Bikes

Wet helmet

By RyanSmithN - 15/01/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I used a public bathroom and set my motorcycle helmet on the sink while I used the urinal. The helmet rolled into the sink, under the faucet and set off the motion detector, soaking the inside. I drove 15 miles home in 30 degree weather with a wet helmet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 302

You deserved it 9 233

Bike lock from Wish dot com

By Polly Molly - 03/03/2025 00:00 - Russia - Tula

Today, I rode my brand new shiny bicycle to work for the first time. I didn’t have time to figure out how my new lock worked, so I changed the 0000 code to some combination just to find it locked as I came back. After watching a tutorial and trying for 30 minutes, I just cracked it with pliers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 508

Wigging out

By Stacey Halvorson - 19/07/2021 04:01

Today, I was riding my bike on a sunny but windy afternoon. Coming up to an intersection, the wind switched directions and my wig blew off and landed in the middle of the road. At this point, I was almost at the other side but I had to turn around and grab my hair before the light turned green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 952

You deserved it 341

Mad Maxine

By faza4327 - 06/04/2011 07:43 - Australia

Today, I was on my way home on my bike when a lady in a 4WD cut me off while beeping her horn and calling me a "stupid f**ker who should get a proper education." In her car, she was smoking, and her three children weren't wearing seat belts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 503

You deserved it 3 556

Sneaky

By Isoldael - 07/11/2011 09:38 - Netherlands

Today, I caught three kids setting fire to a bush. After chasing them off, I parked my bike by a house and went to get water. After I'd put the fire out, I walked back to my bike just in time to see the kids running off with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 120

You deserved it 5 113

Asshat parking technique

By MadMax - 26/06/2013 20:49 - United States - Nashua

Today, I rode my motorcycle to an appointment and parked in the parking garage. When I got out, some ass had pushed my bike from the spot and had boxed it in between the wall and his car. Apparently, he felt he deserved the spot more than me and didn't care if I wanted to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 547

You deserved it 3 913

Gang violence

By fattysonparade - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I cycled past a group of middle school kids. They decided that they should all start shouting "FAT ALERT" while ringing the bells on their bikes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 584

You deserved it 7 121

Nice "friend" you've got there

By jwhizzle - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I found my "lost" bicycle in my best friend's garage. I've been having to catch two buses to get to work for the past few months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 712

You deserved it 3 099

Hey!

By Richocet - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was walking home from piano lessons when I saw my dad on a bike, so I shouted after him. He turned his head around and then ran into a tree. It wasn't my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 356

You deserved it 36 649

Out of control

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I'm sitting in the ER with my boyfriend because he decided to run over my foot with his new fancy bike. I think my foot's broken. We can't afford the bike, much less the ER bill with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 73

BIKES!

By woxliuke - 05/05/2016 18:44 - Lithuania - Vilnius

Today, my boyfriend and I went for a ride on bicycles. After a while, I couldn't see him ahead of me any more. I went back and forth for half an hour but could't find him, and started to think something happened. I went home to call him but saw his bike. Turns out my boyfriend is just an asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 324

You deserved it 1 590

I want to ride my bicycle

By Anonymous - 06/09/2021 17:01

Today, I went to the drugstore on my bike. The chain came off, the pedal punctured the top of my foot and I was bleeding a lot. To add insult to injury, the ATM inside was broken. I got gauze instead of the cash I came for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 917

You deserved it 99

Shite day

By Anonymous - 26/06/2023 10:00 - Pakistan - Gujranwala

Today, while coming home from school on my bike, I lost control of it, and went straight into a light pole. Thankfully I was at a very low speed. After that, someone splashed puddle of water at me with their car. After getting to home, I went to take a bath during which the shampoo went into my left eye. It's still hurting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 157

Cyclist's drip

By buyouyou - 28/08/2021 06:01 - China - Beijing

Today, I cycled to the office in my new uniform pants. When I arrived an hour later, my sweat had already soaked through them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384

You deserved it 876

Flailing

By Anonymous - 04/05/2024 16:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I tried to be eco-friendly and ride my bike to work for the first time. I made it approximately three minutes before getting my shoelace caught in the gears, sending me crashing to the ground in a spectacular display of uncoordination. Now I have a sprained ankle and a newfound appreciation for cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 336

Wee woo wee woo

By joshualover - 23/09/2010 02:29 - United States

Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 532

You deserved it 28 369

Stay at home weather

By Anonymous - 24/01/2024 12:00 - Germany

Today, I slipped and fell on a sudden patch of ice, on a road that had been completely fine until then, so I decided to push my bike past the icy patch before getting back on. Little did I know, the ice continued for the entire rest of the road, which was another 3km. FML

