Suspicious

By gnownayrgnow - 08/05/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, I decided to be extra nice to my girlfriend by washing all the dishes and folding all the clothes. She thought I was being "too nice" and hypothesized that I was cheating on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 914

You deserved it 5 694

Oddly suspicious

By Brittany - 17/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I began noticing a certain female name popping up on my husband’s social media notifications,so I asked him about it. He got irrationally upset at the fact that I pronounced her name wrong, told me she’s “nobody”, then said, “I hate it when you accuse me of shit!” I didn’t even accuse him of anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 94

No stars on Trip Advisor

By Anonymous - 02/03/2023 18:00 - United States - Ingleside

Today, I paid for my man to get a massage while we were on vacation. The hour passes and he wasn't answering his phone or texts. I go to the room and he’s just getting out of the shower. I come to find out she is high on ketamine, and he said they kissed. He still denies it. This is what I get for getting him a massage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 954

You deserved it 232

No good deed and all that

By Jimmy - 14/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 69

Deflexion

By Rach - 07/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I grabbed my husband’s phone to call my mom. The first thing I see is Google with searches like, “Hot young Latina singles dating” and a PornHub tab that had a “Petite Latina Teen” search. I’m white. When I asked my husband about it, he said his “buddy” hacked his internet, then angrily asked why I went through his phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 363

In the words of Shaggy...

By WasntMe - 28/05/2018 20:30

Today, my husband went through my phone and computer, accusing me of cheating. Baffled and hurt by the untrue accusation, I asked what he found that made him think that. He replied, "Nothing! Absolutely nothing!" Apparently, no evidence IS evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 056

You deserved it 249

Creeped out the full

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 00:00 - United States

Today, after my wife’s father made a very weird joke the other day, and it completely bothered me and caused my anxiety to skyrocket, I asked her about it. She told me not to worry and that it’s just a joke. I’ve always suspected he views his daughter, my wife, sexually. I don't know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 528

You deserved it 129

Evidence

By Lawyer time - 08/08/2023 16:00

Today, I found a receipt from a lingerie store for some nice garments. When I asked my wife about it, she stammered and said it was a birthday surprise, then got mad at me for ruining it. My birthday isn't for almost ten months and she hasn't been sexual with me for years, much less spontaneous. Nice try. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 259

You deserved it 169

Kinda sussy

By Rosebud - 07/08/2023 10:00 - United States - Flint

Today, I “caught” my partner looking at porn, again. I walked in on him with his cock out, looking at his phone. He jumped to put it away, except just like last time, I told him we could watch together, but he's “too ashamed” to even discuss it. At this point I’m pretty sure he’s just sexting someone else and doesn’t want to get caught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 655

You deserved it 190

Kinda sus

By anonymous - 31/08/2023 08:00

Today, my overly friendly bubbly classmate, who’s like a preschool teacher hopped up on Red Bull, texted me, “Hey honey buns! Wanna meet up early before class and get groovin?!” My husband saw it and insisted that it's code for cheating. I'm not sure how I can explain that she’s just weird and wants to study. FML

I agree, your life sucks 668

You deserved it 124

Kinda sussy

By LookingForAJob - 21/05/2022 18:00

Today, I slept through my alarm and got fired for being late for work. My husband had changed my alarm to go off at 8:00PM instead of 8:00AM all because apparently, I was suspected of “conspiracy to cheat” by liking a male friend’s selfie on Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 107

You deserved it 263

Sussy

By Anonymous - 11/09/2023 07:30

Today, on a whim, I bought my wife some flowers on my way home. She put them in a vase then asked me what stupid thing I did that I’m pre-apologising for. She refuses to believe I bought her flowers for any other reason. Man, I must be a really shitty husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 298

Occasional criminal

By Anonymous - 15/08/2023 16:00 - United States - Ashburn

Today, I put my travel cup of coffee on the shelf behind me while getting a haircut. When I left, I picked up my coffee and cell phone. A block later, the barber had chased me down to get his cell phone back. Yep, I had two phones in my pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 297

It'll be over soon

By fat girl problems - 19/06/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my soon-to-be-ex saw me cleaning my creases with a wash rag, even though I’d showered earlier. To him that’s proof that I'd fucked someone else and was wiping away the evidence. To me it’s proof that I need touch ups throughout the day so I don’t stink. I sweat profusely and it’s over 90°F. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 182

What are you hiding?

By Horny af - 05/10/2025 22:00

Today, after several grueling weeks at the gym, my moribund sex drive suddenly kicked into high gear. All I want is for my husband to fuck me senseless, but he's now convinced I'm just trying to butter him up before dropping a bombshell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 204

Sussy Baka

By Yasmine - 25/12/2021 02:01 - United States

Today, my husband and I went out to dinner. I caught him writing down his number for the waitress. When I confronted him, his response was, "What? I'm not allowed to have friends?" and threw a fit over my "irrational paranoia." I had to walk home in the cold, because he kicked me out of the car mid-argument. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 242

Too many JCS videos

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I discovered that when you buy ropes, duct tapes, a shovel, razor blades, a fire poker, and a carton of cigs, the police can turn up and search your house for 'prisoners'. Those items were actually coincidental. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 389

You deserved it 7 991

Do you guys even talk to one another?

