You're fired

Reefer madness

By Anonymous - 15/11/2021 13:59 - United Kingdom

Today, I told the coworker who sits next to me that I don't smoke weed anymore, after she brought a spliff to work. I then got called into the directors' boardroom to receive a warning for smelling like marijuana at work. I was only allowed one more warning before they were due to fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 207

Sir Alan no Sugar

By Anonymous - 21/03/2022 10:00 - Australia - Thirroul

Today, I realised the project I’ve been tirelessly working on for 6 months is actually going to cost the company $380,000. I thought the negative symbol was a saving, not a loss. I'm a senior analyst for the company, or at least… I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 1 290

The Hangover, part 26

By Fabuan - 24/01/2022 14:00

Today, while working from home, I was super drowsy after a heavy bar hangout with the boys. I took a call from a customer. Next thing I know, the call was no longer there. My boss called me to tell me they left a one-star review on our site, saying I fell asleep and snored mid-call. Yes, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 2 059

A stopped clock is right twice a day

By Anonymous - 16/03/2022 00:00

Today, my ex told my boss I’d been faking my negative Covid tests. A complete lie, but I had to take a test in front of my boss, just in case. It was positive. I have never faked a test and had no idea I was infected, but my boss fired me for faking tests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 404

You deserved it 170

Unfair!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2023 08:00 - France - Paris

Today, I was fired because of a "poorly executed" task. My boss claims that I just copypasted an existing document in a new file; I was instructed exactly to take the document and move its content to a new table without changing anything. It was discussed beforehand, but looks like his own messages are not a proof. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 102

Meanwhile, at Twitter HQ… (possibly)

By layoff administrator - 19/03/2023 02:00

Today, I found out I'm being laid off. Because I'm the only person at this company who knows how to process a layoff in our HR system, I get to have the pleasure of laying myself off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 028

You deserved it 82

Adding insult to injury

By lol - 23/07/2021 05:59

Today, my boss fired me. Then later on Facebook, his public status was, "Finally fired the sumo wrestler!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 085

You deserved it 105

How dare you?

By Needgasmoney - 16/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I got fired for “insubordination.” All I did was ask how my compensation would be adjusted due to my coworker quitting and having to do her job until her position is filled. I live in Florida, which is an “at will” employment state. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 89

Une rule for thee, none for me

By Anonymous - 13/06/2023 12:00

Today, I got fired for following my work directions. I found out when I tried to badge into work, and paid $40 for a ride home. There also was an argument with my supervisors because I actually follow the directions correctly and knew what they meant. I'm temp to hire so there's no recourse for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 769

You deserved it 131

Where d'you think you're going?

By Anonymous - 13/06/2019 03:00

Today, one of my employees was fired for refusing to do a basic job necessity. After the meeting with HR, he left the office and tried to go back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 736

You deserved it 174

Sleepless in Saskatoon

By inolongeriismmm - 04/11/2021 19:59 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, I was let go from a position that I spent 11 years pouring my heart into. I was fired for ranting in an group chat, after getting 37 minutes of sleep in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 949

You deserved it 497

By JONNO - 27/04/2019 14:00

Today, I got fired from my position as a financial investor for giving a client the exact investment he asked for, even though the investment was out of my mandate, and I had gone to my direct manager to authorize the investment. My manager was promoted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 360

You deserved it 184

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 639

You want conflict? I'll give you conflict!

By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to clock in at work, only to have the clock tell me I "wasn't scheduled", so I asked my boss what was going on. Turns out I was fired, and this was her way of avoiding conflict. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 970

You deserved it 2 989

Punctuality

By Broke - 17/05/2022 06:00

Today, I came into work to have my supervisor call me into her office, then her telling me to pack my things and get out. Apparently, just because they haven’t been saying anything about you being habitually late for work doesn’t mean that they don’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 237

You deserved it 3 379

Nice meeting you

By Anonymous - 04/12/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, my boss finally pronounced my name correctly. My name was then followed by the words, "You're fired." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 808

You deserved it 2 586

Risky business

By Anonymous - 28/02/2022 04:00

Today, after getting a new remote job and traveling to the Bahamas while working remote, without asking my employer, because I figured they wouldn't find out and I didn't want them to say no. IT ended up tracking my computer and telling HR I was overseas and I got fired after I returned from my trip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 2 402

