By Anonymous - 24/03/2016 05:25 - United States - Federal Way
The Top
By ifunnybatman - 22/03/2016 04:03 - United States - Roswell
ifunnybatman tells us more.
By No thank you - 04/02/2015 20:17 - United States - Columbus
By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States
You've got mail
By Silentshdw13 - 14/03/2016 23:00 - United States - Arlington
By jennaaa01 - 10/03/2016 04:51 - United States - Somers
jennaaa01 tells us more.
hey guys, OP here, and thank you all so much for the well-wishes. I forgot to log in before I posted the fml. I had a meniscus repair surgery, actually the second time I've had it done. I'm loving all your puns though. and to those saying to take the stockings off for a short time, my doctor wants me to keep them on until tomorrow, so I'll have had them on for a full two days. I'm not allowed to shower yet, seeing as my surgery was yesterday and he wants me to wait 48 hours.
Caught red-knobbed
By Anonymous - 27/01/2010 02:28 - France
Dirty old bat
By grannysmack - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 03:41 - United States - Houston
By MrRadin - 04/12/2015 05:31 - France
By Anthony Hathaway - 19/10/2018 13:30
Time to run
By wastedtime - 13/09/2020 19:57 - United States
By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami
By PhD student - 10/02/2016 11:57 - Sweden - Stockholm
By Anonymous - 02/02/2016 03:48 - United States - Smyrna
By MedStudent90 - 11/12/2014 18:10 - United States - Saint Paul
Happy Caturday!
By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brooklyn
By Anonymous - 28/08/2013 18:50 - United States - Bessemer
By DrtySnchez - 18/08/2013 09:37 - United States - Statham
Dumbasses
By Anonymous - 16/08/2013 21:05 - United States - Nevada
By Anonymous - 18/01/2016 10:50 - Australia - Perth
Deep sleep
By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 19:28 - United States - Scottsdale
By notgay - 25/12/2009 19:34 - United States
By todayJman03 - 22/12/2009 13:03 - United States
By fucking_worthless_loser - 08/02/2017 22:00 - United States - Concord
Chill out
By Anonymous - 19/12/2018 14:00 - United Kingdom - Colchester
By Anonymous - 01/12/2010 19:35 - United States
Mad lad
By Bob H. - 26/10/2014 13:54 - Canada - Québec
By Sonata90 - 20/12/2015 06:36 - Canada - Lewisporte
Sonata90 tells us more.
OP here, just wanted to expand on this to answer some questions. Both bank and credit cards are joint for us— the act of bringing in the income and shopping for the “perfect” gift is what we consider the act of gifting within our relationship. The price on the credit card bill was not the factor that would have ruined the surprise as it was planned to show as a paypal purchase and he already knew I had bought him a gift; the surprise was in knowing what the gift actually was. Customer service, on the other hand, doesn't usually call anyone to confirm purchases—I have purchased far more expensive things without receiving a call before. I just got unlucky this time I guess! His surprise came in early and he was still happy. For those wondering why we have joint accounts while dating; we’ve been together for six years as common-law partners and our relationship is built on trust and honesty. He got a gamer girlfriend but I got lucky with a good man!
By Anonymous - 18/12/2015 11:40 - United States - Santa Cruz
Keywords
My husband had actually wanted kids more than I did. We were together 5 years before marriage he had never mentioned this before and we didn't have unprotected sex until the night we were married. Our son is 4 and these accusations sprung up after he read some stupid mock article about how one blow to the jewels can completely ruin a guy. I actually considered him rather smart up until this point Lol. He tried to claim he was joking once all the test came back but I know he wasn't. He hasn't treated our son any different though thank God. Anyway sorry for the long reply anymore questions I'll try to answer them. TL;DR: Husband is an idiot tried to play it off like a joke didn't work.