I agree, your life sucks 456

You deserved it 143

Careless and carefree

By Anonymous - 12/08/2022 06:00 - Romania

Today, when I crossed the street, I almost died because of a careless driver, but when I crossed it again on my way back, I got hit by a bicycle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 715

You deserved it 306

BIKES

By Anonymous - 14/04/2022 06:00 - Germany - Neusalza-spremberg

Today, my bike is freshly back from a costly repair, so naturally this means that the slight rasping of the chain that used to bug me has now turned into a situation where one third of the gears can only be used with the aid of a screw driver, which I now carry with me on every ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 853

You deserved it 155

DIY FML

By Anonymous - 03/05/2021 02:02

Today, after spending hundreds of dollars on parts and tools, and hours of research to teach myself how to perform the work, I upgraded my bike. It was also today that I made it 4 blocks from my house on my first ride before I hit a curb and broke my collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 177

By NoBikesForYou - 26/09/2013 22:56 - Israel - Ramla

Today, I was showing my 6-year-old son how easy and safe it is to ride a bike. I didn't notice a pebble, bust up my leg, and my son is now terrified of bicycles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 105

You deserved it 6 155

Leave me out of this

By hahahah111 - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom was driving me somewhere. As we were driving, she got mad at a motorcycle driver telling to "get the fuck off the road." In response, the driver spat into my open window. His spit landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 230

You deserved it 4 390

Weather report

By Anonymous - 15/08/2021 02:01

Today, the weather forecast said it would be nice all day, with only a tiny shower in the afternoon, so I went on a 50 km bike ride to enjoy the summer. In reality, it rained pretty much all day, with a little bit of sunshine occasionally in between. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 201

Teaching moment

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 09:00 - Canada - Vernon

Today, I tried to show my little cousin how to ride a bike without training wheels. Not only did I crash into a bush, but the handlebars hit me in the nuts, and I ended up rolling around like a Labrador in shit in front of the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 139

You deserved it 383

Rekt

By Shaun - 16/06/2009 02:13 - United States

Today, I rode my bike to work. While biking on the road, I gave a hand signal for turning left. A car passing the opposite way veered towards me and attempted to give me a high five. I now have cuts all over my body and my bike is in two pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 393

You deserved it 6 176

Quick buck

By Anonymous - 21/01/2022 20:01

Today, my husband sold a bunch of stuff from our garage to buy himself the latest Xbox. Unfortunately, the clown also sold the bicycle I don’t ride anymore. It was my nana’s vintage bicycle, with original wicker basket, worth several thousand to collectors. He accepted £80 for it on Facebook Marketplace. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 633

You deserved it 241

Nope, no way

By fiat850 - 13/05/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I agreed to go on a bike ride with my boss, even though I think he's crazy. We rode for a few miles, then he decided it was time to merge onto the freeway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493

You deserved it 111

By Tequila - 20/06/2011 16:12 - Netherlands

Today, my bike abruptly stopped working, torpedoing me headfirst into the sidewalk. I lay there in agony for a few minutes, and the only guy who saw it happen said, "Lucky you didn't get hurt!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 609

You deserved it 3 219

Discipline

By Anonymous - 11/05/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, our Scout troop was scheduled to do the Cycling Merit Badge. Midway through, it began to rain so hard that I couldn't see the road, and ended up in a ditch. Rather than make sure I was okay, as I was covered in mud and blood, my dad the Scoutmaster decided to scream at me for holding everyone else up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 107

Seasonal allergies

By Anonymous - 18/07/2021 06:01

Today, I sneezed inside my helmet when I was driving 90 mph on my motorbike. No quick solutions were available to improve visibility. FML

I agree, your life sucks 913

You deserved it 280

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The Top

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 064

You deserved it 4 740

Today, my boss chewed me out for correcting several spelling and grammar mistakes in one of his reports. The words "Think you're so damn smart, don't ya?" were uttered. I'm his secretary, and proofreading his shit is part of my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 676

You deserved it 3 223

Today, my boyfriend asked why I never let him go down on me. I told him that it doesn't do much for me, even though it really does. I didn't have the courage to tell him that it's because he acts like a rabid dog when he does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 452

You deserved it 12 599

Today, my kitten decided that having diarrhea was not a good enough reason to stop running in circles around my living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 785

You deserved it 4 188

Today, in addition to having to deal with chronic pain that keeps me from driving for more than 10 minutes, I now have to deal with my brother who thinks I'm not paying him enough for taking me to school 2 days a week, when he does the journeys for himself anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 558

You deserved it 192

Today, I accidentally tackled my own teammate during a rugby match, so our coach made me walk the 5 miles back home instead of driving me home with the rest of the team. FML

I agree, your life sucks 590

You deserved it 716