By Spike - 29/03/2011 18:08 - United States
The Top
Lowered expectations
By dac5 - 12/04/2020 05:00
Sax appeal
By blackcarnation - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - South Windsor
By ouchmytits - 28/03/2011 06:42 - United States
By AbsentMindedGal - 21/12/2013 09:07 - United States
By Anonymous - 26/03/2011 22:26 - United States
By Embarrassed - 11/02/2009 01:46 - United States
Halloween tomorrow, kids!
By Nickeleye - 30/10/2022 16:00 - United Kingdom
By Anonymous - 19/12/2013 22:49 - Australia - Kensington
By Fatty - 06/03/2010 13:05 - United States
Alexa, play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath
By ugh mom! - 22/04/2020 20:00
By stinky - 24/01/2012 08:15 - United States
By RustyGuy - 05/03/2010 18:31 - Canada
RustyGuy tells us more.
By me - 15/12/2013 01:49 - United States - West Babylon
By Scumbagmemory - 22/01/2012 04:17 - United States
By bittersweet - 08/02/2009 03:08 - United States
Rock, hard place
By coius - 06/05/2020 08:00
Protein source
By Anonymous - 14/08/2021 00:01 - United States - Chicago
Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
By ReginaW - 14/03/2024 12:00 - United States
By TheLadyOpal - 13/12/2013 07:55 - United States
TheLadyOpal tells us more.
Aaaah! I finally got an FML published :D Awesome. Now to clear a few things up: I have had an irrational fear of sudden loud noises my whole life. Not necessarily the noise itself - (although there are exceptions if it's particularly loud, like the smoke alarm), but the anticipation of the noise - one of the reasons I hated school was because I would sit in class and worry about whether or not we'd be having a fire drill that day. And I don't keep an alarm clock. I have tried to keep one in the past, only to realize that if I'm expecting an alarm to wake me up in the morning, I don't sleep. I don't have a cell phone either, and I live alone, so to the smartass who suggested someone mess with my phone to set an alarm ring-tone, sorry to burst your bubble :P And no, I don't actually WANT to die - I was just thinking about this the other day and saying to myself, would I actually rather die in my sleep than wake up in the middle of the night to a terrible noise and have to maybe evacuate my house and call 911 and probably dissolve into a sobbing wreck due to all the anxiety? No, death is not the better solution, obviously, but irrational feelings tend to disregard logic.
Gas giant
By StinkBomber - 11/08/2021 08:01 - United States - San Jose
By littmild - 02/03/2010 13:42 - Norway
littmild tells us more.
The party wasn't at my girlfriends house, no.. Can't imagine why people think he would be pissed, it's just incredibly funny, and something we could laugh about for years. This is actually my first time posting anything here, the first time I've ever read comments, and I have to say I'm quite shocked how many people who misundertands this website. Like people who thinks you post things like this to get sympathy, or this ongoing debate on my alcohol consumption. I can't actually believe that there is people in this world who doesn't have more important things to do. Why isn't FML filled with "Today, I didn't have anything else to do than post negative comments on FML. FML." I feel a burden has been lifted off my shoulders, people! I felt a bit stupid for what I've done, but now I know I have a long way to go to beat some of you. And yes, I look good naked. Unfortunatly I was wearing socks that made me look rather fat.
By iltdtsm - 15/08/2009 16:58 - Canada
By Lizz - 06/02/2009 19:25 - United States
By jsmills92 - 21/12/2012 00:26 - United States - Cranston
By Anonymous - 17/01/2012 03:19 - United States
By BritneyFink - 04/02/2009 21:05 - Canada
Kids these days…
By Anonymous - 10/11/2022 18:00
By Amy - 05/12/2013 05:25 - Australia - Adelaide
By Anonymous - 12/03/2011 23:18 - United States
Keywords
To add to the details: 1) The Pillowcase is part of a full set, so if I can't manage to get the blood out... and anyone who has tried removing dried blood knows its friggen hard... It's going to be very hard to find a matching replacement. 2) The reason I was so tired is because I'm an animation student at BCIT, and am working my ass off to finish my demoreel on time. I haven't had a proper nights sleep in quite some time. Still; i probably should have grabbed a tissue.