Your everyday life stories

RHChiliPeppers - 02/04/2016 02:55 - United States - Walpole

Today, while taking professional photos of the expensive exotic fish I was going to sell, my roommate jumped out at me as an April fools prank. I dropped my camera in the tank. The camera died instantly, as did my fish. FML

Who_Else_Its_Me - 02/04/2016 02:53 - United States - Arlington

Today, my girlfriend fake broke up with me for April fools, but as the day went on she thought about it and actually broke up with me.

L2Z_H2O - 02/04/2016 02:53 - United States - Cary

Today, I turned 16. Today I also lost a baby tooth. To make matters worse it was a top front tooth. On Monday when I go back to school I'm going to have to explain to everyone that, no, I didn't get in a fight or anything, it was just a baby tooth. This isn't even the last baby tooth. FML

balnuaimi - 02/04/2016 02:40 - United States - Grover Beach

Today, I read an article stating that Hillary Clinton was being indicted for war crimes and that she'd be dropping out of the 2016 presidential race. I was ready to celebrate, until the article ended with 'April Fools'. FML.

anon - 02/04/2016 02:38 - United States - Spring

Today, upon hearing I'm newly single, my dads friend invited me over to vent. When I got there, the guy was naked with a bottle of wine and a candle lit bubble bath was at the end of a trail of rose petals. I have known him since I was a toddler. And there are pictures of him holding me as a baby.

myspoon2313 - 02/04/2016 02:37 - United States - San Diego

Today I showed my mother a canary nest with four eggs, and she told me it would be better if I stopped peeking, because canaries would rather crack their eggs open then see them disturbed by humans. The next day, I opened my porch door, and find egg yolk spilling from the bottom of the nest. FML.

ImVeryKoalafied - 02/04/2016 02:35 - United States - La Verne

Today, as an April fools prank my fiance drew penises on my face in sharpie. I tried washing it off, but it's stained. We're going to a rehersal dinner at a very fancy restraunt, and due the red blotches and faded penises on my face they wont let me in. We pre-paid for the meal. I'm the bride.

XIceBlueX - 02/04/2016 02:10 - United States - Berwick

Today, my mom told me I had a week to get out of her house. I laughed because it was April Fools day. She wasn't kidding, and now I have to be out before Sunday. FML.

Anonymous - 02/04/2016 02:04 - United States - Irving

Today, I was shopping with my 11 year-old daughter. I noticed she was obsessing over a really cute t-shirt that I had bought for her in the previous store. Jokingly, I said that I might be borrowing it from her soon. Without batting an eye, she said that the problem would be fitting me in it. FML

Anonymous - 02/04/2016 02:04 - United States - San Clemente

Today my husband and I saw my father-in-law, a born again Christian, for the first time in several years. He was acting a bit odd but I didn't worry about it. Later I found out he believes I was sent by Satan to corrupt his son away from God. I'm Catholic. FML

Radi0activ3 - 02/04/2016 01:24 - Canada - Courtenay

Today, I failed a math test because I was drop dead exhausted. I was drop dead exhausted because I pulled an all nighter to study. I had to pull an all nighter because I was away the day the test was announced and nobody bothered to tell me despite me asking my teacher multiples times. FML

Lazy Boy - 02/04/2016 01:17 - United States - San Diego

Today I was having sex with this guy in my bed until by roommate came in. We decided to go into the bathroom and I was relieved I didn't have to be on top anymore. As I bent over the sink expecting him to go behind me, he sat down on the toilet seat, expecting me to sit on him instead. FML

heartbroken - 02/04/2016 01:15 - United States - Clover

Today, I spent hours setting up an elaborate "prank" that would end with me proposing to my girlfriend the next day. Not only did my brother ruin it by telling her, but she won't speak to me. FML

Anonymous - 02/04/2016 00:57

Today, after a crappy year of my house burning down, two concussions, identity fraud and finally being happy and healthy again, I got new neighbours. They're quiet during the day but start talking, walking around loudly and having sex at midnight every day. FML.

Anonymous - 02/04/2016 00:46 - United States

Today, after working weekends for the last year and a half, I finally have the weekend off to relax in front of a good movie. Too bad it just stormed and my electricity is off. FML.

