Intimacy: Spread the word

Spread the word

By JAY22 - 26/03/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment. Things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another, and the next thing I knew, she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said, "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML

agreeclassic 224 262

vote type 1 35 832

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By Ben - 25/01/2010 03:31 - United States

Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML

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By man - 30/10/2009 16:34 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend was giving me amazing head. I was really getting into it, when she looked up, and gave me a thumbs up. I can never take oral sex seriously again. FML

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By unbelievable208 - 05/08/2009 05:28 - United States

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house. It was just me and her. Things began to get heated, and we started doing it on the living room couch. Near the end of it, I whispered in her ear, "Who's your daddy?" I then heard behind me, "I am." FML

agreeclassic 48 681

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Stuff

By BOO! - 25/05/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head. When I came, she was scared of the "stuff" that came out. FML

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Feed me with your kiss

By Anonymous - 18/09/2021 08:00

Today, while having missionary sex, my girl was reaching a climax. She kept screaming a bunch of things like, “Yes!”, “Don’t stop!”, “Keep going.” Well, at least until a giant booger fell straight from my nose into her mouth. Then the only thing she was screaming was that I needed to leave. FML

agreeclassic 1 947

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By BDSM4Jesus - 20/01/2015 04:42 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

agreeclassic 35 175

vote type 1 4 562

By WWJD - 01/03/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend and I lustfully requested we try doggy style this time. He responded, "No, Jesus wouldn't like that." FML

agreeclassic 10 348

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Jesus wept

By chicochico - 19/12/2008 16:05 - France

Today, I had sex with a girl who cried out as she came, "Forgive me Lord! Forgive me Lord!" FML

agreeclassic 58 358

vote type 1 7 045

Get the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 01/09/2022 22:00

Today, my friend and I were driving to work, when she asked me to stop at the gas station. Ten minutes later, I see this woman come out, my friend right behind her. The woman spotted me, an intense look in her eyes. She marched over, threw a paper at me, and screamed, "Jesus died for our sins!" She then stormed off. I'm a crazy magnet. FML

agreeclassic 903

vote type 1 127

Technicality

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

agreeclassic 39 394

vote type 1 3 741

lolol182 4

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:00

ahahahahaha reminds me of the one where the girl said "forgive me lord!" when she came

Socrates_fml 0

Thursday 26 March 2009 20:02

how did you answer/what happened?

Comments

antipants 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:26

...WOW...yea that's about all i have to say to that one

AtrumMessor 1

Sunday 29 November 2009 5:50

Wow, there's nothing quite so beautifully evangelistic as a good *******.

teamwork 0

Monday 21 December 2009 3:04

clearly you suffer from chronic premature ejaculation syndrome and she was just trying to get you to last longer :)

iambecomedeathpu 0

Wednesday 23 December 2009 21:05

"Do you believe in Jesus?" "I do now!" *Blows it up her nose. xD @279 For the love of God, annalou, marry me. <3333

hmckay2010 0

Monday 11 January 2010 1:56

that's just a little bit wired. but I'm totally curious about what you said

toxic10uhc 0

Monday 11 January 2010 5:45

omfg I hate HATE whe chicks ask serious religious/political questions when things are getting steamy! **** dude I feel you...

smashgrab 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 10:40

thats when you blow it in her face and then throw a towel at her while you are leaving.

UsaTrackstar 0

Thursday 28 January 2010 6:50

hahahah reminds me of the time wen I was ontop of a girl and she asked me " do u believe m the muffin man? " lmao

Sunbolt 0

Monday 1 February 2010 22:41

that sounds like a good way to talk to people cause they won't ignore you or walk away

Sersha88 0

Tuesday 2 February 2010 9:38

should have yelled yeah and gave her a facial.

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Today, my mom asked me what I wanted as a gift, so I said a Cricut machine. She replied, "You don’t need exercise equipment, you need to eat healthier." A Cricut is a sticker maker. FML

agreeclassic 815

vote type 1 159

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agreeclassic 23 237

vote type 1 1 566

Today, I found out that the shampoo I’ve been using has yogurt in, following a prank my boyfriend did. Turns out he forgot about it and I’ve been using it for 5 days now. FML

agreeclassic 879

vote type 1 130