Bananarama By wtfisthisworldcomingto - this FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff Today, I was mugged. The guy mugging me was eating a banana. FML agreeclassic 37 882 vote type 1 7 510 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had to give back the Christmas present to who I thought was my best friend. He asked me to be his girlfriend and I declined. Apparently, because I don’t feel the same way he does, I don’t deserve it. I was under the impression that he’d given me this present to be a friend, not to get in my pants. FML agreeclassic 557 vote type 1 207
Today, I was having birthday dinner with my girlfriend and her parents, when her Dad asked what I'd got her. She replied, "He said he was going to give me a Pearl Necklace when we get home." I realized then that my girlfriend did not know what I meant by 'Pearl Necklace.' FML agreeclassic 28 185 vote type 1 95 464
Today, after 6 years of marriage, my wife called me toxic and abusive. All because I asked her if she's going to find a job, as it's getting harder for me to take care of everything, and we need more money at the moment. She's been unemployed for almost two years already. FML agreeclassic 719 vote type 1 134
Today, a customer kept harassing me and threatening to sue me for all I'm worth because I wouldn't give her a free refill. Her reasoning was that it's "illegal" to deny people a free refill if there's still a little drink left in the cup. FML agreeclassic 49 234 vote type 1 3 895
Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML agreeclassic 48 021 vote type 1 4 368
Today, as a millennial, I had to explain to a baby boomer why he needs to use condoms when having sex with his 25-year-old girlfriend. FML agreeclassic 1 315 vote type 1 222
did he stab you with the banana?
That's important information. Tell the cops to search for banana breath.