Goodbye Dreams By FML Videos - 15/10/2018 00:00 Keep chasing them! I agree, your life sucks 326 You deserved it 73 Share Tweet Share
Today, after months of having my standards lowered by how unattractive guys' dating profiles are, I found myself masturbating to the yellow guy from Sin City. Yep. He's hot compared to my real options. FML I agree, your life sucks 671 You deserved it 707
Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 309 You deserved it 6 058
Today, I realized I got more birthday wishes from people checking my ID for alcohol purchases than from friends. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 848 You deserved it 1 247
Today, my mom added me on Facebook. She wrote on my wall, for the whole world to see, "Why are you swearing on the internet?! You're grounded". FML I agree, your life sucks 27 459 You deserved it 22 413
Today, as the manager of a McDonald's, I had to ask a group of high school kids to calm down after several complaints from other guests. Their rational response was to pour soda on my head and throw burgers at me. Upon returning from chasing them out, I sprained my foot. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 982 You deserved it 179
Today, my boyfriend of three years hooked up with a girl who got herpes from a Michigan football player. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 162 You deserved it 138
Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML I agree, your life sucks 269 You deserved it 225
Today, as a giant crowd of people and I had walked across a parking lot, I yelled out to a friend waiting in their car for me, "I DIDN'T FALL THIS TIME!" (I always fall when it's winter) to then literally taking a single step to slip and slide what felt like 20 feet to someone yelling out, "AND SAFE!" like an umpire. FML I agree, your life sucks 282 You deserved it 176