By Anonymous - 14/08/2023 18:00

Today, my wife pretended she was going to suck my knob, but then bit it so hard she drew blood. Apparently, she saw the texts from my “girlfriend”. The texts were actually from our elderly neighbour, who asked me to feed her cat while she visited her daughter. She thought “feed my cat” meant "illicit sex." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 102

You deserved it 126

Life insurance?

By Rusty - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - New City

Today, I found out that my parents secretly throw away any food I cook for them, because they think I might try to poison them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 653

You deserved it 2 794

Kinda sus, huh?

By Derek - 25/09/2024 09:00 - United States - Fallbrook

Today, my best friend told me, "Dude, your girlfriend looks so much like this girl I went to high school with!" and showed me a picture of a girl with a string bikini in a semi-suggestive pose on the beach. I know what you're thinking, but it wasn't my girlfriend. He HAD to choose the skimpiest photo to compare to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336

You deserved it 149

Fishy

By Kristyn - 09/07/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I asked my husband for the 1000th time to stop texting a woman he used to be friends with in high school, with whom he recently reconnected, and that I’m feeling neglected in this marriage. He responded by saying, “Fine! I guess I can’t have any friends then!” and took a hammer to his phone, breaking it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545

You deserved it 382

Still a suspect

By UsernameNotFound404 - 01/04/2025 00:00 - Czechia

Today, I woke up, made breakfast for myself, and read all the notifications on my smartphone. The first one was about an accidental death at work, and that all maintenance workers are suspects. I work in maintenance, and it's not my section where the accident happened. RIP. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 60

McLovin

By Anonymous - 30/08/2022 22:00

Today, I was buying a specific expensive wine for my wife’s birthday, but the guy suspected I was buying it for some underage girl loitering outside, and threatened to call police. He’s a specialist wine merchant and the only guy I can buy that wine from in 100 miles. Her birthday is in two days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 141

This is fine

By Changing the locks tomorrow - 08/03/2023 06:00

Today, it’s almost half past midnight. I received a drunken voicemail from my husband saying that he won’t be coming home tonight because he’s too drunk to drive, but don’t worry, he’s staying at "Cindy’s house", safe and sound. Who's Cindy? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 137

By everybodysfool - 24/12/2009 01:02 - United States

Today, after having an amazing intimate encounter with my boyfriend of two years, I put on an old pair of boxers I still have from when I was heavier. He thinks I'm cheating on him and doesn't believe I used to be fat. Now he won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 140

You deserved it 4 300

Where's Shaggy when you need him?

By sickofthelies - 24/05/2023 06:00

Today, I'm pretty sure my husband of 8 years is sleeping with the skank who's in the fire department with him. Out of nowhere, he started texting her and wouldn’t come home until 12:30 a.m. for a whole week. When I confronted him about it, he flipped out. Sadly, it won’t be the first marriage she’s ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 298

You deserved it 200

By anon - 11/11/2015 03:28 - United Kingdom - London

Today, a notification from Tinder popped up on my girlfriend's phone, saying, "Congratulations, you have a new match." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 811

You deserved it 2 376

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 26/07/2022 02:00

Today, I told my husband we could have a "him" day, visit the comic book and games stores, then watch anime. He refused to believe I was genuine, and asked what bad thing I did that I was trying to make up for. We ended up not doing any of it because he thinks I can’t be nice to him without a motive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 092

You deserved it 810

By Anonymous - 14/04/2015 07:21 - United Kingdom - Nottingham

Today, my husband of 3 weeks told me he doesn't want to be married anymore because I suggested getting a joint bank account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 851

You deserved it 4 455

That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore

By JustAJokeMan - 03/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I realized how visibly upset my boyfriend got whenever a certain female friend leaves. When my other friend and I teased him about secretly being in love with her, he completely lost it. He threw a temper tantrum, spilled milkshake all over the floor, and stormed out of the mall. It was just a joke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 010

You deserved it 243

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The Top

Today, I was walking to the bus stop. I saw a chunk of ice and attempted to kick it. Sadly it was frozen to the ground, so I fell, broke my toe, and missed the bus. Even the bus driver was laughing as he drove by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 673

You deserved it 30 007

Today, we'd booked a spot for 20 people for my grandma's birthday. Turns out the reservation didn't go through. Now 20 people are waiting inside and outside for a group of old people to finish eating. They just barely got their food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 793

You deserved it 580

Today, I went to a really hot chick I’ve known for years's house, because she said her soon to be ex-husband had gone on a business trip for work. While I was sitting in the house with a ton of cologne on and a fresh shave, the husband walked in, looked at me, and said, "What’s up?" Guess I'm not getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 632

Today, my husband got upset that I'm not willing to explore weird kinks with him. I had a wild phase when I was younger, and he didn't, so he thinks it's unfair that I got to experiment and he didn't. Sorry you don't know what you like, but I'm not your sex toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 772

Today, it's my 23rd birthday. My family - parents, siblings, and two cousins - asked to visit to help me celebrate. I agreed and spent some time cleaning my place up some. The catch: I relaxed a bit and did it while nude. It felt so nice, I forgot I was nude, so when they came at noon… well, it wasn't the birthday suit I'd hoped they'd see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 491

Today, after spending two hours baking cookies for my niece's school's fundraiser, I packed them into a container and drove to the school. When I got there, the teacher looked confused and said the fundraiser was next Saturday. By the time the actual date arrived, every cookie had been eaten by my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 146

You deserved it 309