Intimacy: Performance

Performance

By bob - 29/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

agreeclassic 18 373

vote type 1 31 617

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

agreeclassic 41 776

vote type 1 20 707

New isn't always good

By anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

agreeclassic 22 254

vote type 1 32 486

Heartless swine

By Anonymous - 15/09/2015 05:56 - United States

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, I got up to get some water. When I stood up, I fell straight to the ground, my legs were so weak. As I fell, I hit my head on the end table and knocked myself unconscious. My boyfriend laughed at me. FML

agreeclassic 31 048

vote type 1 4 396

WTF is going on here?

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

agreeclassic 94 259

vote type 1 20 276

By dontpanic - 21/09/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

agreeclassic 11 506

vote type 1 26 999

By Anonymous - 13/06/2013 15:13 - United States - Bemidji

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

agreeclassic 52 371

vote type 1 13 703

By Arielle - 31/01/2012 11:07 - Australia

Today, I went to the hospital emergency room to visit my boyfriend who had badly sliced his leg open. It ended with me being admitted with a possible head trauma, after hitting my head on the wall and floor as I collapsed at the sight of his wound. FML

agreeclassic 26 628

vote type 1 4 407

It's just a flesh wound!

By manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

agreeclassic 39 245

vote type 1 4 040

Life imitates bad art

By sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

agreeclassic 857

vote type 1 2 210

By Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

agreeclassic 20 510

vote type 1 3 254

BlueEyed1019 12

Friday 29 June 2012 16:03

make sure you tell her girlfriend you dropped her because you're not strong enough, not because she weighs too much, I could see how being dropped could be a little offensive

saIty 17

Friday 29 June 2012 16:02

No but I bet your right arm is jacked... If you know what I mean *Nudge nudge* *Wink wink*

Comments

merrielp 13

Friday 29 June 2012 21:46

Wow

kodokan 0

Friday 29 June 2012 22:59

YDI for banging fat chicks

unknown_user5566 26

Friday 29 June 2012 23:02

That's okay, OP. Now you can buy her a sexy nurse outfit and she can nurse you back to health. ;)

supermallam 4

Friday 29 June 2012 23:02

Get you're ass to a gym then

kodokan 0

Friday 29 June 2012 23:08

YDI for banging fat chicks

The_F3rris 11

Friday 29 June 2012 23:11

Just drop your woman on glass? A real man would at least not make her bleed.

BighornB 0

Saturday 30 June 2012 0:04

YDI, or else she's a fatty

alycion 38

Saturday 30 June 2012 0:51

Time for a coffee table that will cause less injuries if that happens again. Spontaneous situations can be a lot of fun with sex. Shame when they turn into disasters.