Intimacy: Think before you speak

Think before you speak

By Takuma - 20/05/2009 05:10 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML

agreeclassic 21 589

vote type 1 95 237

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By Anonymous - 10/10/2009 04:25 - United States

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

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By anonymous - 21/11/2009 08:00 - United States

Today, I was sitting with a friend who moved back into town, and he told me about how he hooked up with a girl at a bar last night. I asked him if she was hot, he responded "Yeah, I have a picture of her on my phone." It was a picture of my girlfriend. FML

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By LAME - 23/02/2009 08:09 - United States

Today, I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, who I still have a major crush on. After cuddling as we watched a movie, she began to show me several pictures she had taken on her phone, and asked which ones I liked the best. She then sent the pictures I had chosen, to a guy she had met a week ago. FML

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By accidentalslut - 07/08/2009 17:09 - United States

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

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By Anonymous - 16/09/2009 04:24 - United States

Today, I was having an after work-out dinner with my ex-girlfriend and we were having a great time, catching up, eating good food, all the good things. Then when I got home, I realized I just talked to my ex-girlfriend for an hour and a half about how much better her new boyfriend is than me. FML

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By idekwtfigo - 01/05/2022 06:00

Today, I found out that the girl my boyfriend says is "just a good old friend" is actually an "ex that got away." FML

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By bg4545 - 24/03/2016 03:39 - United States - Whittier

Today, for some reason that is unknown to me, I accidentally referred to my girlfriend as "my ex-girlfriend." To her face. Needless to say, my statement became true afterwards. FML

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By dlova - 27/01/2009 06:33 - United States

Today, I was at a party and spent the whole night bragging to my friends about how I thought this girl was totally into me. As we were leaving, we saw the same girl making out with my ex. FML

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brontide 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:05

It's your ex who should be posting here, not you.

Aelaena 6

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:06

Woo I detect some jealousy here.

Comments

dragongirlnat 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:04

Yeah you deserve that, buddy.

nonotme 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 19:19

Awesome response.

gorbeast 0

Monday 22 February 2010 7:36

omg WIN

My2864 1

Sunday 25 April 2010 19:56

thats genius xD

hsshae 0

Friday 4 June 2010 6:25

epic

ashtin85 0

Sunday 15 May 2011 20:49

how is this an fml?? I think it's awesome :D

sfroro 0

Friday 9 December 2011 2:43

That, my friend, is called a Freudian slip.

cwells0430 12

Thursday 2 May 2013 5:02

It should've ended "and he punched me in the face. FML. Lmao

dyld921 2

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:04

So you slipped. What's the big deal? It's not that bad to be considered a FML.

brontide 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:05

It's your ex who should be posting here, not you.

ilovefatcats 12

Wednesday 28 April 2010 0:22

hahahaha.... I've heard worse FML

Fireashes250 16

Friday 26 July 2013 0:59

"Today, I was hanging out with a couple of my friends. Including an old ex-boyfriend, and the other being my boyfriend of 5 years. We were talking about phones, and then I said 'I had the iPhone first'. Then my ex-boyfriend said, 'Well, I had YOU first. FML"

Aelaena 6

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:06

Woo I detect some jealousy here.

MoodyBlue320 11

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:38

**** you life, OP. I don't blame him. It was an accident and maybe he's not over her. =/

harlehatschi 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:08

as if you're any more put out than the 5-year boyfriend who had to be reminded that you took her virginity, you silly douche

hsdffk 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:11

youre not over her ... GET OVER HER PUSSY lol

AeryFairy 10

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:14

That's not a FML, that's actually kind of awesome xD

VampireKiller59 0

Sunday 11 April 2010 17:30

thats a WIN!

trini_gal171 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 23:41

I agree

GloomySkyz 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 12:14

I worship this man for comparing taking a girls virginity over a 100 dollar phone. After all, Sex is waaaaay more important then distance communication ;)