Kids: Be warned - FML

Be warned

By JCC - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML

agreeclassic 35 720

vote type 1 13 154

Watch out for the New Year
It's time to say goodbye to the current year, but when the goodbye goes wrong, it's a different story. Be careful, you might want to stay at home. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Similar FMLs

By kimm1993 - 03/08/2013 04:29 - United States - Chicago

Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML

agreeclassic 48 709

vote type 1 8 469

By Karie-Rose - 06/02/2010 06:28 - United States

Today, as I was working at my babysitting job, I was watching a 3.5 year old girl. She begged and begged me to come in the jacuzzi with her, and when I put on my 2-piece bathing suit on, the young girl asked me why my stomach looked like a bagel. I looked down just to realize she was right. FML

agreeclassic 25 687

vote type 1 5 734

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 15:48 - United Kingdom - Northampton

Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML

agreeclassic 23 744

vote type 1 10 743

It's a pillow soft for my neck

By Anonymous - 19/08/2021 21:01 - United States - Battle Creek

Today, while tucking my toddler in bed and telling her I love her, she responded with, "And I love your bouncy castle belly!" I know I'm overweight, but I didn't think I was that fat. FML

agreeclassic 775

vote type 1 226

By pencilskirt - 22/03/2019 00:00

Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML

agreeclassic 2 151

vote type 1 306

By embarassed - 20/03/2011 04:26 - United States

Today, I dragged my son along with me to a work party because I didn't want him home by himself. Halfway through, he stood up and made an announcement about my pregnancy. I had to explain to all my coworkers and my boss that I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat. FML

agreeclassic 38 056

vote type 1 10 518

By Liz0352 - 08/11/2018 04:30 - United States - Bainbridge Island

Today, my youngest son's teacher surprised me with a box of diapers. Apparently my son told her I was pregnant, but I'm not. I had to explain to her I'm just fat. She apologized and felt awful, and told me to keep the diapers. My children are 5 and 7. FML

agreeclassic 2 992

vote type 1 295

By Chubs - 29/03/2009 12:32 - Norway

Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML

agreeclassic 73 357

vote type 1 11 656

Nice of her

By Bill - 06/12/2009 20:28 - United States

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my 5 year-old on my lap. All of a sudden, she turned to me and said, "Daddy, I love your boobies. They're a good pillow." My own kid just called me fat. FML

agreeclassic 28 972

vote type 1 18 131

By Chubby - 02/11/2009 20:39 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a really annoying kid who wouldn't listen to me, and threw his food through the kitchen, so I punished him. When his mother came home he ran to her and said, "Mommy, mommy, it's not true what you told me, fat people are NOT nice!" FML

agreeclassic 39 582

vote type 1 5 544

Next

TOP COMMENTS

iAmScrubs 19

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:01

Tell the toddler you are Santa. You will get sooo much respect.

indianajones103 2

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:05

eat the child. problem solved.

Comments

Kitkatrehab 0

Wednesday 22 June 2011 7:41

Aw- I'm sorry that soooo sad but funny- kids r pushy little things lol

Des6245 0

Friday 8 July 2011 2:21

maybe you should lose some weight... hmm

Moiety 10

Tuesday 2 August 2011 9:55

I have to tell the kids in preschool (I'm a secondary at different preschools) that I'm not having a baby in my tummy.. They're 1-5 years old.. They don't believe me.. I'm not that fat at all -.-

jenni1991 0

Thursday 22 September 2011 1:17

Lol omgosh ! kids are so curious ! haha

youtubetre_fml 14

Thursday 27 October 2011 13:19

Want a bullet ???

kyuubirules 0

Wednesday 18 January 2012 4:36

Well I bet your belly is cute ;)

chesoes 8

Tuesday 24 January 2012 18:05

Lol kids do that

Gutsmasher 1

Tuesday 8 October 2013 20:36

Oink oink oink oink oink oink oink

VDM sur Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Top

Top

Today, I had a conference call with a client. I was feeling confident and had been preparing all morning. Right in the middle of my presentation, I hit the wrong button, and my webcam feed turned into a close-up of my face, which had a giant zit right in the middle of my forehead. The client didn’t say anything, but I could see their eyes glued to it. FML

agreeclassic 324

vote type 1 203

Today, I found out that pinching the tip of the condom before you roll it down to the base is NOT a suggestion. FML

agreeclassic 6 967

vote type 1 26 520

Today, my boyfriend told me he hoped I don’t get pregnant because he’d hate to have to dump me to escape fatherhood. Thinking he was making an insensitive joke about my single pregnant sister, I asked how many women he dumped for falling pregnant. He looked me dead in the eye and said, "Four." FML

agreeclassic 1 289

vote type 1 241

Today, I’m on holiday with my mum. She got so pissed, she fell over on the dance floor at the children’s disco, then had to rely on a stranger to keep her upright so I could go get the car to take her home. FML

agreeclassic 1 552

vote type 1 112

Today, I received a letter saying that I was accepted into university and that I qualified for a number of scholarships. Too bad an equivalent sum of money will be spent fixing the car I hit, after spinning out on ice, whilst driving home from said university. FML

agreeclassic 26 965

vote type 1 4 867

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

agreeclassic 80 036

vote type 1 6 025