Kids and Love: Life goals

Life goals

By ShayisPay101 - 15/02/2010 18:58 - United States

Today, my daughter told me she wants to be a stripper when she grows up, just like "Daddy's girlfriend." We're still married. FML

agreeclassic 44 595

vote type 1 3 893

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By Nuts - 07/11/2015 02:55 - Canada - Grimsby

Today, my daughter told me she wanted to divorce me. FML

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vote type 1 3 177

By Anonymous - 05/10/2018 13:30

Today, my daughter asked me to braid her hair. When I was done, she said Daddy's girlfriend does it better. I wasn't aware we had an open marriage. FML

agreeclassic 4 157

vote type 1 197

By dumped - 05/06/2011 05:17 - United States

Today, my five year old daughter asked me what a divorce was. When I asked why she wanted to know, she replied with "Daddy wants one. He says you can have me." FML

agreeclassic 70 067

vote type 1 4 187

By parentof5 - 23/04/2011 15:20 - United States

Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML

agreeclassic 37 657

vote type 1 24 800

By azmom - 27/03/2012 17:51 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I dropped off my 19 year old daughter at her first job. It's at a strip club. FML

agreeclassic 34 352

vote type 1 26 227

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

agreeclassic 39 902

vote type 1 5 990

By SCARRED - 29/08/2014 20:15 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I walked in on my dad giving my mom a striptease. FML

agreeclassic 50 811

vote type 1 7 603

By kte - 30/12/2009 10:36 - United States

Today, I found out that my parents bought a stripper pole, my mom even hired a stripper to teach her some "moves." I'm scared to go in their room now. FML

agreeclassic 25 335

vote type 1 2 656

By Anonymous - 22/07/2014 17:39 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML

agreeclassic 63 462

vote type 1 44 754

By Stripperofthemall - 25/08/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I found out why my 5 year-old son's teacher acts so awkward around me. My son told everyone in his class that I work as a stripper. I'm not a stripper, I work at the strip mall. FML

agreeclassic 44 235

vote type 1 2 920

bobert258 0

Tuesday 16 February 2010 1:04

ouch

MermaidSongXOXO 6

Tuesday 16 February 2010 1:06

Take her to the local fire station and ask if she could use their pole. Practice makes perfect :)

Comments

mandilynn831 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 2:16

omg I would had died

sexxyajayy 0

Sunday 21 February 2010 6:04

nice kid u got there ehh? ;]

Samuraixman 3

Friday 5 March 2010 8:58

Is your husband tiger woods

ryguy997 0

Monday 8 March 2010 21:18

**** 'EM ALL!!!

aandfgirlie45 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 6:20

hahaha wow

holycheesecake 0

Monday 14 June 2010 3:09

wow beat him

welly_ellie 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 0:49

holy shitt

missmontreal97 4

Friday 6 August 2010 18:00

omg. sorry to hear that op. :(

tamoodielovesmar 1

Monday 20 June 2011 0:01

that blows

buddddy 5

Friday 15 July 2011 6:16

wat did you do wrong to deserve that

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I've been having really bad seasonal allergies. I was at work, and feeling just about to sneeze for at least a full minute, but thought I could stop it. A customer came up to me, I opened my mouth to greet her… but instead sneezed right in her face. Several seconds before my addled brain caught up. FML

agreeclassic 723

vote type 1 197

Today, because of my life situation, I was told I'll have to have a colonoscopy without anesthesia. FML

agreeclassic 872

vote type 1 131

Today, like I've had for what seems like the past year, I have the Skibidi Toilet song playing in my brain. If you don't know what that is, don't look it up. My boyfriend isn't helping because he keeps singing the "YES YES" part. I can't escape my intrusive thoughts. Help. FML

agreeclassic 295

vote type 1 141

Today, a tornado watch has been instituted in my town. At this moment, I have violent diarrhea, and my toilet sits right in front of a window. FML

agreeclassic 35 290

vote type 1 4 254

Today, I fell down the stairs while holding some dirty glasses from my room. I ended up pulling pieces of glass from my body. Meanwhile all my mom cares about is the fact that I broke three of her favorite glasses. FML

agreeclassic 11 278

vote type 1 1 854

Today, my therapist told me to write down my goals for the next five years. After thinking hard for what seemed like forever, all I could come up with was getting a girlfriend and having an FML published. And to be honest, I'm not even sure about that first one. FML

agreeclassic 13 442

vote type 1 1 734

Life goals

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