Weird, Awkward, First Dates and Intimacy: Ice-breaker

Ice-breaker

By bye loser - 20/10/2014 09:28 - Canada - Abbotsford

Today, I went on a first date. Everything was going well until he asked me, "So, what's the biggest thing you've stuck up your vag?" FML

agreeclassic 45 767

vote type 1 3 974

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Found it

By Anonymous - 01/02/2022 20:01

Today, my boyfriend was about to go down on me as foreplay before losing his virginity and he actually poked my clitoris and said, "What’s this thing?" FML

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Recognize this?

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 02:42 - United States - Rock Island

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my vagina. He replied, "What's that?" FML

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Weird assumption

By writer4life - 17/01/2010 05:30 - United States

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met online. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

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Classy

By dontask - 01/10/2010 01:55 - United States

Today, the guy I've been crushing on for years and I finally went on a date. While on the date, he threw up in my purse and stuck tampons up his nose. FML

agreeclassic 31 868

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QC issue

By Anonymous - 02/10/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my date was about to go down on me when he burst out laughing. I'd bought some new sexy panties, which apparently had a sticker on them that came off and got stuck to me. It seems my vagina had been examined by employee No.32 for quality control purposes. FML

agreeclassic 282

vote type 1 478

WTF dude?

By Scarred for life - 04/02/2017 16:00 - United States - Eagle River

Today, I went on a blind date. The first words that came out of his mouth were, "Rape isn't that bad if you think about it." FML

agreeclassic 11 892

vote type 1 1 356

By Anonymous - 20/08/2014 22:14 - Sweden - ?kersberga

Today, I went on my first date in 8 years. While we were looking at the menu, the guy said: "So if you're vegetarian, why're you so fat?" FML

agreeclassic 47 992

vote type 1 8 260

By MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

agreeclassic 44 022

vote type 1 5 578

By haggisbowl - 14/01/2012 06:52 - United States

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

agreeclassic 32 137

vote type 1 9 474

Picture game

By Anonymous - 01/12/2019 20:00

agreeclassic 1 577

vote type 1 2 221

foxwasalamb 24

Monday 20 October 2014 22:12

what the ****..? maybe its a clever way of saying he has a large penis

HappyItalian 38

Monday 20 October 2014 22:16

"Probably not you."

Comments

IWishIWasObama 12

Tuesday 21 October 2014 17:08

you have found your one. congratulations!

savemeSheehan 8

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:48

classy guy

Joshery 14

Tuesday 21 October 2014 19:55

Walk away...just walk away

InTheMagic 3

Wednesday 22 October 2014 1:58

Nervous?? Or just a creep??

lbanks_fml 10

Wednesday 22 October 2014 5:42

Was the problem with the question.........or the answer to his question??

Tyyeezyjr 13

Wednesday 22 October 2014 6:26

No comment.

clair_brodie 35

Wednesday 22 October 2014 7:00

"I'm not sure but it was probably bigger than your dick"

prostar9993 15

Wednesday 22 October 2014 20:52

And your answer is.........

urake 10

Thursday 23 October 2014 7:07

Hahaha "bye loser" indeed Good for you OP :)

ladyg228 15

Thursday 23 October 2014 9:13

Should of Answered with nothing because I'm waiting until marriage. That would shut it down quick

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Today, while mowing, I found a baby bunny and took a picture of it. 20 minutes later, I accidentally ran over said bunny with the mower. FML

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Today, my boyfriend confided to me that he has a used condom collection. When I reacted with disgust, he "reassured" me that he only keeps the ones he uses with me. FML

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Today, I went to see Paranormal Activity 2 with my boyfriend. In hopes of him putting his arm around me or holding my hand, I told him that I was very scared and pretended to cry a little. He told me to be quiet because I was ruining the movie for him. Then he moved seats. FML

agreeclassic 25 219

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Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

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Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

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Today, I found a necklace on Marketplace identical to one my wife lost years ago, so I agreed on a price and drove over to get it for Christmas. There was no necklace and I now know that prostitutes will pretend to sell an item they’re photographed wearing, when in fact they are selling themselves. FML

agreeclassic 530

vote type 1 156

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