Nearly FMLs

By OnTheReceivingEnd - 10/03/2024 07:13 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I realized that every single story I've submitted to the FML site has been posted, without exception. I don't know whether to be pleased at the results, or depressed that my experiences have been so fully qualified to be on the site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 33

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 06:40 - United States

Today, I was at a casual Magic the Gathering game at my local gaming store. The owner had a deck that generates a bunch of tokens every level. He didn't like that I endgamed a player on his team, so he sent all of his tokens after me. I played a card that cancels all damage and gives +1 life for each attacker. I'm banned for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 06/03/2024 06:36 - United States - Waukesha

Today, I spent my birthday alone. I had only one person come, and I had three mental breakdowns. It makes me sad how I have zero to none friends, despite having tried over and over, and I can't. I hate my life, I hate myself for being born abnormal, it kills my self-esteem. I hate relying on people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 04/03/2024 07:19 - Philippines

Today, I like you. I want to confess to you personally, but I know you still haven't moved on. Every night in bed I would always wonder if I could be him. Someday I hope I can tell you about my feelings for you, but for now this will be enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 01/03/2024 07:24 - United States

Today, I'm in a committed relationship, but I also have strong feelings for a girl I work with and she's also in a committed relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 43

By FML - 24/02/2024 06:23 - United States - Steele

Today, if I had an FML account, I would probably be extremely close to or even have the badge for voting on every single FML on the website. I may need a hobby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 22

By Anonymous - 19/02/2024 06:14 - United States - Stone Mountain

Today, whether my life improves or worsens, my mind and soul are dying. I don't know the last time I cried for any reason. I'm a black man in America. Guess I'll keep my head down, work hard, and love my family while patiently waiting for the lord to show me a better life. Tired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 34

By Anonymous - 05/02/2024 07:24 - Canada

Today, I fucked up by telling my friends with benefits that I loved him, and that I would love to have his babies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24

You deserved it 95

By Jessica - 02/02/2024 06:01 - United States

Today, everyone in the whole school won’t stop calling me an idiot for being in a remedial math class. I’m in AP English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 22

By MaknaeMelanie - 26/01/2024 06:36 - Japan - Kyoto

Today, I had enough of the glitches in this app, so I was gonna try to reinstall it, only to find out that I've been using an outdated app no longer in the App Store, which keeps crashing by even just trying to open comments… ever since there apparently was a new FML app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 34

By FML - 19/01/2024 06:01 - United States

Today, I woke up to the news that a sexist, fascist, white supremacist, wannabe dictator criminal won a historic victory in the first part of my country's election. Here we go again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 17/01/2024 06:35 - United States

Today, my wife threw a massive tantrum, saying she’d been home with the baby all day and that I’m ungrateful. What did I do to deserve this? Asked why she didn’t cut the crust off the sandwich she made me after I got home from work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 215

By huge red flag right there - 15/01/2024 05:53 - United States

Today, I went to an Italian restaurant with a woman. Everything was going fine, until she said she didn’t want any grated parmesan on her pasta. I just got up and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 154

By IDPLife - 10/01/2024 07:00 - Ethiopia

Today, after 9 months of war in my country and losing everything to it, I finally made it into a neighbouring country. On the road, the bus stopped at a checkpoint. I got off to buy water. On my way back, I found out someone pickpocketed my phone. I've had it for almost 5 years and it was the only pre-war item I still own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 21

By Anonymous - 07/01/2024 07:03 - United States - Warren

Today, my dad got laid off because there wasn't any work at the job on his shift. He's an old-fashioned person who's the only one in the house who has a job. Not sure what we're gonna do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 24

By Anonymous - 28/12/2023 07:05 - Malawi - Lilongwe

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, a few days before or one year anniversary, all because he thinks that he isn't treating me right… but I feel like in the back of my mind that he could possibly be cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 24/12/2023 06:54 - Croatia - Zagreb

Today, I realized that I'm falling in love with two different men and I don't know which one to choose, because they are both amazing in their own ways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 83

