Miscellaneous: Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations,...

By idontbleedfromthere - 22/08/2012 23:10 - United States - Indio

Today, after having recently moved into shared accommodations, my prankster of a room-mate has somehow made sure I've yet again woken up with a tampon in my mouth. It's been three times in the past week. FML

agreeclassic 22 992

vote type 1 2 186

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By burritobreasts - 15/10/2014 06:27

Today, I woke up to my roommate trying to put a burrito and a pack of mild sauce in between my boobs. He's only lived here for two weeks, and this is the second time I've woken up to him doing something like this. FML

agreeclassic 44 165

vote type 1 5 322

By Anonymous - 20/02/2010 02:21 - Australia

Today, I was in a public restroom when someone took the toilet next to mine. Moments later, a used tampon rolls into my cubicle followed by an "Oops!" A creeping hand then promptly reached under to retrieve it. Both her hand and the tampon touched my bare toes. FML

agreeclassic 34 676

vote type 1 4 252

By arrrrggggghhhh - 04/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML

agreeclassic 78 140

vote type 1 5 191

By anon - 22/05/2015 02:22 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I found out that my flatmate wears my underwear. FML

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By BroadcitySF - 28/02/2016 03:42 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was mugged while changing my tampon. The mugger took everything, including the fresh tampon. FML

agreeclassic 24 589

vote type 1 1 638

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

agreeclassic 27 986

vote type 1 8 671

By shittysituation - 05/01/2015 06:27 - United States - Milpitas

Today, I came back from break to find that my roommate had been shitting in the bathtub for the entire 2 weeks I had been gone. FML

agreeclassic 42 550

vote type 1 3 136

By luckycharmed - 17/06/2014 17:34 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me. He taped a length of clear cellophane at ankle-height just outside my bedroom door, causing me to trip and faceplant the floor, and busting out a tooth. I now look like a hick, and my roommate is refusing to cover my dental bills. FML

agreeclassic 49 778

vote type 1 4 395

By germophobe - 02/09/2014 01:53 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML

agreeclassic 39 739

vote type 1 3 348

By Sir Vom-a-lot - 14/06/2012 16:28 - United Kingdom - West Drayton

Today, my girlfriend and I got to the stage in our relationship where she thinks its okay to change her tampon whilst I brush my teeth. FML

agreeclassic 33 683

vote type 1 6 643

JustKittyKat 24

Thursday 23 August 2012 9:22

Your name is hilarious.

IOmnomHard 10

Thursday 23 August 2012 9:24

Imagine if you choked on it in your sleep and died...The police report would be something to see.

Comments

Pikachu17 13

Thursday 23 August 2012 19:22

Are they used?

WickedWolf 11

Thursday 23 August 2012 22:44

Up the ante. Black horse ****** for them in all orifices.

Jirekianu2 19

Thursday 23 August 2012 22:54

I would start locking my room. Or, talk to them about it. If they refused to stop I would threaten going to the police. I hate pranking bs.

tinkerbell9418 5

Friday 24 August 2012 0:20

If it's used, your more than abused :O

illegallyblonde 3

Friday 24 August 2012 0:28

I guess you don't have to smoke weed to get cotton mouth..

monthescots 7

Friday 24 August 2012 1:17

Cut the string off a tampon and leave it hanging out her mouth, she may thing she swallowed it in her sleep. Or stick a sanitry towel to her face :)

Jizzysdad 1

Friday 24 August 2012 7:00

I sure hope they weren't used.

midcoder007 0

Friday 24 August 2012 7:36

astro boy!

skittlesmeep 4

Friday 24 August 2012 8:06

If you don't share rooms, get a lock!

bryan788 29

Friday 24 August 2012 8:08

awesome I must use this on my house guess great prank

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I found out why the parents whose children I babysit use me so often and on such short notice. It's not because they have abrupt nights out; it's because their kids hate me, and me being around is their way of punishing them. FML

agreeclassic 38 357

vote type 1 3 797

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

agreeclassic 31 598

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Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worried he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I'd left the cash in the machine. FML

agreeclassic 21 605

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Today, for the first time in my life, a girl showed interest in me. She sent me a text message saying she wanted to come over and fuck my brains out. This would've made me the happiest guy alive, if only she weren't my extremely drunk sister. FML

agreeclassic 39 399

vote type 1 3 287

Today, I was sick and laid up in bed, and my boyfriend decided to bring me some soup. Just as he reached the bed, he tripped over his own feet and spilled the soup all over me. FML

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Today, while interviewing a potential candidate for a job, I farted during a moment of silence. Trying to cover it up, I blurted out, "Wow, this chair is squeaky!" The candidate just stared at me, and I'm pretty sure their chances of getting the job squeaked away, because I couldn't bear seeing them every day after that. FML

agreeclassic 129

vote type 1 709

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Morning pick-me-up

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