Intimacy: Time consumed

Time consumed

By unendowed - 18/03/2012 02:11 - United States - Katy

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent the next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML

agreeclassic 30 442

vote type 1 11 709

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By tLee - 19/07/2011 04:04 - Canada

Today, I was laying in bed making out with a girl. After trying to figure out for a while why she was spending so much time on my neck it finally hit me. She was frantically and secretly trying to remove the gum she got stuck in my hair. She failed. FML

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By Prinpette - 20/09/2011 21:20 - France

Today, to show that he really wanted me to shave myself, my boyfriend pretended to go down on me, but instead of following through, he stuck a wad of gum in my pubic hair and got back up. FML

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By Anonymous - 18/02/2013 19:11 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

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By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

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By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML

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By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

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By omfgnooo - 09/09/2011 23:22 - United States

Today, I was masturbating while chewing gum. Halfway into the session, the gum flew down my throat, causing me to violently choke. My mom had to rush in and help me while I still had my pants around my ankles. FML

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By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, instead of pushing me away or simply stopping for a minute, my girlfriend kept kissing me as she was trying to get phlegm out of her throat. The slimy goo ended up in the back of my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

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Tasty

By I wish it was gum - 23/10/2018 12:00

Today, I was in the cinema making out with my girlfriend. I asked her if she could stop trying to pass me her gum because it was kinda gross. She replied, "It's not gum, I just have bronchitis." FML

agreeclassic 5 072

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By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

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pdp_fml 21

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:20

Why not try shaving down there? Girls like it because they don't have to smell your nasty sweat.

H_Brazell09 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 9:22

Maybe this is a sign to start shaving.

Comments

yourdevilmaybeme 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 14:54

Shave that shit dumbass

riptor911 10

Sunday 18 March 2012 14:55

Or u could like shave it off, surprising she went down on u without it shaved

Timithius 0

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:00

I can't seem to feel sorry for you for so many reasons. In the future, might I suggest.... A shave?

phantumgrey 6

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:00

And that's why we shave off our pubes

Epjay 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:40

Dirty Mouth? Clean it up with Orbit!! But I think you should chew the gum after dirty activity not during

skiittles2012 4

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:43

Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. She just wanted you to feel the minty coolness on your penis, next time tell her to use a mint >.

SouthrnGal 3

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:43

She plotted, that was totally done on purpose, maybe she was saying you need to shower more often

AgentSmith79 9

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:49

Wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a Neanderthal. Clean shaven is the way to go, Sasquatch.

yoyodog27 5

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:57

Dirty pubes? Clean them, with orbit

zebralover23 14

Sunday 18 March 2012 15:58

Sounds painful

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