Sex and Intimacy: Smart kid - FML

Smart kid

By Anonymous - this FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Pleasanton

Spicy

Today, my neighbor pointed at me and said to his best friend, "This motherfucker still lives with his mama. That's why he can't get no pussy." I'm thirty. My neighbor is eleven, and correct. FML

agreeclassic 30 708

vote type 1 8 387

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TOP COMMENTS

Econforthwin 15

Monday 7 September 2015 17:06

Well ignoring the fact that an 11 year old shouldn't talk like that, maybe consider getting your own place and starting an independent life.

beeferjay 34

Monday 7 September 2015 17:02

im guessing you are leaving out other key facts that contribute to your lack of said pussy

Comments

da_epic_failman 7

Saturday 23 January 2016 19:19

Lol. Me and my friends were just as foul-mouthed at that age!

mccuish 25

Monday 24 April 2023 7:08

I’m 32 years old and still live with my parents. I just don’t feel the need to move out anytime soon. I’m happy living with my parents

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I'm in Venice for a romantic weekend. While I was gushing about the gondolas, canals and the city of love in general, the only thing my boyfriend could say was, "Wow! How cool is it to be on the set of the Tomb Raider movie?" FML

agreeclassic 39 489

vote type 1 9 018

Today, I had my teacher look over my essay before turning it in. He said it was extremely well-written, so I handed it in. When I got it back, the feedback he left said it was one of the worst essays he'd ever read. FML

agreeclassic 53 133

vote type 1 4 622

Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML

agreeclassic 1 734

vote type 1 233

Today, I was checking the Facebook event page to see who is attending the party I am having this weekend, since my parents are going out of town. 1 person has confirmed. My mom. FML

agreeclassic 10 758

vote type 1 38 459

Today, my crush was walking up to me and I put my earphones in, playing hard to get. When I heard him say something about a date I take an earphone out and say, "Oh, I didn't see you there!" His response, "They're not connected to anything," holds up the end of my earphones and walks away. FML

agreeclassic 13 385

vote type 1 132 040

Today, I reached into my pocket and found my mom's car keys. I'm a four hour drive away, and she obviously can't come to pick them up. FML

agreeclassic 23 726

vote type 1 7 373