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Never go back

By Anonymous - 16/02/2025 07:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I'm contemplating messaging my ex. It's been 5 months since I quietly moved on after he started ignoring me, or telling me that he was actually planning a date by asking me if a shirt looked good on him. It did look good on him and he's probably moved on too, while I've spent the last 5 months thinking about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 166

You deserved it 477

Hush!

By Anonymous - 03/03/2025 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I received a letter signed “anonymously” by at least 6 of my neighbours that unless I do something about my loud nightmares they’re going to start calling the police every time it happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 146

Rookie mistake

By George P - 12/03/2025 22:00 - Canada

Today, I went up to a cute barista at the coffee shop and told her, “You make the best coffee, like seriously, you could make a career out of it.” She gave me a weird look and responded, “I AM a barista.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 67

You deserved it 652

Chilled

By Anonymous - 20/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I put on a new shirt and headed out to a café to meet a friend. Halfway through our conversation, I noticed my cat had followed me into the café after somehow making a nest in my bag. I looked down to see her tail sticking out of my purse, wagging like she owned the place. She is tiny, but still… how she managed to stay hidden for more than 10 minutes is beyond me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 219

You deserved it 337

Good one, Meemaw

By Anonymous - 21/03/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was teaching my grandma how to use her new tablet. After explaining and setting everything up, I left her alone to check her email. When I came back, she'd somehow "mistakenly" sent an email to our entire family with the subject line "Help! My grandson thinks I'm a dipshit and has kidnapped me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 388

You deserved it 111

I'm outta here

By Not your maid - 23/03/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend screamed at me for not cleaning his son's bedroom. The kid is 13 years-old, and there's nothing physically or mentally wrong with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 100

Screen time

By I hate myself - 25/03/2025 09:00 - United States - San Jose

Today, I realized I had been staring at my phone for an hour without doing anything else. When I looked up, I noticed my mom had been standing in the doorway, shaking her head at me for a solid five minutes. I hadn’t noticed her. I wish I could use this laser focus to study for my college exams instead of wasting my time doomscrolling Instagram. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117

You deserved it 476

No friends, no problems

By Anonymous - 27/03/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son got the last of his furniture delivered and finally moved into his first house. This boy has exactly one chair, a massive armchair pointed at the TV. When I asked him where the hell visitors are supposed to sit, he said that visitors generally won’t be welcome, even me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 176

You deserved it 448

Slipped up

By Nicko - 28/03/2025 17:00 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend that my ex is pregnant, but not to worry because it’s not mine. That’s how I inadvertently told her I’ve been cheating on her with my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 333

Wait, what?

By Bradley Earl - 01/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Lansing

Today, my girlfriend was a mystic and I'd told her not to use FML because it seemed negative. I think it feels controlling and I don't want that. I also deleted a file that was about fear of her husband dying because she lost her dad. I wish I could go back and be on FML too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52

You deserved it 462

Regular occurrence

By Anonymous - 03/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Portland

Today, my family’s usual Sunday dinner turned into a shouting match over politics. My uncle called me a “brainwashed socialist,” my cousin accused me of being a “capitalist pig,” and my grandma just sat there eating pie, which made me want to call her a "fence-sitting centrist", which is when I realized that maybe we shouldn't ever talk about politics again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 145

You deserved it 470

I hate hiking now

By Anonymous - 04/04/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to take a cute selfie on a hiking trip. As I leaned against a boulder to get the perfect shot, a squirrel jumped out of nowhere and attacked me, probably thinking I was after its food. I dropped my phone into a creek, and my friends took a picture of me freaking out instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 161

You deserved it 427

Bad omen

By Anonymous - 08/04/2025 02:00 - United States - Victoria

Today, I got a call from the dealership I was trying to work a deal with. After finishing the paperwork at the dealership, I tried to leave on my brand new Harley Davison. It wouldn’t start, so someone came back after hours to jump start my new bike, only to wipe out in the street there, wrecking my new bike. FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 137

Names and faces

By Steve Froemming - 20/04/2025 15:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I hate when I go out and I forget peoples' names; even though they know me and I know them, I forgot their name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 363

You deserved it 90

Milestone

By Falling off the wagon - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my uncle gave me a very expensive bottle of champagne at a celebratory family event. We were celebrating me spending one year sober. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 881

You deserved it 3 649

The coast is clear

By Anonymous - 29/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I went to a really hot chick I’ve known for years's house, because she said her soon to be ex-husband had gone on a business trip for work. While I was sitting in the house with a ton of cologne on and a fresh shave, the husband walked in, looked at me, and said, "What’s up?" Guess I'm not getting laid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 592

Useless

By Anonymous - 01/05/2025 07:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my place of work was robbed. When expressing worry that the thieves would return, the cops told us, and I quote, "If they come back and attack you, just give us a call back." Fucking stellar, thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 94

