Intimacy: Absolute beginners

Absolute beginners

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 20:00 - Spain - Ripollet

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

agreeclassic 55 954

vote type 1 5 974

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Similar FMLs

By Anonymous - 24/08/2013 22:31 - Isle of Man - Douglas

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML

agreeclassic 59 310

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By Anonymous - 08/03/2011 07:17 - United States

Today, while having sex, I thought I was having an orgasm for the first time. Turns out I was just hyperventilating. FML

agreeclassic 42 342

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By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 01:47 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. He was so nervous, he broke down in tears after failing to unclasp my bra after multiple fumbling attempts. Mood? Ruined. FML

agreeclassic 36 785

vote type 1 6 007

By JoshuasGirl - 23/12/2013 19:13 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. After he'd repeatedly told me not to worry about bleeding, and reassuring me that he'd take care of me, he passed out halfway through. FML

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Romantic afterglow

By easyontheeyes1 - 01/05/2020 02:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Immediately after we'd finished, he said, "Get off, you're making it hard to breathe on top of me." FML

agreeclassic 1 790

vote type 1 497

By Anonymous - 21/08/2014 21:24 - Portugal - Alg

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to lose our virginity. When he saw blood, he panicked and started crying, convinced that he was bleeding out. FML

agreeclassic 54 841

vote type 1 6 742

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

agreeclassic 42 949

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By firsttimer69 - 20/03/2009 06:11 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex. I was a virgin and he wasn't. About 30 seconds in he collapsed on me. I thought he was joking around and I started laughing. He wasn't joking. He was done. FML

agreeclassic 151 779

vote type 1 15 201

Fond memories

By -_- - 13/08/2011 00:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my boyfriend for the first time. I went down on him, only for him to burst into tears halfway through. Apparently, I do it just like his long-lost teen sweetheart did. I swear I could feel him go completely limp in my mouth. FML

agreeclassic 45 897

vote type 1 4 649

What is it?

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 22:46 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, I had my first orgasm. He thought something was wrong, so he stopped. FML

agreeclassic 68 244

vote type 1 8 234

Welshite 39

Monday 14 July 2014 5:17

He was just so over-whelmed. I would take it as a compliment if I were you.

pjsr 32

Monday 14 July 2014 5:17

Aww - they took his breath away!

Comments

GingerRoot 13

Monday 14 July 2014 12:05

Sooo many guys get that way when they see boobs :p really they are just boobs!

PassiveAggresive 12

Monday 14 July 2014 12:31

I would take that as a compliment. He was overwhelmed and probably very excited.

sabine123_fml 5

Monday 14 July 2014 12:51

Wimp

Goblin182 26

Monday 14 July 2014 13:20

You must have one hell of a rack.

patient_zero 1

Monday 14 July 2014 13:42

That's awesome. I would take that as a compliment.

nomoreparty 11

Monday 14 July 2014 15:18

Time to play "pick-a-boob"

shinikageWolf 15

Monday 14 July 2014 16:56

That is your super power. "ASPHYXIATE THEM BREASTS!"

DylanHasClass 17

Monday 14 July 2014 17:11

Thats very overwhelming..

blue4d 5

Monday 14 July 2014 17:26

You life is definitely f'd...

Mauskau 35

Monday 14 July 2014 19:42

I hope he's seen you without a bra on before that, as it kinda helps if they've seen it before. Maybe?

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Top

Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML

agreeclassic 14 930

vote type 1 863

Today, after I moved across country to move in with my best friend, she decided to move in with her boyfriend a month into me being here. I don't know anyone here. She hasn't been home in 4 months and recently any time we've made plans, she stands me up. FML

agreeclassic 593

vote type 1 177

Today, I was supposed to be picked up by my date. I haven't got my license yet, so all my dates have to pick me up. He never showed. He also didn't bother to text or call that he wasn't coming. Neither did the five other dates I was supposed to have this summer. FML

agreeclassic 49 654

vote type 1 9 777

Today, I was watching Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody. I guess I was too much into the songs because I got heckled and kicked out of the theatre. Oh, and I got ice all over my jacket. It’s 37 degrees outside. FML

agreeclassic 177

vote type 1 1 177

Today, after having to spend over an hour yesterday giving the man I'm in love with advice on how to impress his date yesterday evening, I got to spend another hour listening to how great their sex was last night. FML

agreeclassic 29 477

vote type 1 8 142

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

agreeclassic 40 501

vote type 1 3 407