Miscellaneous, Awkward and Parents: The great escape

The great escape

By danny - 12/09/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I had to pretend my phone was broken because my mom kept calling to ask if she could join my friends and me for karaoke night. FML

agreeclassic 385

vote type 1 103

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Similar FMLs

By Eternal Servitude - 02/05/2015 16:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

agreeclassic 32 441

vote type 1 2 378

Ignore! Ignore!

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 22:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I was at a job interview when my phone started ringing. It was my mom, so I quickly hit "Ignore", which was probably for the best since she was obviously drunk. She left a voicemail in which she sang "Happy Birthday" to me. It's not my birthday. FML

agreeclassic 783

vote type 1 135

By anonymous - 22/02/2011 07:07

Today, I had to fake fall down the stairs so my mom would stop texting and actually pay attention to what I was saying. FML

agreeclassic 30 554

vote type 1 14 171

By Anonymous - 28/10/2011 04:17 - United States

Today, I talked to my mom about hanging out with her. She got out her phone to schedule an appointment. FML

agreeclassic 26 536

vote type 1 2 993

Lost

By Sam - 17/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my mom was on the phone while we went grocery shopping. Apparently, her phone call was more important because she just left me stranded in the store. FML

agreeclassic 388

vote type 1 92

By shadowfigure - 23/01/2011 05:47 - United States

Today, I was doing karaoke with my girlfriend's family, when the 5 year old came over and shut off my microphone. FML

agreeclassic 24 533

vote type 1 8 340

Another non-emergency

By Anonymous - 29/10/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I went on a date, and halfway through I started getting nonstop calls from “Mom” on my phone. Annoyed, I silenced them. Later, I checked my voicemail. It was actually my mom calling from the ER because she had slipped and broken her ankle. FML

agreeclassic 130

vote type 1 651

Young love

By Anonymous - 26/02/2022 02:00

Today, I had a horrible head injury that prevented me from going to my girlfriend's birthday party, and when my mom answered my phone, she thought my mom was a girl I was cheating with. Even after posting on Facebook, Twitter, and Snapchat, in places she hasn't blocked me on, she just commented that I was faking. FML

agreeclassic 949

vote type 1 120

Classic

By Diane - 12/09/2025 20:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML

agreeclassic 50

vote type 1 472

Not very neighborly

By Kris - 31/01/2025 00:00 - India

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

agreeclassic 82

vote type 1 493

slashreallyrox 5

Tuesday 17 September 2024 14:33

wowee zowee!!

Comments

slashreallyrox 5

Tuesday 17 September 2024 14:33

wowee zowee!!

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Keywords

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Today, I went to the doctor for what I thought was a persistent bug bite. Turns out it was a mole I'd never noticed. I had been scratching it then applying anti-itch cream for weeks. FML

agreeclassic 333

vote type 1 135

Today, my girlfriend asked for a picture of my penis, so I sent her one. Then later on, she asked for one when I was hard, the first one I sent I was hard. FML

agreeclassic 37 661

vote type 1 17 805

Today, I was at the dentist getting a cavity fixed for the first time. The dentist showed me the drill and other tools, and referred to them as things like "Mr. Bumpy Brush". I'm 15. She thought I was "special". FML

agreeclassic 47 685

vote type 1 4 307

Today, my parents accidentally bounced some checks through a miscommunication. They now owe the bank $700 and can't afford groceries, which means we're relying on me, a 17-year-old girl who works at McDonald's 2 days a week, to get us by for the next few weeks. FML

agreeclassic 6 208

vote type 1 536

Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML

agreeclassic 38 228

vote type 1 14 801

Today, after I found out my husband cheated on me and then yesterday had to stop him from trying to kill himself, he's now moved out and has decided that this is all my fault. FML

agreeclassic 1 486

vote type 1 145