Life Goals By FML Videos - 12/11/2018 00:00 Don't stop believing! agreeclassic 248 vote type 1 88 Share Tweet Share
Today, I got a job with a filmmaking company, turned up on my first day, and now I know why I'd never heard of the company before. Porn. They were making porn, all kinds of disgusting porn. I quit so fast I was barely even there. This was the only job offer I’ve had since graduation. FML agreeclassic 826 vote type 1 9 130
Today, my $1300 mattress that I bought for my new home was delivered. To my old house. FML agreeclassic 9 432 vote type 1 1 654
Today, I was working at a place where if you're tipped, you sing. After a lady paid for her ice cream, she pulled out 5 dollars. Thinking it was a tip, I took it, and sang the song. She didn't mean to tip me. I was stopped by the woman slapping me. FML agreeclassic 46 876 vote type 1 15 217
Today, I realized our life has been lacking in romance lately, so I got a card, a bunch of flowers, and made reservations at a lovely restaurant for a nice evening. When I got home and gave my wife the flowers, all she did was sigh and ask what I "fucked up this time." She also refused to go to dinner. FML agreeclassic 564 vote type 1 121
Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML agreeclassic 34 570 vote type 1 19 452
Today, I let my 5 year-old niece walk my 3 month-old husky puppy while I watched. I didn't realize how strong my puppy actually is until she took off running while dragging my niece with her. My niece now has two busted up knees and chin and her mother is now calling my puppy "demon puppy." FML agreeclassic 40 268 vote type 1 26 814
All I can think is "I hope his/her spine is okay".