The Top

Well I did mention it was rickety. It rocked while I dusted and it was just poorly made, overall. It tilted forward, the drawer slid out and I couldn't catch it in time. Then BAM! Sudden singing light show from an old woman's rabbit.

Charlatans

By freakofnature - 31/03/2012 16:17 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I visited my new doctor, hoping that he would be able to figure out the cause of the pains I've been having for years. He told me there's nothing he can do, that half the drugs out there cause cancer anyway and that I should look into homeopathy. Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 664

You deserved it 2 409

Make your mind up

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, but on the way back was rear-ended, in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 524

You deserved it 3 299

Too much of a good thing

By tryingtoberomantic - 28/09/2019 14:00 - Australia

Today, I took my boyfriend out to dinner to an expensive restaurant. He overate, and now I have to nurse him through food poisoning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 263

Take your pencil and shove it

By Anonymous - 21/07/2022 18:00

Today, I realised I will never be as important to my mom as her career. I asked if we could spend the day together on my birthday and she offered to “pencil me in” on one of her slower days in September. My birthday is in August, but apparently that’s inconvenient for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 291

You deserved it 158

Awkwaaaaaard

By Why - 02/04/2014 08:13 - Australia - Sydney

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 662

You deserved it 6 330

By Sir_ND_Pity - 11/03/2013 19:57 - United States - Fresno

Today, since I hadn't eaten and was about to have a three hour class, I bought Panda Express. I sat opposite my classroom to eat. Soon after I started eating, a wad of saliva dropped into my bowl, and I heard someone yell "BONUS POINTS!" from the second floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 016

You deserved it 3 551

Sir_ND_Pity tells us more.

Sir_ND_Pity 35

Tuesday 12 March 2013 1:18

I know the wording makes it a bit confusing, but, yes, someone somehow spit into my bowl from the second floor :-/ unfortunately, I didn't see who did it so I wasn't able to even so much as confront them about it. I guess you could say I'm an unfortunate cookie!

By notenoughsex - 19/03/2009 05:46 - Canada

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 670

You deserved it 10 520