Also great baby name suggestions

unloved - 22/01/2026 22:00

Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Thanks for the support

Anonymous - 01/03/2024 15:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I came home very tired from a bad day at work, and really just wanted to relax on the couch for a while. My cat jumped into my lap, wanting affection. I was petting him, thanking him for his emotional support. He reciprocated by noxiously farting in my face and running away. FML

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orely44 - 08/03/2013 14:13 - France - Rez

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction, and got off as fast as he got on. FML

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Jackson Galaxy wanabee

oh.geez - 05/02/2012 08:00 - United States

Today, my fiancé has decided to become my cat's personal trainer. This includes talking to the cat, attempting to motivate him to run up and down the stairs and telling the cat to call him "Coach Daddy". I now have a crazy fiancé and a very angry cat. FML

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Anonymous - 03/07/2019 06:00

Today, my cat still loves my boyfriend more than me. I spent around 6 months convincing my boyfriend to get a cat. FML

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Good boy

Anonymous - 06/04/2021 11:00 - Germany - Papenburg

Today, I realized my boyfriend rather qualifies as a pet: He loves eating, he hardly ever talks or listens, but he is cuddly, always enjoys having me around and can – within limits - be trained to do useful things. FML

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Anonymous - 19/06/2019 00:04

Today, for the third time, my boyfriend called his dog by my name. FML

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insert pussy pun, hurr durr - 29/06/2016 17:34 - United States - Hopkinsville

Today, my boyfriend got irrationally pissed at me because his cat decided to sit on my lap instead of his. FML

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Sorry Mr Whiskers

Anonymous - 22/05/2025 02:00 - United States

Today, to tease my cat for his naughty behavior and tendency to fart upon getting onto my lap, I tried to return the favor by farting on him while he was cleaning himself. It wasn't a fart. FML

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Heftychonker

Anonymous - 26/08/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's cat adores me. I can't sit down without her jumping on my lap and purring. The cat is also overweight, with very sharp claws, and likes to knead on my legs. My legs look like I lost a fight with a thorn bush. FML

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Take what you can get

Jack - 10/01/2016 02:07 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after dating my girlfriend for a while, I had a realization. She often says things like, "You're my favorite!" and scratches my beard, which I appreciated affectionately. Upon meeting her pets, it dawned on me that I am just another one of her cats. FML

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ahabsfan 15

Friday 23 January 2026 2:00

You do realize they don’t know what anything means, no matter what you call them.

DLBL 20

Friday 23 January 2026 14:28

Where's the LOL button?

ahabsfan 15

Friday 23 January 2026 2:00

You do realize they don’t know what anything means, no matter what you call them.

DLBL 20

Friday 23 January 2026 14:28

Where's the LOL button?

idragosani 15

Friday 23 January 2026 20:09

I thought everyone this kind of thing, dogs and cats

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my son waited until the night before he had a presentation on Arkansas due to tell me about it. We (meaning me, alone) stayed up until 3 am making a topographical map of the state out of plaster and drywall. At 8 a.m., a half hour after he got on the bus, I found it laying on his bed. FML

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Today, I orgasmed in front of someone for the first time. Too bad it was my dad who didn't knock before coming in. FML

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Today, the AC broke at work. I work in a hotel and every single guest asked me if I knew how hot it was in the lobby. It was 96 degrees for 7 hours. I definitely knew. FML

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Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

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Today, I've been an avid gym-goer since I was in high school. A year ago I convinced my girlfriend to start going to the gym with me and she had been sticking to it since. She has now has left me for a full-on fitness model she met there. He helped her start an online store, which is doing well. FML

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Today, while on the train with my dad, my boyfriend sent me a message. It was a nude, and when I looked, my dad saw. FML

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