GreenShelves - 02/04/2016 00:34 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, a sweet, innocent child brought me a Bible and asked me to write "God is Love" in Latin on his bookmark. The pen shocked me. No one can be trusted on April Fools! FML.

RoseLich - 02/04/2016 00:30 - United States - Youngstown

Today, right at the peak of orgasm, I opened my eyes to see my boyfriend's line of drool fall directly on my face. FML

Anonymous - 02/04/2016 00:23 - Germany - Titisee-neustadt

Today, the man I've been in love with for three years finally opened up to me about his feelings. He told me he was in love with a common friend of ours and they've been together secretly for over a year. FML

comeondude - 02/04/2016 00:14 - Canada - Granby

Today, my boyfriend's father walked by the living room and commented "shouldn't the man be holding the remote?" I was holding the remote, I am a woman, and I am planning to marry my boyfriend. I potentially have to deal with his sexist father for the rest of his existence. FML

Cruel Joke - 01/04/2016 23:51 - United States - Jamestown

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a funny April fools joke to give me a hand job using icy hot as lube. My dick is still on fire. FML

emiquick_01 - 01/04/2016 23:45 - United States - Boardman

Today, for a "clever" April fools day joke my parents told me I was adopted. They showed me the paper work and everything to show they weren't joking. FML

DJADHD - 01/04/2016 23:39 - United States - De Forest

Today, my boss came up and said I looked depressed. I am. Her idea of helping? Sending me to get drug tested. FML

Anonymous - 01/04/2016 23:37 - Korea, Republic of - Apo

Today, I was talking to my best friend, and told him about some guy in our school asking me out. My best friend then informed me that two days ago, the guy who asked me out had pestered my best friend about dating the ugliest girl in school. I'm the only girl my best friend has ever dated. FML

GreenShelves - 01/04/2016 23:34 - United States - Lynchburg

Today, I celebrated my birthday at work by getting my office furniture turned upside down, my stuff hidden/stolen, and a note stuck to my back. Gotta love being an April Fool. FML.

Anonymous - 01/04/2016 23:28

Today, my best friend played a crazy April fools prank on me by screwing my girlfriend FML

lostinOz - 01/04/2016 23:05 - Australia - Corinda

Today, I had my birthday party, I invited my closest friends, boyfriend and family. No one came except my two dogs. FML

crusadememes - 01/04/2016 22:46 - United States - Virginia Beach

Today, what I thought was going to be a little gas was 13 gallons of hot, liquid crap. My girlfriend and her friends were in the car. The nearest exit was 3 miles and there was rush hour traffic. FML

20agram - 01/04/2016 22:31 - United States - Mckeesport

Today, I had to take a shit at the gym. It wasn't until I came out of the stall and got strange looks from a bunch of girls that I realized I was in the wrong locker room fml

anonymous - 01/04/2016 22:30 - United States - Boston

Today,I walked inside the girls restroom at school and I saw this girl on her knees and you could hear "smack smack" and then I shouted "GET IT GIRL"and then I found out that that was my boyfriend in the stall.FML

theleftwing - 01/04/2016 22:29 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my office is full of extreme left wingers who all support Hilary. As an April Fools Day joke, I came to work decked in all Trump 2016 gear. I was harassed by my coworkers all day, then got fired, and when I got escorted out to my car, I found it completely vandalized. FML

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, after agreeing to marry my boyfriend, he started spouting crap about converting to his religion, and how I’d need to take lessons from his mother on how to be a proper wife to him at all times, like, EXCUSE ME, WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE TALKING TO? DUMPED. See ya later, douchebag. FML

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Today, I was kicked out of college for not attending a class I wasn't ever enrolled in. FML

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Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML

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Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML

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Today, I got pulled over for speeding. Knowing how much more it would cost in the long run, I handed the officer my license with $300 in cash, "as something to consider for just a warning." He came back with a ticket and verbally warned me that police bribery is a felony. He kept the money. FML

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Today, I asked my mother if we could test me for OCD, since so many people have suggested to me that I might have it. She smiles at me and says, "No, honey, you're just really really weird." FML

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