The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

My skin hates me

By allergyssuck - 05/07/2018 20:30

Today, I got a soap that my doctor recommended, because I'm allergic to the vast majority of soaps. After driving 45 miles to the only store that sells it, and paying $12 for a bottle, I found out I'm allergic to it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 790

You deserved it 300

By SuperWhoMarvLock - 06/05/2016 01:35 - United States - Hibbing

Today, my class went for a hike through the woods near our school to destress during finals. While walking downhill towards the edge of the lake, I tripped and tumbled down the hill, and ended up diving head first into the lake. I had to hike back to the school soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 700

You deserved it 1 277

SuperWhoMarvLock tells us more.

SuperWhoMarvLock 22

Wednesday 11 May 2016 7:08

Hey, OP here! I'm a girl and a senior in high school. My physics class of 10 had planned a hike to enjoy the warm weather when this happened. Considering how hot it was, I wasn't as bothered as I could've been. The ironic part was how I had stated earlier "If anyone's going to trip and fall off the trail, it's going to be me" as I know myself to be clumsy. Boy, was I right. Everyone did get in a few good laughs, including myself and my teacher. He didn't even look surprised haha. It was definitely uncomfortable hiking back with my soaked jeans and long-sleeved shirt, but I was over it almost instantly and can laugh about it now. Graduation is in a couple of weeks, and I'm glad I'm able to take such hilarious memories with me! Thanks for all the nice and funny comments. :)

By send the army please - 02/05/2016 06:51 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 368

You deserved it 1 559

By SamWGovan - 09/12/2012 16:57 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was sitting cross-legged, idly jerkin' the gherkin. I guess I got slightly carried away, because I zoned out, forgot where I was aiming, and came all over the side of my face, up my nose and into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 067

You deserved it 66 971

SamWGovan tells us more.

SamWGovan 6

Monday 10 December 2012 21:51

Funniest thing was i started laughing uncontrollably afterwards.

Make it stop

By Ashley Harn - 23/08/2018 18:30

Today, I found out I'm allergic to something in the city water. I've had itchy patches and rashes all over my body, but I can't afford to pay for the filtration system that would solve it. My landlord forbids any modifications to the shower and washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 737

You deserved it 159

By Shock - 21/03/2016 20:12 - United States - Littleton

Today, while working for a hospital security company, I had to assist in restraining a male patient while the nurses put a catheter in him. All I will say is that it looked like a worm trying to swallow a straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 183

You deserved it 1 644

By Kaylz - 07/03/2016 04:35 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was given a $100 cookbook as a gift by a co-worker. The man who shares a desk with me didn't realise it was mine, as he was at lunch when I got it, so he decided to give it to my boss when he walked in. My boss is refusing to return it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 242

You deserved it 1 470

By waxinghorror - 11/07/2009 20:11 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to get bikini waxes. Afterwards, the women who did the waxing told my friend it was $30 for her wax. Then, in front of the whole salon, the women points at me and says, "You! You so hairy- $35!". FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 596

You deserved it 9 260

Pipe down

By Hotdogwater - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my neighbour put in a noise complaint against me for being loud at midnight. I was having a coughing fit and couldn't breathe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 327

You deserved it 425

Gross and weird

By Porkchop - 14/11/2021 23:00

Today, I had to explain to my girlfriend that it’s weird to defecate into your hand and throw it from the shower into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 646

You deserved it 117

Liar, liar

By skanula414 - 31/12/2014 19:00 - Sweden - Malm?

Today, I found out my 7-year-old daughter really did lie about my husband's "other girlfriend" as revenge for being grounded, and that he never cheated on me at all. We're well into our divorce proceedings and he won't forgive me for not believing him when he denied it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 468

You deserved it 49 823

By Ouchmybum - 03/11/2018 12:00

Today, whilst out on a walk with the dogs, I decided to explore a different part of the woods. Suddenly I felt a sharp pain in my bum. Then another. And another. I realised it was wasps and ran. I've been stung 11 times and have to go back tomorrow for the coat I dropped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 585

You deserved it 246

By Alex - 05/02/2016 22:55 - United States - Elizabethtown

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 109

You deserved it 2 984

By doodlecrzyMeg - 04/02/2016 18:56 - United States - Mattoon

Today, I had to hide in the closet all morning because my 22-year-old boyfriend didn't want to admit to his parents that he had his girlfriend stay the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 679

You deserved it 4 275

By LicenseLoser - 13/11/2018 15:30

Today, I received a notice that I'm being fined for failure to renew my Florida license. I've lived in Maryland for the last seven years and I've never had a Florida license. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 178