Right place…

By Not Her, sorry - 03/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was walking through my local park when I noticed a guy getting down on one knee with a ring box in hand. As I got closer, he looked at me, got a horrified expression on his face, and shouted, “Oh no, wrong woman!” He then awkwardly stood up, put the ring back in his pocket, and scuttled away. That's probably the closest I'll ever get to a proposal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 492

You deserved it 146

Bob the builder

By Greg - 06/05/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my ex said that the reason we didn't work out was because I wasn't handy around the house. I'm quite capable of basic home repairs. I'm not capable when she's hovering over me, hyperventilating, and screaming, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" every time I reach for a tool. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 76

Impressed indeed

By Anonymous - 10/05/2025 12:00 - Ireland

Today, I joined a dance class to impress my girlfriend. Halfway through, I realized I had two left feet. The instructor asked me to demonstrate a simple move, and instead I tripped on the mat, fell into another dancer, and took her down with me. I’ve been banned from all future classes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 127

Big head

By Anonymous - 19/05/2025 13:00 - Lebanon

Today, it was my girlfriend’s birthday. I was invited to her surprise party and we got there before she arrived. When she came in, she asked the waiters where her friends were, then said, “I saw your head at the end of the restaurant.” She mentioned my head multiple times. I have a big head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400

You deserved it 125

Get away from me

By IAdoptedACat? - 22/05/2025 17:00 - United States - Tulsa

Today, I learned that, after catching my newly adopted cat so we could spend some quality time in the closet during a tornado warning, she's unwilling to let me close enough to administer her ear drops. I left my covered parking at work and took hail damage for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 304

Just trying to help

By Dave - 28/05/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I saw a little boy wandering in the supermarket looking lost and distraught. I gently put my hand on his shoulder and said, “Hey buddy, where’s your mommy?” He screamed, “STRANGER DANGER!” and kicked me in the shin. His actual mom wandered over from the cheese section, gave me a dirty look, and walked off. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 184

Never in public

By Red - 02/06/2025 15:00 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me in a beautiful park. It would have been perfect if it wasn't for some fat incel recording it on his phone, yelling about how much of a douche my boyfriend is, and how I'm such a "Stacy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 90

Seriously?

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 02:00

Today, my husband got home on my birthday and told me he went overboard and bought a real expensive gift for his favourite girl. He then turned round and gave the real expensive gift to the girl in question, his 3 year-old niece. It’s not even her birthday. I got fuck all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 538

You deserved it 116

Bad week

By poopface82 - 07/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 408

You deserved it 78

New look, huh?

By Dave - 15/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I tried a new beard trimmer that has a laser guide. I somehow set it too close to my skin and shaved a completely bald line straight through the middle of my beard. Now I look like a magician with a flesh mustache divider, or a bassist from a 90s nu-metal band. FML

I agree, your life sucks 120

You deserved it 331

Sounds about right

By Anonymous - 18/06/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent an hour frantically searching for my car keys, turning the entire apartment upside down. After giving up and calling a locksmith, I found the keys… in the fridge. Because apparently I put my leftover pizza on top of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 380

First world problems

By Anonymous - 20/06/2025 03:00 - United States

Today, my Brita filter for my pitcher needs a replacement. This wouldn't be even remotely that big of a deal, except this month I also ran out on a few other necessities that weren't exactly what one would call cheap. I'm trying to both save money but also learn more healthy habits (like drinking more water). FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 258

Pay attention

By Anonymous - 04/07/2025 15:00 - United States - Newport

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 626

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The Top

Today, not an hour after my girlfriend lectured me on boundaries and "my body, my rules", she threw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't let her pop a pimple on my ear. Apparently, only she gets to have boundaries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 543

You deserved it 97

Today, I've been working for a company for six months, but I still don't know my job fully because my trainer is difficult. He would get mad because I'd wait until he was done explaining before asking questions, so I changed and asked as soon as he said something I didn't know, but would get, "Well, if you'd let me finish…" FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 85

Today, a professor accused me of using ChatGPT to write an essay. His proof? My use of em dashes. You know, these – things. I have always used them. Look – – –, here's a few more. I'm so annoyed with AI and I'm afraid it's going to get worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393

You deserved it 75

Today, I found out my husband hasn't paid the mortgage in 3 months. We have a joint account, but it has always been his job to pay the bills. We are in the process of selling our house, and when I asked him about it he said, "Why are you stressing? We're selling anyways." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 141

Today, I got pulled over heading home from college. My car was full of my stuff from moving out, and I couldn't reach the glove box. I told the cop this, and asked if he wanted me to go around to the passenger side to get my paperwork. He agreed. When I got out of the car, he pepper sprayed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 554

You deserved it 189

Today, my cat peed on my long-term project so I had to stay up until 4 am doing the whole thing again... just for it to fall in the train tracks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 271

You deserved it 305