The Top

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Pipe down

By Anonymous - 15/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my husband is threatening divorce because I loudly objected at his daughter's wedding and made a scene. His daughter is 19 and got married to a 40-year-old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 478

Cuckoo

By Fuck them both - 26/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my mom gave me thirty days notice to find an apartment and move out. Why? She's dating my former best friend and wants to move him in, but he won't do it until I'm gone because it would be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 71

Torture

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore - Singapore

Today, at my job at the mall, our music malfunctioned and now will only play the same three songs over and over again. Our manager won't let us turn it off because "the customers won't notice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 749

You deserved it 1 782

Careful

By wowawesome - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I got a second piercing in my ear. I needed help cleaning the back, so I asked my dad for help. I told him to careful, but right when I did, he tore the earring out with the cotton swab. Thanks, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 454

Extreme disorderly conduct

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to be bailed out of the local police station while hungover. I don’t remember any of it but I got so drunk yesterday I apparently went and took a shit on my cheating ex wife’s grave in front of witnesses, and was arrested while trying to stumble my way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 448

ChatGPT slop disinformation

By h8chatgpt - 01/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, a customer threw a tantrum and we had to get law enforcement involved, all because Chat GPT told them that they could qualify for “free government grants for seniors aged 55+.” I work at Wells Fargo and we don’t have such a program, but according to the customer, “Chat GPT said so.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 80

I never asked!

By No interest in one - 08/06/2026 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, while on vacation, I met up with a friend I have been playing with online for years in person. She took me to her place and introduced me to her family. Her mom gave me a judging look, and her first and only words to me were, "You ain't getting your green card from her!" as she condescendingly walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 73

DILF

By Anonymous - 12/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Augusta

Today, an internet repair tech thought my dad was my husband, and seemed skeptical when I corrected him. People usually think I'm way younger than my actual age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 81

Think globally

By Bloody tears - 27/05/2026 00:00 - Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, my husband got so worked up in an argument that his blood pressure spiked and he burst a vein in his eyeball. He was arguing with a guy on the internet, trying to convince him that Donald Trump is evil. We're not even American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 333

You deserved it 184

What are your unpopular opinions?

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, during a work diversity seminar, everyone was asked to share “one unpopular opinion.” Thinking it would be funny, I admitted I actually enjoy replying-all to unnecessary company emails because I like the chaos. Nobody laughed. HR asked to “have a quick chat” afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 475

Computer says no

By Anonymous - 03/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I told everyone at work I could fix the office printer because “I work with computers.” After pressing random buttons for ten minutes, I somehow changed the language to Korean and printed 87 blank pages. The IT guy arrived, looked at me, sighed, and fixed it in 30 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 647

No good deed and all that

By Jimmy - 14/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I found a wallet on the sidewalk and spent an hour tracking down the owner. When I finally returned it, he opened it, counted the cash in front of me, and asked if I was sure there hadn't been more money in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 61

Accidental exposure

By trauma - 16/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my three year-old son excitedly went to the window to watch the construction site next door. He does this all the time and it's adorable… at least, it was until a man got run over by a bulldozer with him watching. He screamed for hours and now cries if I don't keep the curtains closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 508

You deserved it 69

Bad grandma

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I'm grounded for literally the whole summer because my parents found out that I was still seeing my grandma behind their backs, even though they banned her from ever seeing us again after she spanked my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 126

Obsessed

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 15:00 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my ex, whom I dumped in 2024 because she stopped caring about me or what I did, is stalking online someone I have just started dating. She went to her workplace, then called me to tell me I'm hers and she will never let "the other woman" take me from her. Not sure if I like the indifferent one or the jealous psycho less. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 41

Stained for life

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 03:00 - China

Today, someone left a lipstick in a public laundry machine of our student dormitory. Then, an hour ago, when I put my laundry in it (including my underwear), I didn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 72

Nervous wreck

By Swivel - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Singapore

Today, after a spate of bad ones, I was in another job interview trying my hardest to give a good impression. After answering a few questions, I realized to my horror that while I was talking I was swiveling my chair from left to right like a nervous child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 416

You deserved it 4 812

Just shut up already!