The nerve of some people

By evecharneco - 25/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, it's been a few months since got fired from a job I'd spent two years at. Before getting fired, I trained the entire new staff, and to this day they still message me for help, even though I was fired months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 086

You deserved it 123

Brutal

By Bob - 26/07/2024 22:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I worked my job then went home to enjoy my weekend. An hour later, I was called and told I was fired, without any reason given. I can’t even empty my locker, as they'd said they would mail my things to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 517

You deserved it 74

Management balls-up

By lene - 11/03/2021 04:57

Today, I was fired for not completing the required computer training, which no one told me about. I was told that it's my responsibility to check it every week. It would have been nice if a single one of my supervisors had given me any indication whatsoever that this was the case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 272

You deserved it 162

Get out

By F.U. QFN - 28/03/2021 00:29

Today, I was given my marching orders because I corrected my supervisor on something he was actually doing wrong. It seems I deserve this for "not learning to obey my immediate superiors." FML

I agree, your life sucks 907

You deserved it 128

Unfair dismissal

By Anonymous - 05/11/2022 12:00 - Germany

Today, I got fired because I was “constantly sick”. Constantly in this case meaning: the one time the entire office had Covid, including myself, plus 4 single days in a whole year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 297

You deserved it 166

The line must go up

By Anonymous - 13/12/2024 12:00

Today, my boss sacked me because I only sold 3 cars last month. He made no allowance for the fact we’re in such a rural location we only had 3 customers actually walk in the door, and I sold a car to all 3 of them. That’s a 100% success rate. What else could I do, drag customers in? FML

I agree, your life sucks 728

You deserved it 81

Policy of truth

By Searsguy - 19/06/2022 14:00

Today, I got fired on my second day on the job. I'd said that I was the former manager of a Sears that had permanently closed. Thinking they wouldn’t call and verify since it was closed, I put it on my resume. Turns out one of my coworkers used to work there for 10 years and said he never heard of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 2 878

Random reasoning

By Anonymous - 06/11/2022 12:00

Today, my boss fired me, saying he’d had a lot of patience with me, but now the time had come to part. Funny, a few months ago he told me that he had to have a lot of patience with each of my coworkers when they started, but that I was the only one who grasped it all right from the start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 918

You deserved it 112

By jobless - 10/11/2009 19:16 - United States

Today, I got an invitation to the "Going away lunch" the company is throwing for me. I didn't know I was leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 737

You deserved it 1 997

Stop siding with Karens!

By jobless - 02/07/2021 11:00

Today, I'm a massage therapist, and a woman got on my table with a rash. When I informed her that I couldn't work on her because of the rash, and that it's illegal, she got mad, and started yelling at me. My boss came to find out what happened, took her side, and fired me. For following the law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 263

You deserved it 92

Strauss would've been proud

By Jobless - 26/03/2022 14:00

Today, at a company event, there was a break. The Blue Danube was playing. Bored, I absentmindedly start singing, “My butt is ugly” to the melody. I forgot that my mic was on and the whole auditorium heard. Not only was I sent home, but my boss wants to “discuss” it on Monday at the office. FML

I agree, your life sucks 286

You deserved it 1 176

Free healthcare for all

By Thegout69 - 28/07/2022 02:00

Today, I lost my job because I fell victim to an incredibly complex phone scam. The hackers didn't get anything, but now I don't know what's worse - I can't afford to feed my kids, or I can't afford my chemotherapy for my my terminal cancer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 203

You deserved it 216

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, my overly-clean mum decided to drop by and surprise me by cleaning my house while I was out jogging. She used half a bottle of bleach, and now it hurts to blink, let alone breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 170

You deserved it 2 875

Today, my best friend called me a moron for disputing her belief that Canada is in South America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 320

You deserved it 4 295

Today, my husband tried to annoy me by slurping on his almost-finished drink. I yelled at him to knock it off. Later, our daughter told her class that mommy and daddy had been fighting about his drinking during breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 556

You deserved it 6 582

Today, I realized that in French, my name means "penis." This wouldn't be so bad if my dad wasn't fluent in French. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 377

You deserved it 3 887

Today, while feeling sorry for myself that I can't find a guy, a girl on the talk show I was watching said, "You're never gonna find a guy sitting at home in your jammies with the cat." I'm sitting at home in my jammies with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 838

Today, I learned that my fiancée copied my house key early into our relationship. The reason being is that in case I were to catch her cheating, which I did, she could come in and trash my place when I called off the wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 520

You deserved it 148