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I only talking to one person here and it's this dumb bitch above you! If you don't like it, find yourself another FML. No one said you had to sit here in read this one. This is a community place. I have the right to post comments just as much as you do!

By nerdsgetmehot - 07/04/2011 16:55 - United States

Today, at 21 years old, I am still so flat chested that I can't even fit into training bras meant for 12 year olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 867

You deserved it 5 871

Unreasonable

By B - 04/02/2012 01:17 - United States

Today, my wife screamed at me, calling me a "useless, ungrateful piece of crap", all because I wouldn't have sex with her, despite hours of her nagging. I said no because I've been laid-up in bed for the past week waiting on surgery for an excruciatingly painful hernia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 631

You deserved it 3 445

By erjazo - 31/12/2013 21:19 - United States - Morris

Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 331

You deserved it 6 870

Smooth Operator

By kingpig - 02/02/2012 18:00 - Sweden

Today, I was on a date with a guy I've been crushing on. In the middle of the dinner, he said he had to go get something from his car. When I asked what it was, he smiled and said it was a surprise. I waited for my surprise for half an hour. Then I decided to pay the bill and go home and cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 077

You deserved it 3 764

With friends like these…

By dreadedmafia86 - 12/03/2010 00:22 - United States

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 117

You deserved it 2 493

Good boy

By Ugh - 16/02/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 485

You deserved it 7 081

Repetitive

By Anonymous - 27/07/2021 04:01

Today, my husband stormed out to the pub because he couldn’t stand listening to my mother droning on and on about the same stories she always tells and the programmes she watches everyday. He didn’t think of taking me with him, so I had to stay and listen to the boring old bat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 813

By Cacahuete - 28/12/2013 14:46 - France - Villejuif

Today, a DJ friend of mine offered me a part in one of his tracks. I was flattered, and accepted. All I ended up singing was, "I'm a bitch, I'm a bitch" over and over again in the background. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 903

You deserved it 7 380

By Twiggysucks68 - 07/01/2013 01:49 - United States - Antioch

Today, my fiancé decided he wants a baby only because our dog is good, quiet, and falls asleep as soon as he starts to cradle her. He thinks a baby will be just like that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 351

You deserved it 2 837

By William Johnson - 26/12/2013 23:57 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I went on a 70-mile drive to the next town over to finally meet this beautiful girl I had talked to online. To my surprise, she looked exactly how she did in her pictures, minus the ring on her finger and the fiancé who wanted to punch me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 525

You deserved it 5 828

By Dracoboxer357 - 05/01/2013 16:00 - Canada

Today, my wife is pregnant and sick. She switches from sobbing she's sorry for that, to blaming me for "doing this to me." On top of that, I have half her symptoms now: throwing up and crying for no reason. This will be a long 9 months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 759

You deserved it 5 089

Dracoboxer357 tells us more.

Dracoboxer357 35

Saturday 5 January 2013 20:49

48- It's called Couvade's syndrome, I looked it up when I started randomly throwing up in public before she did with our first child. It's also how we knew for sure we were pregnant with our second: I spontaneously puked out my truck window onto another car while driving through town. ;P I've gotten the whole roller coaster ride of emotions through two pregnancies already, I'm pretty sure it's just more of the same now. :)

By introuble - 23/08/2009 04:48 - United States

Today, as I was getting into work, I saw a co-worker of mine walking in front of me. We're really good friends and we joke around a lot, so I jokingly whistled at him and slapped his butt. Turns out it wasn't my friend, it was the new guy. Hello, sexual harassment charges. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 217

You deserved it 17 102

Alexa, play "That's Not My Name" by The Ting Tings

By ItalianBabyDoll - 11/04/2020 14:00

Today, during my boyfriend's birthday dinner, his father shouted, “Jessica, can you slice me a piece too?” My name isn’t Jessica and I’ve been in their family for over two years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 728

You deserved it 204

By WeiXinLun - 25/12/2013 06:22 - United States - Union City

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 012

You deserved it 2 982

WeiXinLun tells us more.

WeiXinLun 16

Wednesday 25 December 2013 23:23

OP here! this actual happened a while ago, but the principle is still the same. the neighbors with the chihuahua, they occasionally yell at the dog to shut up. for the most part, they do nothing. it's not too loud to legally make a noise complaint, but loud enough to be an awful annoyance. as for the ones with the rooster, they don't even speak English. they're from Hong Kong, so they only speak Cantonese, which i don't speak. and i live in the middle of suburbia, so the rooster is very illegal. a 1000$ fine, i believe, if reported. the rooster usually gets really loud around 10, so it sometimes wakes me up, sometimes not. the chihuahua is pretty much 24/7. any more suggestions are more than welcome though, thanks!