT!!!

sportgirl 14

Sunday 28 July 2013 18:03

OP, you need a woman ASAP.

xxsaint1995xx 1

Monday 12 May 2014 5:25

"I used to cook like you and then I took a knife to the knee"

DarksideDoll 31

Monday 23 June 2014 11:13

I used to be an adventurer like you...

RobinLink37 9

Saturday 10 January 2015 21:32

How has this FML not been drawn with Skyrim references?

Kaei 21

Saturday 28 March 2015 13:34

I used to cook like you, but then I took a knife to the knee.

summersegebarth 16

Wednesday 8 April 2015 4:48

Well that's not fuKNEE

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agreeclassic 3 020

vote type 1 950

Today, my roommate hooked up with a guy she met at a party. After telling me about it, she says to me, "Maybe next time we go out we'll hit someone over the head and drag him back here for you." Apparently the only way I can get a guy is if he's unconscious. FML

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vote type 1 5 256

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