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And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Spicy

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 219

Oops...

By the other woman - 26/06/2018 01:30

Spicy

Today, I found out that the guy I lost my virginity to a few months ago was in a relationship the whole time. How did I find out? His now ex-girlfriend called to yell at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 231

You deserved it 530

By Anon. - 05/05/2016 21:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, like every other day my boyfriend and I try and have sex, his dog cried and whined outside of his room until we stopped. She does this all the time and it kills the mood instantly. I can't have sex because of a toy poodle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 722

You deserved it 2 375

Heftychonk

By just-a-fat-cat - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - West Bend

Today, I noticed my cat was making a loud wheezing noise when trying to breathe, so I rushed him to the vet's. $250.00 worth of tests later, he's fine. Just really fat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 950

You deserved it 5 122

By Ashamed_Sister - 19/07/2018 20:30 - Austria - Graz

Today, I returned from a job abroad and saw my twin brother for the first time in six months. He greeted me with words of true brotherly love: "You've fattened up a bit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 067

You deserved it 632

Pipe down

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - New Orleans

Today, I started a new job. I'm now trapped in a small office with a woman who says, "Oh my gravy!" constantly. In response to everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 134

You deserved it 2 305

By xSusanGeex - 09/04/2016 23:29 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, I spent 2 hours slaving over a hot stove to make my kids the perfect dinner. They both came home with Happy Meals in their hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 659

You deserved it 2 258

xSusanGeex tells us more.

xSusanGeex 15

Sunday 10 April 2016 17:17

Actually i am not. I say slaving because i have gas burners which everyone knows heats up the kitchen real quick.

The haves and the have nots

By geekyteendisaster - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff - United States - Littleton

Today, my crush finally asked me to homecoming. I told my best friend, thinking she would be happy for me. Now we are in a big argument and she won't talk to me because I have a date and she doesn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 595

You deserved it 334

By IGiveUp - 07/10/2018 13:30

Today, at work, I took a call from an angry customer. After listening to his problem and fully explaining how we could fix it, he called me a stupid girl and said I need more training as I obviously know nothing about my job. I'm the company training coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 013

You deserved it 223

Baby come back

By Therunawaymoh - 11/10/2018 12:00

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 390

You deserved it 364

Treat yourself

By Anonymous - 10/10/2018 15:30

Today, my fiancée bought me a luxury getaway to the Maldives, complete with a five-star hotel and first-class plane tickets. Too bad she used my credit card, with all the money I was saving for our wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 464

You deserved it 353

By H.B - 14/10/2018 17:30 - Germany

Today, my boss gave our coffee machine to her sister-in-law. I work in a cafe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 084

You deserved it 152

Little devil

By anerdmom - 18/10/2018 14:00

Today, while dropping my son off at the bus stop before school, I went to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then, before I was able to make contact, he jumped away, yelled "PSYCH!!!!" as loud as he could, and jumped on the bus. The kids all laughed at me and the other parents looked embarrassed for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 930

You deserved it 371

By pimplesapparently - 18/02/2016 20:17 - United States - New York

Today, I sent my friend a Snapchat without any makeup on. She asked what filter I used, because it made my face look all red and blotchy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 208

You deserved it 2 795

Exorcism time

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 18:47 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a teacher told me in all seriousness that she believes my son, who has severe learning difficulties, is likely demonically possessed. I'm sorry, but what century are we living in? Now I have to get him moved to another school so he doesn't have to be in the care of this nutjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 196

You deserved it 1 917

By minibuch1505 - 21/09/2012 11:31 - France - Halluin

Today, as I was waiting for my girlfriend in the street, I saw a woman who looked a lot like her. I ran towards her, my arms in the air ready to give her a hug, only to realise it wasn't her. I then had to pass the woman, my arms in the air, still running. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 779

You deserved it 6 730

Drop them right now

By Anonymous - 08/11/2018 12:00

Today, my husband came home from the hospital after having 6 gangrenous toes amputated because he hasn't been treating his diabetes properly. Not half an hour after he got home, I caught him sneaking sweets from a hiding place in his toolbox. He's already lost the bag with his medication in it. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 629

You deserved it 355

Hey you

By pappy - 03/05/2019 13:00 - United States - Lees Summit

Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 980

You deserved it 326

By Anonymous - 05/01/2016 15:04 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I found out that my best friend is being sacked. He's also about to rent a new apartment which he won't be able to afford when he loses his job. I can't warn him or I'll breach confidentiality and lose my job as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 142

You deserved it 2 007

When dinner is late

By Lewis - 27/01/2019 00:30

FEED ME NOW!

