Airplanes

I didn't realize it until after I got back to my seat. I definitely wasn't going to touch that. Nothing like walking thru an airport with no shoes on.

Stressed out

By Anonymous - 07/08/2023 06:00

Today, I was supposed to fly home for my dad's funeral, but the woman in the seat next to me was so obese, her bulging flesh left absolutely no way for me to sit in my seat. I complained to the stewardess, who then forced me to leave the plane just for raising my voice in frustration. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 514

By plantfood - 06/01/2012 05:47 - United States

Today, I was boarding a plane and an elderly woman asked if I could put her carry on into the overhead bin. Eager to help, I energetically lifted her bag up, and smacked her in the face with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 046

You deserved it 6 365

Girls just wanna go home

By budadepressed - 18/07/2016 21:22 - United States - Burnsville

Today, due to a scheduling error, I spent an entire day and night in an airport, over 30 hours in total. Just as I arrived at the gate, I was informed that my flight had been delayed for another 2 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 617

You deserved it 1 085

Missed

By Anonyme - 10/06/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I'm anxious traveler who's flying by myself. My first flight got delayed due to one issue after another. This caused me to miss my connection. There are no more flights today so I'm having to stay overnight which, by the way, the airline won't pay for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 483

You deserved it 69

Get me out of here

By IamHM - 19/07/2016 18:36 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 294

You deserved it 1 765

Security check

By Kammy - 01/03/2009 23:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and his family had invited me to go on a tropical family trip with them. When we got to the airport, security stopped me and opened my carry-on bag. I'd forgotten about the no liquids rule. They took out a bottle of massage oil, lube, Vagisil and Nair. His whole family saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 871

You deserved it 70 622

Have a nice trip!

By whatsmccraken - 10/09/2009 12:37 - Taiwan

Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 820

You deserved it 2 311

Run run run

By mad flyer - 21/02/2010 05:47 - France

Today, after my first flight landed late, I burned out my lungs sprinting full speed for 10 minutes to catch my next flight. The gate number on my ticket was wrong. It had been changed to one right next to where I had originally pulled up to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 633

You deserved it 3 805

The kindness of strangers

By Anonymous - 25/12/2021 10:59

Today, the stranger I sat next to on a plane was a better father to my son in three hours than my worthless boyfriend has been in five years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 067

You deserved it 481

Karen in seat 14A

By Dammit - 16/02/2025 20:00 - Australia

Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 475

Round trip

By Anonymous - 26/06/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, due to the unexpected closure of Qatari airspace, I took a 14 hour flight from Perth, Western Australia to Perth, Western Australia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 494

You deserved it 72

Wingnut

By heathenapparently - 16/02/2019 20:00

Today, while driving me to the airport for a trip to Japan, my mother started crying. When I asked her why, she said, "I just know that if the plane crashes, I will never see you again because you are going to hell." Thank you, mom. I love you too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 814

You deserved it 264

Travelling light

By intrepid_traveller - 19/08/2021 02:01 - Finland - Parola

Today, after spending the night anxiously waiting for a negative COVID test result which would allow me to travel, I got to the airport in the morning, despite delays, and finally realized that my wallet is sitting on my couch at home. I'm on the plane now. There's no going back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 813

You deserved it 394

Cost effective

By apawn - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, I had the option of choosing a train or a plane to get to my destination. The train was cheaper but took 4 hours longer, so I picked the plane. My flight was delayed, so I essentially paid more to arrive later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 231

You deserved it 1 964

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 206

You deserved it 11 476

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 804

You deserved it 5 120

Today, I woke up to find that my cat had knocked over a $35 can of powdered baby formula, and there were TWO different colonies of ants warring over the bounty all over the counter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 890

You deserved it 4 174

Today, my family is still telling me to "get over" the death of my great aunt. The great aunt who always gave the most wonderful birthday gifts, and was overall one of the most pleasant people I've ever met, and I'm NOT allowed to be sad that she's gone. Did I mention she died on my birthday? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 415

You deserved it 138

Today, I’m still on bed rest recovering from life-altering surgery. My pain is unreal but the pills make me nauseous or knock me out cold. When I try to express what I’m going through, all anyone tries to do is cheer me up without listening. I just want someone to understand what I’m going through. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 194

Today, I started an electrical fire trying to charge my vibrators. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 386