Cover up By this_is_fucked - 24/10/2009 21:23 - Zimbabwe Today, I realized that I'm the only person in my house not getting any. My sister is sleeping with my ex. My roommate is sleeping with my brother, and my mom texted me, asking to make it look like she slept in her bed so that she didn't have to do the "walk of shame" in the morning. FML I agree, your life sucks 24 546 You deserved it 2 928 Share Tweet Share
Today, my girlfriend asked me not to love her so much, so she doesn't have to try so hard to match my love for her. What the fuck? FML I agree, your life sucks 32 377 You deserved it 9 300
Today, I have horrible morning sickness. I was helping my daughter fingerpaint, when suddenly the smell of the paint set my stomach off. I threw up all over myself and her painting. FML I agree, your life sucks 32 895 You deserved it 4 296
Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML I agree, your life sucks 27 514 You deserved it 2 297
Today, my mother, who insists on sticking her nose into every aspect of my life, found out I'm only "middle management" and called my boss to criticize her for undervaluing me, demanding I be promoted immediately. I'm now the laughing stock of my office. FML I agree, your life sucks 5 420 You deserved it 550
Today, I was about to have sex with my long-term boyfriend, when it started to rain. He was so interested in the storm that he left me half naked to look outside. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 175 You deserved it 269
Today, we had cabbage. A lot of cabbage. The farts are so horrid I can barely stand myself. FML I agree, your life sucks 670 You deserved it 282