Intimacy: Nooooooo! - FML

Nooooooo!

By Anonymous - 15/06/2009 11:23 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally got a chance to try out my vibrator. I've never orgasmed before with a guy, so I thought there was no hope until my friend gave me the vibrator for my birthday. It was going amazing, better than sex. I was literally two seconds away from climaxing when the battery suddenly died. FML

agreeclassic 78 303

vote type 1 15 013

The rhythm of the fight
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Next

TOP COMMENTS

FBIWarning 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:03

jeeze how long were you at it for the battery to die?

Nev09 0

Monday 15 June 2009 20:02

next time: 1) set up webcam 2) post up movie 3) ???? 4) profit!

Comments

cynically 19

Wednesday 7 August 2013 5:18

just put new batteries in and start over, wtf lol. It's not like you'll never be able to achieve ****** again now that you know.

toshimahalaketa 6

Tuesday 12 August 2014 5:20

damn that sucks

iislix1ii 19

Wednesday 4 February 2015 16:27

Always replace the batteries xD

johnjkl 22

Tuesday 24 November 2015 13:23

Just like a real man

cloudyface 23

Thursday 4 February 2016 15:49

The battery don't just suddenly die the machine just starts to slow down really fast there's a difference.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Top

Today, a coworker was telling me he was lonely and needed someone special in his life. I replied, "Why don't you find yourself a girlfriend?" He looked at me weird and said, "I'm gay." FML

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vote type 1 532

Today, after sleeping with a guy I met at a party, I woke up to find him peeing in the corner of my room on my roommate's carpet. FML

agreeclassic 9 599

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Today, I went to my crushes Mardi Gras party. He was handing out beads to all the girls at the party that flashed him. When he came around to me he stopped and said "I will give you these beads NOT to flash me." FML

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Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, the girl next to me slipped and went flying back against the wall. Indecisive whether to get off and help her or to just keep going, I lost my focus and footing and flew back next to her. FML

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Today, I looked at my neighbor's empty lawn; he's an old guy and he usually has the best Christmas lights. We knew he might not be able to do them this year, so I felt bad and I did them for him. Later, a neighbor asked about them and I told her that I helped out. She said, "You do know he died, right?" FML

agreeclassic 38 715

vote type 1 18 571

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being a feeder, saying that's why she's been putting on so much weight. When I said it might be because she eats at McDonald's everyday, and that I was willing to start cooking low-calorie foods for us, she hit me. Then she went to McDonald's. FML

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