No way

By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 19:31 - United States - Cloquet

Today, my shitburglar of an ex asked me to take him back. He said dumping me was a huge mistake. He dumped me because I was bed-ridden for several weeks and was in no condition to have sex. If his social media is anything to go by, he only wants me back because he couldn't get laid elsewhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 591

You deserved it 1 588

By anonymous - 19/08/2013 05:41 - United States - Lamar

Today, I found my dad drunk, sitting on the bathroom floor crying. When I asked him why, he said, "My son is gay." I'm his only child, and I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 410

You deserved it 3 061

By wheelmaker - 03/12/2018 17:30

Today, the girl I've had several passionate encounters over the past few weeks admitted we cannot entirely be together as she is married. She wants to make it work with me but cannot divorce as she would lose her visa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 798

You deserved it 486

By talt - 10/12/2018 12:30

Today, I went to the hospital for taking to many anxiety meds cause of a panic attack over my finals. They decided the best way to fix this will be to involuntarily commit me to psychiatric treatment for 72 hours... missing all my finals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 751

You deserved it 712

By Anonymous - 28/12/2018 02:00

Today, I bought a car off my aunt, then I got 7 speeding tickets. Apparently my aunt forgot to tell me the speedometer is faulty, so while I thought I was doing a safe 28 or 29 mph in the 30 zone on my way to work, I was probably doing closer to 35 or 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 613

You deserved it 441

By wow, thanks - 18/08/2012 00:39 - United States - Seattle

Today, my family and I went to the movie theater. There weren't enough free seats near the front, so I sat a few rows back with my grandpa. He kept throwing our snacks at my parents' heads all through the movie. He claimed he'd been asleep the whole time, and I'm now grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 941

You deserved it 2 374

By Anonymous - 03/07/2019 21:00 - Canada

Today, I was so zoned-out, I shouted a hello to the chair in the staff room. It's the third time today I've mistaken an inanimate object for a person. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 541

Pranks are evil

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Australia - Adelaide

Today, my sister shaved a chunk of my hair off while I was sleeping. I'm getting married in three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 825

You deserved it 1 664

By Olz - 22/01/2019 14:00

Today, I received my 12-month diet plan from an online coach. It said, “Eat less calories lol.” I just lost £175. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 192

You deserved it 1 211

By ohtheirony - 10/12/2015 19:49 - United States - Reno

Today, while trying to explain to my friends what an anxiety attack is like, I had an anxiety attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 058

You deserved it 2 197

By dragonstooth257 - 25/02/2019 16:00

Today, my child is so super clingy and needy, I have to sit and watch her bounce on the trampoline attentatively or else face hours and hours of whining. She's like the Screamapillar from the Simpsons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 603

You deserved it 1 510

By Justus Buhler - 03/03/2017 02:00

Today, my girlfriend told me that she had to go to New Hampshire for a few days for her grandma's funeral. Later I found out she spent over $1,000 dollars (on our joint account) to take a vacation with the man she was cheating on me with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 504

You deserved it 721

By Paté - 05/01/2010 04:52 - Ukraine

Today, I found myself completely naked, tied to a chair with a slice of ham on each breast. Note to self: never again let my boyfriend make one of his fantasies come true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 599

You deserved it 144

By Anonyme - 18/09/2016 01:42 - France - Vendenheim

Today, I came back from the hospital after back surgery which required putting screws in my spine. My children spent all day trying to stick magnets on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 93

By Christopher Tobler - 26/04/2019 20:00 - United States - New York

Today, I found out that my mom paints, and that I was artistically represented in a painting, as Satan, in a painting made shortly after I told her that I was an atheist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 108

You deserved it 458

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 273

You deserved it 1 563

Today, I participated in a charity auction at my university where the boys are "sold" to the highest bidder to be a slave for a day. My girlfriend and ex were bidding against each other. My ex won. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 625

You deserved it 5 655

Today, at Arby's, there were two cute guys behind me in line. Right before ordering, my dad said loudly "Go get the calorie sheet. You need to lose more weight before you think about going after those guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 987

You deserved it 5 380

Today, I got a bikini wax. They said it wouldn't hurt too badly, and that it would just sting. My friend heard me screaming from all the way down the hall in the waiting room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 246

You deserved it 20 060

Today, I got a tattoo with my boyfriend's name on it. As we're coworkers, I showed it to him thinking he’d love it. He told me he couldn’t continue the relationship anymore since he realized he wants to fix things with his wife. Three hours of pain and 2 years down the drain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 2 050

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 000

You deserved it 5 774