After too many family dinners By Lewis - 28/12/2018 00:30 - France - Paris I'm not fat! Just well prepared for winter... I agree, your life sucks 280 You deserved it 136 Share Tweet Share
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML I agree, your life sucks 193 191 You deserved it 50 246
Today, I had to suspend a student. Apparently, someone convinced him that he turned invisible. He walked into the girls locker room thinking he could not be seen. I work at a high school. FML I agree, your life sucks 8 726 You deserved it 604
Today, I saw my ex, who had dumped me for not being “ambitious” enough. I'd said she was just a gold digger and would die alone. She looked amazing at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant in town, and was celebrating being made partner at her law firm. I was bussing tables. FML I agree, your life sucks 163 You deserved it 850
Today, my daughter tried to make pasta by putting a pot on the stove, pouring the noodles in without adding water, and turning on the stove. Then she asked me, "How come these aren’t getting soft like when you make them?" She’s 19. FML I agree, your life sucks 967 You deserved it 728
Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML I agree, your life sucks 33 779 You deserved it 6 728
Today, after the most stressful two weeks of my life, I finally found a few minutes to sit down with a relaxing cup of tea. I went to take a sip, sneezed, smashed the mug into my nose, and dumped scalding hot tea all over my face and cleavage. FML I agree, your life sucks 42 623 You deserved it 5 383