The Top

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Mr Bean

By Anonymous - 09/04/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a work lunch, and the waiter brought me a soda I hadn’t ordered. I thought it was a free mistake, so I took a sip. It was actually my boss’s drink. As soon as I noticed, I tried to give it back, but he just stared at me and said, "It’s fine. I’ve already seen you drink it now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 478

Too close to him

By Jack - 18/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I was walking my dog in my suburban neighborhood when all of a sudden we practically jumped out of our skin (and fur) when we heard what I assumed were fireworks. Nope, someone down the street was testing their new AR-15 in their backyard. All perfectly legal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 453

You deserved it 159

Nice

By sadgirl - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Conway

Today, my grandpa pointed me out to one of his friends, saying, "Yeah, she's the ugly one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 698

You deserved it 4 441

Snitch

By Elissa - 23/04/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, my husband sent me some flowers while he's away from town on a business trip. The flowers were beautiful enough that I almost forgot the screenshot his best friend had sent me, where my husband bragged that he'd "probably be drowning in dick when she gets the flowers." FML

I agree, your life sucks 370

You deserved it 107

So much winning, Sir!

By FUCK TRUMP - 11/05/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, thanks to that goddamn Trump, my business is going under. All the guys I count on to do jobs have dipped, and hiring new ones will force me to hike my prices through the roof. I'm going to have to cancel three contracts and might get sued. FML

I agree, your life sucks 427

You deserved it 616

Caught in 4K

By Gwen - 24/05/2025 04:00 - Russia - Kolomna

Today, it was just epic. You know what's the last thing you want to hear from your naked husband, whom you are passionately playing with on a kitchen table? In a REALLY frivolous position too? "Uh… Hey kids!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 335

Card sharp

By Anonymous - 25/05/2025 21:00

Today, I attended my first game night with my girlfriend’s family. They play for cash and deal cards like trained magicians. By the end I was up by £400 and they were all mad at me. I seriously think they were so busy cheating each other that I won by default. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 80

Average Metallica fan

By UglyMetalGirl - 08/06/2025 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, the guy I like posted a story that said, “Why can’t a girl who’s into metal be into me?” Deciding to shoot my shot, I replied, “I’m a girl who’s into metal, wassup cutie?” He deleted it and posted a new one: “Why can’t an ATTRACTIVE girl who’s into metal be into me?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 679

You deserved it 122

What happened next?

By Broke boy - 26/06/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I was in a public toilet stall and realized too late that there was no toilet paper left on the roll. I had to awkwardly shuffle around in a panic, knocking on the stall walls to ask for help. The guy in the next stall over gruffly said, “Dude, be a man, just use a sock or something.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 399

You deserved it 123

Night predator

By Gwen - 28/06/2025 16:00 - Russia - Rostov-on-Don

Today, I'm a 40+, aging, ugly woman with bad skin, and gaining weight. In the middle of the night, the cat landed on my face, clawing it so badly that it left actual scars. Just purrrfect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 145

Coulrophobia

By Anonymous - 02/07/2025 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, after I recently took our kids to a fair and they both turned out to be scared of clowns, and because the fair was my idea, my wife has told me there will be no sex at all until the kids stop having clown-themed nightmares every night. Two weeks so far and god only knows how long still to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 113

Trapped

By Anonymous - 05/07/2025 08:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since my girl told me she's pregnant and I fled town in a panic. I realized how badly I fucked up and called her, begging to come back. When I showed up at her house, her brothers kicked my ass and threw me in the street, promising to wring me dry for child support. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 1 123

Ragebait backfire

By Melybae - 12/07/2025 14:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I’ve been systematically sharing stories and posts about how love sucks and man-bashing memes so that my crush would regret his decision about rejecting me and choosing another girl over me. He DM’ed me : “Getting tired of your shit Melissa, I’m blocking you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 74

You deserved it 1 315

How does this keep happening?

By Anonymous - 25/07/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, while on a video call, I went on a long rant about how I hate mandatory morning meetings and how pointless they are. I thought I was muted. I wasn’t. My boss replied with, “Noted. You can take the rest of the day off. Indefinitely.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 788

With friends like these…

By Anonymous - 13/08/2025 11:00 - United States

Today, I found out my “friend” runs several incredibly racist and homophobic Christian nationalist social media blogs. That’s really funny considering that I, a black woman, have been in a relationship with her AND her husband for nearly five years now and wasn’t told any of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502

You deserved it 189

The shape of you

By KLO65 - 17/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 151

You deserved it 442

Whisky dick

By Anonymous - 18/08/2025 21:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 157

Classic been there, done that

By Anonymous - 20/08/2025 14:00 - Canada - Regina

Today, in a state of severe depression and fearing I might do the worst, I called my local suicide helpline. I was put on hold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 91

Nice to know

By rejectedson - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my father got married. He left me a voicemail to tell me all about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 006

You deserved it 2 330

Too soon?

