Love and Food: Survival mode - FML

Survival mode

By Anonymous - 28/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend scolded me for asking whether he’d like his favorite soup for lunch when he was, "in absolutely no shape to survive ingesting food." Two hours later he's greedily digging into an almost expired pack of cheap and nasty supermarket waffles from out of his bag. FML

agreeclassic 632

vote type 1 123

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Similar FMLs

Slacker

By Anonymous - 04/09/2023 10:00 - Germany

Today, my boyfriend has a freezer full of his favorite dish, which I cooked for him, yet he is subsisting on chocolate and those pathetic ready-made sandwiches from the supermarket. Why? Thawing and heating up a meal is too much trouble when I’m not there to do it for him. FML

agreeclassic 677

vote type 1 206

Nature calls

By anon - 27/07/2023 22:00

Today, my idiot boyfriend, who thinks he's an outdoorsman, made sauce from mushrooms he'd foraged. I refused to eat it. He got upset and had two helpings. He's now in bed, whining about how bad he feels. Stupid dumbass. FML

agreeclassic 904

vote type 1 187

Chuck E. Cheese awaits

By mama’s boy - 31/10/2019 00:01

Today, I realized just how spoiled and immature my boyfriend is when I asked him several times what he’d like for dinner. Getting no answer, I made steak, potatoes and salad. He then sulked and refused to eat it, since he wanted spaghetti and meatballs instead. FML

agreeclassic 2 337

vote type 1 410

Sounds like a keeper

By ManChildBF - 03/03/2022 18:00 - United States - Loveland

Today, my boyfriend came home and demanded dinner. I started suggesting things, but he threw out that we should just fend for ourselves. I made pasta and offered him some, but he decided to throw a fit and go to bed at 6:30pm without dinner. He then woke up at 9 to complain he was hungry, then slept on the couch. FML

agreeclassic 1 219

vote type 1 152

Thanks wasn't given

By Anonymous - 25/11/2023 18:00

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me for giving everyone food poisoning right before the holiday and ruining the weekend. He’s the one that forced and berated me into using the nasty expired ingredients in his mom’s kitchen, even though I knew better. FML

agreeclassic 686

vote type 1 193

Healthy lifestyle goals

By Anonymous - 06/04/2023 10:00

Today, I made a healthy, delicious dinner. My girlfriend picked at it until it went cold, then stuck it in the fridge. Later, she devoured a giant bowl of sugary cereal, then complained all night that her stomach hurt. This happens a lot. FML

agreeclassic 850

vote type 1 195

By clashgurl8449 - 17/02/2011 08:08

Today, my boyfriend fed me chocolate chip cookies with laxatives in them because he was concerned I did not poop enough. FML

agreeclassic 40 455

vote type 1 4 273

By tooflufoschool - 14/10/2009 13:00 - United States

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

agreeclassic 44 891

vote type 1 5 539

By samantha - 27/01/2010 14:05 - Singapore

Today, I was sick with the flu so my boyfriend announced that he would make me some chicken soup. It was touching until I stumbled to the kitchen and found out that his "chicken soup" was actually leftover KFC bones boiled in water. FML

agreeclassic 35 765

vote type 1 4 386

By Glutton - 28/01/2010 01:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I started our diet. After a long day of being held accountable for every calorie I ate, I went home to sneak a snack. My boyfriend came over to surprise me, and found me on the couch shoveling left-over Indian food into my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 6 265

vote type 1 49 647

Next

TOP COMMENTS

Anderling 32

Thursday 28 September 2023 10:28

I've got a hunch as to why your moron boyfriend was feeling sick.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 September 2023 15:09

No soup for you!

Comments

Anderling 32

Thursday 28 September 2023 10:28

I've got a hunch as to why your moron boyfriend was feeling sick.

RichardPencil 30

Thursday 28 September 2023 15:09

No soup for you!

FluffythePink 23

Friday 29 September 2023 9:39

You are going out with an idiot.

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Today, I stretched out my wedding dress on my bed so it could air out before the big day tomorrow. Later I returned to my room only to find my cat on my wedding dress, it peed on it. FML

agreeclassic 64 318

vote type 1 20 336

Today, I got better sleep in my 30-year-old compact car with it being 40 degrees outside than I did in my bed. Got something to look forward to, as I'll be homeless soon. FML

agreeclassic 4 457

vote type 1 345

Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML

agreeclassic 359

vote type 1 973

Today, I drove 150 miles to see one of my favorite singers in concert. Before I got out of the car I checked to make sure I had the tickets. Did I have the tickets? Yes. Were they for today's concert? Nope. FML

agreeclassic 19 874

vote type 1 57 312

Today, I learned that my friend really can't be trusted to set up a party by herself. The only food she provided was tap water, a single sleeve of saltines, and Kraft singles. The only entertainment was Checkers and the first season of Frasier on DVD. We all pooled $250 for her to do this! What the hell happened!? FML

agreeclassic 1 069

vote type 1 190

Today, I experienced the most intense pain I have ever had in my life. I was eating blueberries when my sister made a comment which sent me into hysterics. The force of having a bullet-like berry violently shoot out your nostril is more painful than it sounds. FML

agreeclassic 30 619

vote type 1 4 366