Parents

Generic Happy Birthday gif

By Anonymous - 26/06/2021 14:15 - United States

Today, I'm still trying not to cry. Yesterday was by birthday. I got an email from my dad with three words, "Happy Birthday (nickname)". I got a Facebook post from my mother. No card. No phone call. No gift. I have become nothing more than a Facebook friend to my parents. FML

agreeclassic 1 663

vote type 1 245

Buzzkill

By ouch - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Nashville

Today, for the fifth time since my parents got divorced, my father has decided he doesn't want to pick me up for his weekend because I'm "too responsible to have fun with." FML

agreeclassic 45 642

vote type 1 6 190

Permission denied

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 01:12 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

agreeclassic 32 028

vote type 1 2 668

Tracking

By Anonymous - 11/07/2023 17:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML

agreeclassic 1 116

vote type 1 125

No reply

By Alex - 06/02/2024 06:00 - United States - Jeffersonville

Today, my mom didn’t answer the phone when I called. My husband promptly said, with a straight face, “Would you answer you?” FML

agreeclassic 453

vote type 1 162

Weird reason, but OK

By Ellwood - this FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mother met my sister's boyfriend for the first time. As we talked about it later over dinner, she said she didn't like him. When I asked why, she paused for a second and said, "Well, he really reminds me of you." FML

agreeclassic 43 654

vote type 1 3 501

Harsh words

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 13:00 - United States

Today, I told my mom that I think I’m anorexic and she told me she didn’t care. When I asked why, in disbelief she replied, "Honey, you are 5’3 and over 350 lbs, at this point you NEED to be anorexic." FML

agreeclassic 251

vote type 1 867

I don't want to fade out

By Anonymous - 10/05/2024 13:00

Today, my dad died recently and as I was going through photos of his bucket list trip to Paris, I realised I’m not in a single damn one of the photos. Why? Because during all the big photo moments, I was the stupid bastard taking the pictures. Now I have no photos of us together on his last trip. FML

agreeclassic 556

vote type 1 135

She'll get over it, one day, maybe

By InkedGirl - 14/01/2022 01:59

Today, is the day I got my first tattoo. It's also the day where my mom screamed at me, gave me the silent treatment, and kicked me out of the house. Apparently I’m not considered her daughter anymore, because my skin is “damaged” now. I don’t have other family anywhere, and I have nowhere to go. FML

agreeclassic 1 434

vote type 1 580

Love is sometimes just love

By Anonymous - 22/07/2024 05:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I was looking for proof that my dad’s much younger girlfriend is just a dumb gold digging slut looking for a payday. Turns out she has a PhD, owns her own home, and makes six figures. So what’s she doing with his old ass? FML

agreeclassic 83

vote type 1 929

Just the tip

By Anonymous - 15/06/2023 22:00

Today, my mother is mad at me because I dared, yes DARED, to go out with a girl who stands up to her instead of just meekly doing what she tells her. Which should tell you exactly what sort of woman my mother is, so you know this FML is just the tip of my lifelong misery iceberg. FML

agreeclassic 921

vote type 1 150

Thanks, I feel better!

By Neal - 10/08/2022 13:00 - United States - Northport

Today, my dad told me, in the form of a soliloquy, to have a better attitude about death and dying. I have terminal cancer. FML

agreeclassic 1 311

vote type 1 110

Coinkydink? I think not

By Anonymous - 23/08/2023 20:00

Today, my husband and I ran into his high school girlfriend at the mall. We were catching up and my husband told her that we have a daughter. She asked what our daughter's name, but my husband hesitated and tried to change the subject, so I told her it was Juniper. That was her name. FML

agreeclassic 1 070

vote type 1 139

Traditions suck

By Anonymous - 19/05/2022 02:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm 21 and my parents expect me to get married before moving in with my boyfriend. We want to move overseas for our careers before marrying, but my parents think that “if that’s how things are going to be, then it’s best you break up. You need to uphold to our traditions.” I don't know what to do. FML

agreeclassic 986

vote type 1 241

Unsolicited dick texts

By jaderie - this FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Australia - Sydney

Today, my mum bought a phone. Since teaching her how to text, I have received 27 messages, repeatedly saying the word "penis". FML

agreeclassic 27 792

vote type 1 4 814

Blackout drunk

By MagnusDeus - 07/06/2015 15:46 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I left a concert with my drunk mother who had spilled beer all over my shirt. I drove her home and she slept it off. Later, my mom "found" my shirt in the laundry and grounded me for drinking behind her back. She won't believe me that it was her. FML

agreeclassic 27 869

vote type 1 1 781

The mask slips

By Anonymous - 23/12/2022 12:00

Today, my boyfriend is always telling me I haven’t met his real mother yet, even though I’ve known her a year. However, when I happened to disagree with her today, she started screaming and hitting like a psycho. He had to wrestle her out the door. I get it now; I’ve now met his “real” mother. FML

