Nope, no thanks By Anonymous - 30/07/2026 12:00 - United States Today, I found out that I have to appear in juvenile court because I refused to go visit my dad, even though it was court ordered. FML I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 157 Share Tweet Share
Today, the creepy girl in my history class told me that she once spent a whole period doing nothing but counting the freckles on the right side of my face, and that I have more than she's ever seen before on anyone else combined. FML I agree, your life sucks 34 002 You deserved it 3 355
Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML I agree, your life sucks 712 You deserved it 497
Today, both my brother and sister missed my wedding. She was playing in a Call of Duty tournament, and he got so high that he forgot about the wedding completely. He was my best man. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 606 You deserved it 3 786
Today, I decided to be a generous guy and slip a dollar from my pocket to a beggar. Turns out I'd slipped my hard-earned $100 bill instead. FML I agree, your life sucks 22 753 You deserved it 35 953
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Suddenly, he grabbed my 'lower' lips and moved them in a talking motion, proclaiming that "the talking vagina declares war and wants to conquer the great penis." FML I agree, your life sucks 54 953 You deserved it 18 549
Today, I met my paternal grandparents for the first time, since my dad was never in my life and my mom wouldn’t talk about him. According to them, I have at least 28 other siblings from him, and who knows how many that haven’t come forward. No wonder my mom always hated him. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 051 You deserved it 140
Today, I called the Vietnamese teacher at my son's kindergarten by my Chinese colleague's name. Luckily, she didn't catch it. I'm not a racist, I was just tired after a long day. FML I agree, your life sucks 300 You deserved it 107
Today, I found out I am pregnant. I hooked up with my step-dad not that long ago while my mom was out of town. I'm 30 and he wants to tell my mom my baby is his, and I like the idea of telling her, but also know she won’t take it well. FML I agree, your life sucks 52 You deserved it 987