Work, Drunk and Love: Rowdy

Rowdy

By FMyEx - 06/12/2012 11:50 - United States - Southington

Today, I was bartending. A guest was getting belligerent so I had to cut him off. He called me a bitch and threw the rest of his drink in my face before storming off. The belligerent asscandle was my boyfriend. FML

agreeclassic 29 622

vote type 1 4 891

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

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By S. Bauer - 02/11/2011 13:50 - Portugal

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend for smoking in the house, because I didn't want the house to smell like smoke. While doing so, I knocked over a candle and lit the couch on fire. FML

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I'm not paid enough for this shit

By Bartender - 20/10/2014 21:04 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, near the end end of my shift as a bartender, a drunk man stumbled into my bar, got upset because I refused to serve him, puked into my tip jar, then offered me half a pack of cigarettes in exchange for sex. FML

agreeclassic 35 546

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Dude, chill out

By U... - 18/08/2023 22:00

Today, my friend got a text showing his girlfriend cheating on him. Sounds like his FML, but he was at my house. He then worked his way through a bottle of my whisky and went into a drunken rage. He threw my furniture through windows, punched holes in the wall, and smashed stuff until I had to call the cops. FML

agreeclassic 742

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I'm a bad person

By Oops - 01/11/2025 00:00

Today, at a fancy date, my boyfriend said he forgot his wallet. I was instantly furious, threw a drink in his face, and yelled that he was a no-good, tiny-dicked broke loser. Dripping wine, he then said, "…but I can still pay with my phone. You didn't let me finish." FML

agreeclassic 49

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Difficult

By stressed - 12/10/2014 06:40 - United States - Statham

Today, as a restaurant manager, I had a large party of difficult guests. They sat in their private room they'd reserved for three-and-a-half hours, then caused a huge scene when it was time to pay. One guy even ran at me like he was going to hit me. FML

agreeclassic 36 985

vote type 1 2 688

By Anonymous - 19/08/2009 22:31 - Canada

Today, a completely drunk girl walked across the bar and punched me in the face because I was wearing the same dress as her, and her boyfriend had said it looked better on me. While I was screaming at her for being a stupid bitch, she puked all over me, wiped her mouth, and laughed before she passed out. FML

agreeclassic 67 159

vote type 1 4 715

I need one

By j…… - 14/08/2011 03:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because of my drunken antics. My reaction? Pour myself a stiff drink. FML

agreeclassic 9 623

vote type 1 56 967

Get out

By why yes, I do mean "ex-boyfriend" - 17/08/2013 22:40 - Netherlands - Oosterwolde

Today, I got sent home early because a large fire broke out at work. I was greeted by the sight of my cocktard of a "boyfriend" making out on my sofa with another woman. He actually had the audacity and brass balls to claim he thought she was me. FML

agreeclassic 60 737

vote type 1 4 277

Manly men fighting

By Anonymous - 05/06/2020 05:00

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and had a fistfight with a dumb teenager, which was bad enough, but he also lost the fight, which was just pathetic and embarrassing. FML

agreeclassic 1 483

vote type 1 274

He's a good man

By no booze, no boyfriend - 04/06/2013 20:31 - United States

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me from jail, expecting me to bail him out. He'd tried to buy a load of booze at the liquor store and came up short by ten cents. The cashier refused to be short-changed, and he figured the only reasonable reaction was to punch her in the face. FML

agreeclassic 50 171

vote type 1 4 668

Supahnova 14

Thursday 6 December 2012 18:52

Asscandle? I must brush up on my insults.

newbiehere99 6

Thursday 6 December 2012 19:17

asscandle Ignition of the inner anus caused by methane gas, and a struck match. Urbandictionary.com

Comments

Lkitteh 5

Wednesday 16 January 2013 7:40

asscandle is right

DreamyMia 16

Monday 1 July 2013 2:38

I think you mispelled ex-boyfriend rigth there... just saying.

Nederlander95 14

Wednesday 2 October 2013 17:52

Key word "was"

Tripitaka 21

Monday 26 January 2015 12:49

You mean your EX boyfriend, right?

tcg14e 6

Wednesday 16 March 2016 3:29

your fault for dating an ass

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Jealousy Underwear Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, my ex came back into my life, professing his love and begging for another chance. This begging act ended rather suddenly once he remembered I have a daughter. FML

agreeclassic 14 386

vote type 1 1 170

Today, my social anxiety got so bad that my 12 year-old daughter had to get in the driver's seat to order from the drive-thru. FML

agreeclassic 11 786

vote type 1 2 865

Today, I got a slap because my 8 year-old stepson has such a big mouth, he couldn’t resist pointing out a nearby white woman had a "phat butt" and should "give it back to the black lady she stole it from." I blame his racist old grandad for this. FML

agreeclassic 1 050

vote type 1 205

Today, to get back at my ex, I told him he couldn't see our kids until he pays back the money he owes me. Little did I know, he'd secretly recorded our conversation and now I might lost custody of my kids for "parental alienation." FML

agreeclassic 100

vote type 1 1 105

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

agreeclassic 41 302

vote type 1 3 797

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he didn't want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that, "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country." He then added, "That's exactly why I wouldn't have sex with you." FML

agreeclassic 20 254

vote type 1 65 260

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