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 118

By Anonymous - 22/03/2017 18:00

Today, and every day since I got her, I leaned down to pour food and water into my cat's bowls. And today, like every single day, I forgot that my granite countertop sticks out a bit. I think part of my head is flat now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 115

You deserved it 3 718

Enthusiastic

By Earlybird76 - 04/04/2017 09:00 - Canada - Richmond

Today, after 6 months of unemployment and jobs searching, I showed up to my new job 10 minutes early. My new supervisor confusedly greeted me and informed me I was in fact a week and 10 minutes early. HR changed my start date and told everyone but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 505

You deserved it 347

By hi_im_ughlee - 05/11/2015 03:36

Today, I broke up with the guy I was seeing because he has a bad temper. He refused to believe me and decided that the best way to prove me wrong was to completely destroy my newly built house, inside and out, while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 964

You deserved it 1 697

hi_im_ughlee tells us more.

hi_im_ughlee 19

Thursday 5 November 2015 18:42

Hey, guys! I'm OP. I'm glad most of you are supportive about this! Charges have been filed and he will be sued for all damages. He actually did break in, and he broke all the windows and doors, smashed all the lights and mirrors, took a hammer to the brick outside and the walls inside, and destroyed my deck. I had mini cameras installed to make sure no one would steal anything while the house was still being worked on, so I've got irrefutable proof that it was him and slowly but surely he will be brought down.

By Anonymous - 21/05/2019 22:08

Today, I was reading a book, and my severe OCD makes it impossible for me to look up from reading if I haven't finished the page. This includes times like when my mother is frantically calling for help after falling off a ladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 873

You deserved it 1 047

By swedishdude - 14/11/2009 13:37 - Sweden

Today, I was at a party where I ate a bowl of disgusting snacks because I didn't want to drink on an empty stomach. I spent the next twelve hours trying to prevent the world from collapsing into millions of demonic shards, cause apparently that's what a large dose of magic mushrooms does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 025

You deserved it 36 941

By Charley - 25/11/2016 10:44

Today, I was teaching a new student their first ever piano lesson, hoping that they would sign up for more lessons. Thirty minutes had gone by and after the 5th time of me saying what a talented, sweet little girl she was, the mother told me it was in fact a boy. They didn't sign up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 906

You deserved it 3 104

By PinkMonkeys - 23/11/2016 18:33

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me by sending me flowers that said, "I just need some space, forever. I hope I never see you again, even if you were a great person. It's not you it's me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 627

You deserved it 894

Entitled much?

By Knittedbirch - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Today, my mom volunteered me to house-sit for one of her friends. This lady has texted me over ten times in less than 24 hours, called me unreasonable for not dropping jury duty to meet with her, and has messaged my mom multiple times to complain about me. My mom already said I would do this for free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 208

You deserved it 1 772

I LOVED THAT LITTLE GUY

By Anonymous - 30/05/2012 05:46 - United States - San Diego

Spicy

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 212

You deserved it 8 516

Nice try

By trojan72 - 13/06/2017 00:00

Today, marks a whole month that my boss has asked me to come in early to my part-time job, which makes me pretty happy to get the extra hours. I casually made a joke that she might as well make me full-time now. That made her change her mind, now I'm back down to 23 hours a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 164

You deserved it 963

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I went to take out my NuvaRing. To my surprise, I couldn’t find it. I’ve had unprotected sex almost every day this month. I don’t know when it fell out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 026

You deserved it 1 195

Today, I finally found a way to lesser the loneliness in my life. During at least one work or school zoom meeting a day, I "pin" a random female attendee's screen. That way, I can pretend we're staring into each others eyes the whole time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 1 404

Today, while on a flight, another passenger pulled their carry-on out of the overhead. They forgot about the filled, metal water bottle clipped to the outside until it nailed me on top of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 268

You deserved it 463

Today, I learned that when you have a banker and rental property manager for a dad, and a recently graduated business major for a boyfriend, the absolute worst thing you can do at family dinner night is suggest playing Monopoly. It was four hours of carnage I don’t think I can recover from FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 130

Today, my dad asked my brother not to use his shaver so late at night. That wasn't him, and it wasn't his shaver either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 674

You deserved it 3 327

Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 816

You deserved it 35 458