Death

Horndog

By Anonymous - 25/04/2021 08:01

Today, despite giving my sister a place to stay while she's in town for a funeral, she demanded I give a bedroom to her son to have to himself, because, "How am I supposed to have 'sexy time' with my husband with him in the room?" Everyone's sharing rooms, and no one's getting sexy time as someone literally died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 674

You deserved it 123

Compassion

By Anonymous - 14/07/2022 00:00

Today, we recently had to unplug our mom from life support. We decided it together as a family, but as her medical proxy, I was the one who had to tell the hospital to do it. Now half my family members don’t talk to me, like I decided all on my own to kill her behind their backs. I want my mom back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 014

You deserved it 106

Bigmouth strikes again and again

By O Boy - 28/04/2022 06:00 - United States - Pleasantville

Today, my coworker left a tiny mess in the break room. I cleaned it up and jokingly said, "Your mother isn't here to clean up after you." She started crying. I forgot her mom died last week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 1 306

Dog's dinner

By Bad Pet Sitter - 27/09/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my brother asked me to watch his dog while he's on a business trip. I let his dog out to do his business, and he ran right in front of a pickup. The driver didn't stop in time, and crushed the dog's head. I went to check on him. He's dead, and I will be too when my brother gets back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 887

Middle ground

By Anonymous - 05/03/2025 15:00 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, after my wife and mother in law criticized me for being glued to my phone, I set out to prove them wrong by being away from it. When I finally opened it, my family was upset because my grandma died and they had been trying to reach me for several hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 121

Monday morning

By Exil - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had to call patients that we hadn't seen in a long time. Most of them were dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 178

You deserved it 2 039

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 23/05/2021 08:01 - Norway - Trondheim

Today, I just came out of a two-year long depression. I'm finally starting to feel normal, so of course I get a message that my grandmother might have less than a year to live. FML

I agree, your life sucks 985

You deserved it 107

Family secret

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 22:00

Today, after my grandad died suddenly last week, we were cleaning out his house and found a full on sex dungeon, with pictures of him and nana going back 50 years. My siblings are all chicken shits, so I have to deal with that room by myself. Rubber gloves and a therapist required please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 527

You deserved it 817

Morrissey, circa 1986

By Super Soaker - 09/09/2022 10:30 - United States

Today, I learned the news about Queen Elizabeth in the most awkward way possible. My friend suddenly came into my house and shouted, "THE QUEEN IS DEAD!" It scared me so badly that I spit my drink out all over his clothes. Then I took another drink and spit it out again when I realized who he was referring to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 505

Fuel to the fire

By Why? - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Saint Charles

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up by saying, "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 300

You deserved it 2 093

Very mean spirited

By Anonymous - 18/09/2022 23:00

Today, my dad's will included a DNA test he did on me when I was 3, proving I’m not his son. I thought we had a great relationship, but apparently he secretly hated me all these years for mom cheating, and decided to embarrass me in front of our family, half of whom it turns out I’m not related to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 614

You deserved it 113

Tactful

By petlover - 23/11/2009 04:30 - United States

Today, I had to put my 17 year-old cat down. I cried the whole way up to the vet's office and back. After finally coming to terms with the situation, and trying to forget, my dad's friend walks up to me and says, "So, I heard you killed your cat?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 251

You deserved it 3 876

Over the rainbow bridge

By Memelord - 18/03/2022 10:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my friend informed me that his dog died. Hoping to cheer him up, I sent him a random meme. My dumb ass mistakenly sent him a meme about dead dogs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 1 596

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated

By Ghost - 14/12/2009 21:21 - United States

Today, I was at my 10-year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screamed when she saw me. Then she started hitting me, looking panicked. I calmed her down and asked why she hit me. She says, "Everyone thought you were dead"' FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 872

You deserved it 2 816

Rage against the machine

By argument invalid? - 27/02/2019 16:00

Today, I got written up and may be placed under suspension due to my recent 5 consecutive day unscheduled absence. When I told them I was on a Bereavement Leave, they still will not accept my excuse because its still considered as "unscheduled". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 331

You deserved it 203

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 582

You deserved it 2 806

Not now!

By Anonymous - 29/12/2021 02:01

Today, on my long-awaited vacation, I got a phone call from my sister. Her childhood friend died. She bawled on the phone, and my plans were ruined. My husband said it was selfish of her to do such a thing when she knew we were on vacation, so she ramped up the drama times ten. She and her friend used to bully me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 390

RIP

By widow - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I received two cards in the mail for my late husband for his birthday. He has been dead for four years now, and the cards were from our two children, who live several states away. This is the fourth time it's happened, and neither of them answer my calls. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 978

You deserved it 3 928

Sorry for your loss

By TooReal - 25/04/2025 00:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, my mother messaged me via Facebook me to say that my father had died. They knew since the start of the year but didn't bother to tell me. I live 10 minutes from the hospital he was in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 516