By Billiam - 18/12/2023 06:36 - United States

Today, I got the mail. Hmm, I wonder what I got. Yay, more bills! FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 45

By Sadrainindeed - 12/12/2023 06:22 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, another one of my pants was ripped in the crotch. Due to having big thighs, this happens to me a lot. I wear them for a short time, then they’re unwearable anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 41

By Anonymous - 11/12/2023 06:35 - United States - Chicago

Today, while interviewing a 20-something for a job, he revealed he knew several nicknames for Anime and Pornography. One was Pornog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 16

By Anonymous - 09/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I was so bored I found that FML and 9GAG are still around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 34

By Foong Mun Loong - 17/11/2023 06:50 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, like every day, I sign off as FML cos it’s my initials. F.M.L. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 52

By Anonymous - 07/11/2023 06:02

Today, FML has not updated in weeks and I am getting nervous. Downloaded the updated app, no updates, now I miss the old app. I have been a loyal FML fan since high school which was 10 years ago. I hope new FMLs are coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 26

By Ubehage - 29/10/2023 05:31 - Denmark - Risskov

Today, my cat said farewell and died. He went up in my face, demanding some love. Then he went over to his pillow, laid down and stopped breathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 136

You deserved it 32

Piss off

By KaySchrages92 - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 675

You deserved it 3 896

By Jessica - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States

Today, I found out that two kids were able to, without much effort, convince my 16-year-old daughter that her friend's house was used to smuggle out Jews during WWII. His house was built in 2007. We also live in America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 056

You deserved it 3 506

By in this day and age.... - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Dallas

Today, the first words I heard from my "good, Christian" future mother-in-law included a salvo of curse words and a hushed rant about "them dirty Jews". I'm culturally Jewish. This bodes well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 196

You deserved it 1 826

By Anonymous - 19/10/2023 16:25 - United States - Spring

Today, my fiancé's mom was driving me to the store to pick up my wedding dress. A few minutes into the drive, she said the car's tank was nearly out of "Jews" and that she'd have to give it "a whole lotta gas", then chuckled to herself. She's well aware that I'm Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 815

You deserved it 2 349

Touchy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2023 16:25

Today, I found out that my paper about World War 2 has led my teacher to believe that I hate Jews. I wrote my paper about the technological advances made during the war, and made no mention of Jews. She and I are both Jewish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 279

You deserved it 110

News from Twitter dot com?

By Fuck these people - 19/10/2023 16:25

Today, I encountered a massive racist internet troll who kept calling people "Jews" as an insult. My friend, who is actually Jewish, was so upset that he went on a massive rant of his own to make the troll shut up, and I supported him. Guess who got banned when a mod came in. Hint: It wasn't the troll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 296

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The Top

Today, after nearly a year of being stalked, harassed and even terrorized, the police finally found out who my stalker was. It was my 19-year-old son, who thought it would be a fun prank to pull. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 988

You deserved it 5 974

Today, I took my cat to the vet. The creepy vet looked me in the eyes and said, "This isn't the only pussy I'll be checking out today." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 336

You deserved it 4 152

Today, I was sitting in a parked car. A woman was having difficulties maneuvering out. She honked the horn repeatedly for me to move, then looked me in the eye and called me a "f**king bitch", before driving off. I was in the passenger seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 020

You deserved it 3 212

Today, I was in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower. I took all of my clothes off, and stepped into the shower facing the knobs. When I turned around, I saw somebody standing in there with me. Apparently, my little brother and his friend were playing hide and seek, and I found his friend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 5 966

Today, I was playing Ultimate Frisbee and trying to make new friends since I'm new at my college. I was running after an overthrown frisbee for a touchdown. Everyone cheered me on to keep going. I ran full speed into a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 889

You deserved it 9 078

Today, my favourite vibrator got a good thrashing. Unfortunately, it was by my cat, who tore it to shreds. I guess she disapproves of my choice of leisure activities. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 478

You deserved it 753