By Anonymous - 18/05/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my sister went from choosing not to have kids because they just aren’t for her to being obnoxiously childfree. We can’t have a single conversation without her ranting about how much she hates children, and parents are pathetic losers. I have three kids and don’t want her around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 92

Passive agressive

By pointlessperson - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 171

You deserved it 3 085

Birthday girl

By Lisa - 27/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Hollywood

Today, a client refused to pay for the nails I spent nearly three hours doing, because apparently it's her birthday and "you don't pay for birthday nails." She refused to pay, and we locked her inside the salon. She threw a bitch fit and rolled on the ground like a worm, kicking and screaming until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589

You deserved it 72

Extra NSFW

By WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK - 31/05/2026 03:00 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend told me how she got the scars on her legs. I'd assumed they were self-harm scars. Nope, apparently getting sliced up turns her on, and if I want a good sex life, I'd better get used to cutting her thighs with a razor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 101

Busted

By Anonymous - 01/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend text me and told me to do something sexy because she was going to FaceTime me. I eagerly dropped my pants and started stroking it to get ready for her. As soon as I opened her call, she was standing with my wife. I literally got caught with my dick in my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 573

How could you?

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my wife called me at work, screaming in rage that she hated me, that I was a useless lump, that she wishes we'd never met. Did I have an affair or burn the house down? Nope. I set up the kids' backpacks for school today and forgot a library book that was due today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 89

Good fences make good neighbors?

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbour replaced his chain link fence with a nice wood fence. It’s exactly on the property line and it's his fence, not mine, but the property line is only two feet away from my kitchen window, which is now in complete darkness, no light at all, so I need lights on even during the day FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 107

Kinda gross

By Gross - 18/05/2026 20:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my dentist asked me if I floss regularly. Wanting to avoid judgment, I lied and said yes. He nodded, started cleaning my teeth, then pulled out an entire popcorn kernel that had apparently been living in my gums long enough to pay rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 440

Thrown for a loop

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 09:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, a cashier at a store was so gorgeous that when she asked if I needed a bag, I grabbed everything and simply said, "Thanks, you too." I dropped something on the way out of the store and I haven't gone back. I've seen her a few times around town and she giggles at me when I pass by. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 323

Whiner

By The life of the party has left the building - 24/05/2026 03:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, some whiny new employee had management get me sanctioned, and disposed of my anatomy skeleton. I brought him for Halloween, and he's been literally hanging there since 2023. We, including the even-higher-ups, thought it would be funny to dress him every month, such as Cupid in February or Santa in December. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396

You deserved it 95

What goes around…

By Ironyman - 25/05/2026 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I took the piss out of my younger brother for spending money on “fake internet clothes” in video games. Last week I spent 3 hours researching the perfect ergonomic office chair and paid extra for “limited edition fabric.” I'm apparently one financial decision away from becoming the exact nerd I used to bully. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 468

Foul language

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my whole family ganged up on me because I called my 9-year-old niece a cunt. The little brat purposely ruined my son's final science project for school and caused him to get a zero, even though we wrote a note to the teacher explaining what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 115

Imposter syndrome

By Useless - 05/06/2026 20:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I worked hard and brought few points to an important meeting at work. All of them were dismissed almost immediately. Now I feel an impostor fraud who gets paid for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 80

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The Top

Today, I woke up to find out that the two front tires on our van were flat. Now we won't have a vehicle all week since the tire shop is booked solid. We just went through this with the rear tires two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 141

You deserved it 752

Today, my sick semi-delusional boyfriend, whom I've been taking care of for days, accused me of trying to poison him so that I could play World of Warcraft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 841

You deserved it 1 912

Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 247

You deserved it 1 707

Today, I woke up next to my boyfriend. He gazed at me, stroked my cheek, and said, "Christ, you really need something for this acne." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 244

You deserved it 2 540

Today, my girlfriend sent me a text message confessing that she's been cheating on me. Apparently she regretted telling me the truth, because when I confronted her face-to-face, she claimed her roommate had sent it as a prank. She doesn't have a roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 816

You deserved it 56

Today, I went to my local pharmacy. Walking in, the security guard rudely asked me what I was going to buy. I brushed him off and walked in. I was paying and told the cashier what happened. She said, "Sorry, we get a lot of hobos, they tend to steal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 907

You deserved it 5 155