Sex, Wanker and Intimacy: She's electric

She's electric

By nnniii - 16/11/2015 04:55 - United States - Seattle

Today, I tried to give my first hand-job while wearing fuzzy socks in a carpeted room. I reached out to touch his dick and shocked him. FML

agreeclassic 28 516

vote type 1 5 326

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By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

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By Anonymous - 30/08/2011 11:24 - Australia

Today, I got my first hand job. I started bleeding. FML

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By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 19:00

Today, I gave my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. Apparently, I was so bad at it that he eventually just slapped my hand away and angrily said he'd do it himself. FML

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By ilovesocks - 20/01/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I was hooking up with a guy I just met. Things were getting hot and heavy and he asked me if I had a condom. I said no, and to which he replied "that's okay, we can just use a sock" and pulled his sock off of his left foot. FML

agreeclassic 31 986

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By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

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The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

agreeclassic 28 124

vote type 1 74 113

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

agreeclassic 16 515

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Love is love

By SpiderMan - 12/03/2009 00:23 - United States

Today, I was masturbating into a sock when I felt something on my cock. I quickly ripped the sock off and threw it on the floor… and watched a huge spider come scurrying out. I just inadvertently fucked a spider. FML

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By anonymous - 02/11/2015 03:13 - United States - San Francisco

Today, was the first time giving head to my boyfriend. He couldn't finish, so I tried a handjob. In the end he kind of pushed my hand away so he could finish himself off. FML

agreeclassic 28 350

vote type 1 7 541

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

agreeclassic 39 932

vote type 1 9 253

TweetAnne 13

Monday 16 November 2015 16:48

What an electrifying moment.

pd2902 22

Monday 16 November 2015 16:50

Talk about there being sparks in a relationship

Comments

PuppiesKisses 19

Monday 16 November 2015 21:00

When I read this I burst out laughing. I was next to my fiancé and he's scared this gave me ideas.

BloopBlahp 6

Monday 16 November 2015 21:07

What a shocking experience

Goblin182 26

Monday 16 November 2015 21:37

I don't understand getting a hand job. If that is all she is going to do I would rather she rub my back. I can't reach my back.

Dr_Alex 10

Monday 16 November 2015 21:44

shocked it* :-)

Internetflakes 13

Monday 16 November 2015 22:22

even Benjamin Franklin saw that one coming.

DoomSkuller 28

Monday 16 November 2015 22:47

Sounds kinky

Demonface54 20

Monday 16 November 2015 23:27

Come on, even he has to admit that's hilarious.

haymac 13

Monday 16 November 2015 23:29

His FML Today, my girlfriend tried to give me a handjob and shocked the **** out of my dick, FML

Alexandria79 22

Tuesday 17 November 2015 0:09

Sparks flew. must be meant to be haha

darkmatternat 1

Tuesday 17 November 2015 2:03

I guess you could say his Dick is now a lightning rod.

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Keywords

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Today, my long-term boyfriend still does not want to get married and file our taxes jointly, but rather wants to claim me as a “dependent” so he gets a bigger refund. FML

agreeclassic 410

vote type 1 147

Today, while I was stuck in traffic, I got a nasty call from my boss, demanding to know why I hadn't set up a demo site for a client. I'd never gotten the request, and even if I had, I couldn't do it because I was in traffic. The exchange humiliated him on a conference call with the client, so he wrote me up out of spite. FML

agreeclassic 547

vote type 1 112

Today, my 6 brothers and I (a girl) were finally finding out the sex of my mom's baby. It's going to be another boy. FML

agreeclassic 7 520

vote type 1 799

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

agreeclassic 4 503

vote type 1 433

Today, I asked my fiancé what he liked most about being in a relationship with me. His answer? "I can watch your boobs without being called a perv." FML

agreeclassic 31 402

vote type 1 7 420

Today, the police gave me a ticket for obstructing a loading bay as the vehicle "was not parked within the loading bay markings". I couldn't get the vehicle fully into the loading bay because there was a police vehicle in the way. FML

agreeclassic 9 414

vote type 1 716