Joe Bidet By userrrrr - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States Today, I found out that my girlfriend's idea of "washing her feet" is sticking her foot in the toilet and flushing. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 457 You deserved it 3 841 Share Tweet Share
Today, I gave my friend condoms since he didn't have any and he was planning on "getting lucky." Little did I know he was planning on "getting lucky" with my sister. FML I agree, your life sucks 36 693 You deserved it 5 844
Today, I was trying on some shoes. As I was bending down, an old lady with a walking frame slowly approached. As she got close she whispered to me, "Mmm, you've got a nice tushie." My girlfriend will not let me hear the end of it. FML I agree, your life sucks 31 227 You deserved it 3 716
Today, I was at a restaurant with my son when he started to choke on his food. Panicked, I grabbed the closest drink I could reach and made him gulp it down. Only when I received tons of dirty looks from people at other tables did I realize I had given him beer. My son is 8. FML I agree, your life sucks 39 321 You deserved it 13 169
Today, I was at the park with a friend when I said, "Gotta go, sorry. I've got court in an hour." The lady on the bench next to us then loudly complained how disgusting I was for being a criminal and threw her bird seed at me, dirtying my suit. I'm a lawyer with a case in an hour, not a criminal. FML I agree, your life sucks 55 426 You deserved it 3 880
Today, my boyfriend told me that having my own condoms is unattractive, emasculating, and a turn off. According to him it's the man’s responsibility to provide the protection, and the fact that I have my own means I must have been very promiscuous if I needed to have them on hand. I’m allergic to the pill. FML I agree, your life sucks 792 You deserved it 191
Today, I bought a used treadmill and set it up in my room. I switched it on, it made one heroic whir, died before I could even get on it, then it tripped the fuse box. I was left in the dark, holding a sneaker, while my roommate upstairs yelled, “Is that normal? What've you done this time?” FML I agree, your life sucks 277 You deserved it 105
There's a keeper!
Are you sure she wasn't joking... i mean... come on... who does that?