You deserved it 101

Priorities

By Anonymous - 10/04/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, when she found out my mother died, my ever empathetic wife said, “Tell them not to have the funeral on Friday. I have a hair appointment.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 87

Blue Christmas

By Anonymous - 12/12/2023 06:00 - Canada - Sidney

Today, and as of late, I have been struggling with the fact my child passed away. I guess that's considered weak, well according to the child's father it is, which is news to me. I thought it was a pretty normal reaction, but I guess not. Merry Christmas to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 132

The future is bleak

By Anonymous - 12/03/2022 10:00

Today, I just bought my own house after divorcing my wife of 30 years. We'd been childless by her choice, and as I stood in my new living room, looking at the emptiness, I couldn’t help the feeling I just bought a 2-storey, £125,000 coffin that I’ll one day die alone and be buried in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 127

You deserved it 328

Late for his own funeral

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 06:00 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. As we were in the cars behind the hearse, I lost sight of it in traffic, ended up taking a wrong turn, and getting lost… As did half the cars behind me, who also didn’t know where the crematorium was, and just kept following me. We delayed the funeral quite a bit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466

You deserved it 172

It's all too much

By Anonymous - 10/01/2022 02:01 - United States - Steele

Today, I took a day off from work for a doctor's appointment. It ended up taking a lot longer than I expected, because while I was on my way, my mom called to inform me that my great aunt passed away this morning. As a result, I showed up extremely late and was berated. And the worst part? It's my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 177

We all grieve in our own ways

By clearkim - 08/04/2021 17:00

Today, it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. My stepmom decided that since I’m not unusually sad or crying, it must mean I didn’t care that my own mom is dead, and am therefore a psychopath. Anniversaries mean nothing to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 070

You deserved it 110

Sorry Mr Nibbles

By JustMyLuck - 06/09/2009 01:31 - United States

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. We were all standing in the kitchen when suddenly a small white and brown mouse ran by. Out of natural instinct, I stomped on it. Turns out, it was his little sister's pet mouse that had gotten out of its cage earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 016

You deserved it 52 282

Breaking news, sort of

By Anonymous - 22/07/2023 22:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, my sister told me our mother had died… via email. I didn't see it for nearly 12 hours. She has my phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 969

You deserved it 92

RIP x 2

By Anonymous - 15/07/2021 06:54

Today, my mother-in-law passed away. She wasn’t even cold yet when my wife told me she wanted a divorce. Apparently, only her mother guilt-tripping her kept us together the last few years, but now she’s dead, she’s dumping my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 496

You deserved it 183

Keep it to yourself

By Anonymous - 11/03/2022 00:01

Today, my family is still telling me to "get over" the death of my great aunt. The great aunt who always gave the most wonderful birthday gifts, and was overall one of the most pleasant people I've ever met, and I'm NOT allowed to be sad that she's gone. Did I mention she died on my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 139

Compassionate

By Anonymous - 30/05/2021 14:01

Today, my mom died of COVID. As I was crying in her hospital room, my husband asked if it was OK for him to leave to take a business call, and our daughter asked if she could leave because she was bored and wanted to meet her boyfriend at a bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 755

You deserved it 154

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Dogs Death Animals Health Miscellaneous Disappointment Embarrassing Healthy Lifestyle Dad jokes Coworkers NSFW Work Friends Love Weird Awkward Pranks Cute Cheating Sex Pregnancy Intimacy Neighbours Poopoo peepee Relationship advice I need your advice Relatable Heartbreak Holidays Vacation

The Top

Today, I started my new job as a mail carrier. One of my assigned roads was Milbrooke Street, which I'd never heard of. After driving around for ages trying to find it, I called for directions. The street doesn't exist in my city; it's just the boss's way of seeing how stupid you are. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 228

You deserved it 8 403

Today, I started my job as a waiter. I was excited when my first customer paid for the bill. I go over to the table, half-expecting a tip. I got to the table and no money was on the table. On the bottom receipt was written: "Ever heard of deodorant?" Apparently I smell bad. Thanks for the tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 232

You deserved it 29 560

Today, my aunt who has never had children lectured me on how childbirth isn't painful. I am pregnant with my second. I think I've got the gist of how it feels, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 618

You deserved it 178

Today, I went to the bathroom after a terrible job interview. My interviewer walked in with another guy, talking about my interview, saying he was obviously going to hire the other guy because my odd-sounding name was too hard to pronounce, yet alone spell in multiple emails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 584

You deserved it 174

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on Bumble. He spent the entire time talking about his pet tarantula and showing me pictures of it, all while I made 'ooh' and 'aah' noises, as if the guy was a child showing me his kindergarten drawings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 263

Today, I found out that my kids hate and are actively ignoring me; my wife is bipolar and she swears she hates me too after over 20 years of marriage, and my job sucks the life out of me every single day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 157