Animals, Clothes, Cats and Cute: Smooth criminal

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 10:00

Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML

agreeclassic 650

vote type 1 185

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Arnold Layne

By Anonymous - 28/04/2025 12:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my cat brought me a “gift” by dragging in a sock from my neighbor’s porch. It was a child's sock. I took it back to them, but I'm pretty sure the neighbor now thinks I steal clothes. FML

agreeclassic 320

vote type 1 106

By Giggity - 21/02/2011 19:20 - United States

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

agreeclassic 34 377

vote type 1 6 520

By Thanks Fred - 18/05/2019 00:05

Today, I discovered why there was such a horrible stench in my bedroom. My cat had a secret stash of shit under my dresser. Along with the carcass of a rat. FML

agreeclassic 1 869

vote type 1 307

By maggotsinmycarpet - 12/07/2010 20:56 - United States

Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML

agreeclassic 37 519

vote type 1 5 123

By WHOO HOO AIDS - 01/06/2013 18:52 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

agreeclassic 48 679

vote type 1 3 738

By shadokis - 12/09/2012 18:31 - United States - Charlotte

Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML

agreeclassic 28 994

vote type 1 2 555

By Seriously_Scaredy_Cat - 27/11/2013 07:08 - United States

Today, I was taking some clean bedsheets down from the top of the wardrobe. As I pulled the top sheet down, a cat jumped onto my face, claws and all, before falling to the floor and running away. Thing is, I don't own a cat and I have no idea where in the house it has hidden now. FML

agreeclassic 46 865

vote type 1 3 095

By peteswentzbass - 26/01/2013 17:18 - Netherlands - Nuenen

Today, my roommate and I noticed a foul smell in our apartment. After looking around for a little while, I found that her cat had pooped on a pair of my jeans, and apparently tried to cover it up by dragging a shirt over the mess. FML

agreeclassic 29 056

vote type 1 3 411

Gross

By Noname - 02/03/2009 21:35 - United States

Today, I noticed some of my things in my slob of a roommate's piles of clothes. I found six pairs of my underwear that had gone missing. Turns out she hasn't done laundry recently so my underwear drawer was her own personal Victoria's Secret. I hadn't even worn a pair yet. All six were stained. FML

agreeclassic 93 360

vote type 1 4 392

By Peach - 02/03/2012 05:46 - United States

Today, I found one of my roommate's giant yellow toenail clippings on the counter next to the kitchen sink. When I confronted him about it, he told me the cat must have carried it out of his bedroom and put it there. FML

agreeclassic 23 711

vote type 1 2 173

Sonotsuave 35

Wednesday 26 April 2023 19:13

Lol this is too funny

Yudith 25

Thursday 27 April 2023 18:42

Now we know why we never find all of our socks after washing our clothes. It's the cat, of course!

Comments

Sonotsuave 35

Wednesday 26 April 2023 19:13

Lol this is too funny

Yudith 25

Thursday 27 April 2023 18:42

Now we know why we never find all of our socks after washing our clothes. It's the cat, of course!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I woke up to find two pitbulls viciously tearing up my couch. I have never owned a dog and I live alone. FML

agreeclassic 1 084

vote type 1 91

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

agreeclassic 33 533

vote type 1 5 393

Today, I was making out with my new boyfriend when he pulled away and looked me deeply in the eyes, he smiled and said, "I don't care what anyone else says, I think you're beautiful." FML

agreeclassic 43 199

vote type 1 18 002

Today, I was riding my bike to work in a hurry and hit a pothole. I flew off and hit the ground hard. I was badly shaken, but an old lady came over, checked me out and helped me to my feet. After she left the scene, I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet while "helping" me. FML

agreeclassic 36 074

vote type 1 3 200

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

agreeclassic 48 555

vote type 1 8 964

Today, I got stressed and well, let's just say I got carried away, pulled off most of my eyelashes on one eye, and now I have to find falsies that look real. FML

agreeclassic 1 283

vote type 1 1 800

Smooth criminal

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