By jobless - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow! Love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 504

You deserved it 58 537

Classism

By TrailerTrash - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I had artfully managed to avoid anyone knowing that I was moving into a trailer park. I showed up at the trailer where all my friends, co-workers, and exes were waiting. My parents knew I was feeling down and wanted to throw me a surprise "moving in" party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 888

You deserved it 4 780

The itch from hell

By sprainedankle - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia - Riyadh

Today, I got a mosquito bite inside my cast. I slipped a ruler into it and started scratching to relieve the itch. Part of the ruler ended up snapping off inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 904

You deserved it 15 849

Succession

By Anonymous - 02/11/2025 15:00

Today, I was uninvited to a family reunion because I’m the result of my mom’s affair while she was married to her husband, who raised me as a dad for 22 years before we found out. According to my aunts, uncles, and cousins who I grew up with, it means I’m not really family anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 80

Oh, the humanity

By Anonymous - 11/11/2025 09:00

Today, I think there might be something wrong with my family's cell phone carrier or cell phones. They use Verizon, I use T-Mobile. They use iPhones, I use a Google Pixel 8a. On at least two separate occasions, my dad hasn't been able to get my text messages. I can't afford to switch carriers or get a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277

You deserved it 95

Long time coming, probably

By Anonymous - 13/11/2025 03:00

Today, to punish my wife for disrespecting me in front of my friends, I told her I wasn't going to help with the baby tonight. When I woke up, she and my baby were gone with nothing more than a text saying she was speaking to a divorce lawyer. Over one night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 148

You deserved it 1 562

Delicate cycle

By Fergie03 - 14/11/2025 22:00

Today, I did laundry for the first time in weeks. Feeling productive, I dumped everything in, including what I thought was my pile of towels. Turns out, I washed (and shrunk) my roommate’s $200 wool sweater. She found out when I proudly showed her how “clean” everything looked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 437

Hi Chris!

By Anonymous - 18/11/2025 12:00

Today, my coworkers surprised me with a birthday cake. It was really sweet, until I realized it was for another “Chris” who works in accounting. They only noticed after I blew out the candles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 74

Acceptance

By I hate myself - 22/11/2025 00:00

Today, my mom sternly told me that she would no longer make doctor's appointments for me, since I need to do them myself. I've been staring at the phone for thirty minutes, crying from anxiety. I'm 27 and the most pathetic man alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245

You deserved it 524

First impressions

By Ethan - 04/12/2025 12:00

Today, my boss introduced a new hire and said, “You two will get along great.” I tried to make small talk, tripped over the recycling bin, and spilled paper everywhere. The new hire said, “So… is this, like, normal around here?” Unfortunately, yes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 255

Oh no…

By x.x - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Tampa

Today, I was taking a shower when the soap began to burn my eyes worse than they've ever burned before. I quickly grabbed whatever cloth I could find to rub my eyes with. My dad's old underwear was the last thing I would expect to find lying near the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 695

You deserved it 5 883

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my new wife kept taunting and goading my ex into a fight. Now, instead of an amicable co-parenting situation, I have multiple court dates and a child support order. My wife won’t apologize and my ex doesn’t want her around the kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 584

Today, I was walking on the beach when I saw my crush walking towards me. I was thinking about what I was going to do while playing with my top that ties in the front. I decided that I was just going to smile. When we got closer to each other, I smiled and waved, and as I put my hand up it untied my top. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 570

You deserved it 17 566

Today, my daughter and I went to the carnival and had our faces painted. When we returned home hours later, I realized I have a deep sunburn all around my face, except for the skin under the paint in the shape of a gecko. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 600

You deserved it 10 554

Today, my boyfriend's bitch of a mother had surgery and now I'm expected to be her at-home nurse. I haven't been able to sit down for more than 5 minutes thanks to her and I've barely slept. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 320

You deserved it 2 988

Today, my mother walked in on me rubbing $400 in $20 bills all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 308

You deserved it 64 772

Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 680

You deserved it 4 665