Me at lunchtime By Lewis - 12/12/2018 00:30 Why have I to be polite? I agree, your life sucks 265 You deserved it 64 Share Tweet Share
Today, I was offered an incredible career opportunity in Australia, so I’d have to emigrate. It has an unbelievable pay rise too, but my husband has so many phobias of spiders, snakes, and so on, that he’s threatening to divorce me if I go, because he isn’t setting foot in Australia even to visit me. FML I agree, your life sucks 931 You deserved it 175
Today, I texted my friend “Happy Birthday!” with balloons and confetti emojis. She replied, “It’s next week, but thanks for being early.” I’ve been her friend for ten years. FML I agree, your life sucks 122 You deserved it 327
Today, I learned that the only reason my girlfriend stayed with me is because I drove us to school every morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 6 938 You deserved it 597
Today, my band played its first real gig. It was going well, and I, the vocalist, thought it would be a good idea to stage dive. I underestimated the distance between the stage and the crowd and crashed into the floor. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 870 You deserved it 59 718
Today, I picked up my online grocery order. The clerk asked about the party, because he assumed I was having one because of all the ice cream I'd ordered. I'm bulimic and everything was for me. FML I agree, your life sucks 812 You deserved it 418
Today, my dog hates my neighbor so much, she forms a shit barrier in their yard to keep them away from my house. FML I agree, your life sucks 18 250 You deserved it 1 883