agreeclassic 1 228

vote type 1 145

What's YOUR resolution?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made the New Year’s resolution that he’d try to get on better with my boyfriend. We’re less than 24 hours into the 1st of January and he’s already chased him around the garden trying to brain him with a meat tenderiser. Business as usual then. FML

agreeclassic 500

vote type 1 165

Absentee parents

By Anonymous - 07/02/2022 18:01 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I have to start completely over on my degree and life, because I was so busy raising my sister that I never got to plan my career out. FML

agreeclassic 939

vote type 1 156

Non-starter pack

By Anonymous - 05/08/2024 17:00 - United States - Huxley

Today, I'm in love with my best friend. We are intimate but live 24 hours away from one another. We had been discussing him moving closer to me, which was a recent turn of events and I was elated. We could finally be together… until some unexpected tragic news uncovered a kid he wasn't aware of. Now he's a single dad and staying put. FML

agreeclassic 477

vote type 1 132

Casual patriarchy

By Anonymous - 31/12/2022 18:00

Today, my husband more or less said to our daughter, "I just met an old friend, he has a son you should marry because my old friend is really rich.” It’s been an hour and he’s cowering in his chair because our daughter is still yelling at him, and it serves him right, but now I have a headache from the noise. FML

agreeclassic 1 022

vote type 1 263

She'll calm down

By Anonymous - 02/07/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally stood up to my mom and told her that as an introvert I desperately need some time alone to just recover. She, being the bitch queen of the extroverts, translated this in her head to, “I hate this family”, so she screamed at me, called me ungrateful, and made me homeless. FML

agreeclassic 579

vote type 1 145

Unreasonable

By Anonymous - 20/12/2021 22:58

Today, on my 21st birthday, my dad handed me £12,000 and revealed he’d been saving my rent. When I asked what for, he told me it was to rent my first house because now I’m 21, he’s throwing my ass out. Neither me or nor my mom could talk him round, and unless I’m out by next week, he’ll start smashing my possessions. FML

agreeclassic 1 555

vote type 1 405

Parental disapproval

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 16:00

Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML

agreeclassic 511

vote type 1 80

Snark

By Anonymous - 28/02/2013 22:33 - United Kingdom - Newtownards

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

agreeclassic 32 796

vote type 1 3 692

Too late to take it back

By Anonymous - 16/06/2025 16:00 - Canada - King City

Today, I texted my cousin to ask if he and his wife got the baby onesie I sent, as they are expecting their first child together. Turns out they got it, but it upset his wife as she had recently lost the baby. No one had told me before. FML

agreeclassic 562

vote type 1 72

Addictions kill

By Anonymous - 04/02/2022 05:00 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, my mom fell and hit her head on our coffee table when walking inside. She tripped on a 1 cm gate rail. She split her head open and there was so much blood. This is the third bad fall in 2 weeks. She still smokes, despite having COPD, and the ER doctor telling her smoking is depriving her brain of oxygen. FML

agreeclassic 1 081

vote type 1 118

Let me be

By I can't move out because of this economy - 04/07/2024 03:00 - United States

Today, as usual, my parents hate to see me relax. Every time I'm not working, doing a sport, or doing chores, I must be working on some form of education to keep them at bay. Today, I had the day off and caught up on schoolwork. My parents woke me up at 6 AM by running the vacuum outside my door. "Go mow the lawn, you slob." FML

agreeclassic 568

vote type 1 66

Emotional support

By A very comforting thought indeed - 09/04/2024 05:00 - United States

Today, it occurred to me just how dependent I am on my parents, and that I would be totally fucked if something happened to them. The state of the world right now makes it impossible for young people to get anywhere. Especially one who can't drive and can barely talk to anyone without having a panic attack. AKA: Me. FML

agreeclassic 339

vote type 1 564

Your fault!

By Anonymous - 11/08/2011 06:04 - Canada

Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML

agreeclassic 32 578

vote type 1 4 141

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML

agreeclassic 11 018

vote type 1 49 599

Today, I got a secondhand message from my mother to not jerk off so much. I know it’s secondhand because my wife says the same thing. They’re in cahoots and lie to one another: mom just wants grandkids, and my wife doesn’t want a smile on my face she didn’t put there. FML

agreeclassic 1 167

vote type 1 533

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

agreeclassic 481

vote type 1 127

Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML

agreeclassic 51 200

vote type 1 4 026

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

agreeclassic 38 417

vote type 1 14 066

Today, after I spent a weekend at my boyfriend’s house, I came home to find the locks changed. My parents decided to change them because they “don’t need me slutting around under their roof.” My boyfriend lives 4 hours away and I have nothing but an overnight bag. FML

agreeclassic 555

vote type 1 167