The Top

Well, I am OP, and I am indeed 23...I met my husband when I was 18....and his ex was 17. She "lied" to him about her age. I am amazed I have bought it for so long. Yup, he is certainly a soon-to-be ex. Right after he loses his jewels. (kidding...maybe, lol) My soon-to-be-ex just turned 36.

By Zyopy - 18/12/2015 08:33 - Australia - Hampton

Today, I didn't secure my friend's wheelchair well enough to my car roof before giving him a ride. It flew off mid-drive and we still haven't found it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 013

You deserved it 7 203

Get back here

By justhereforlaughs - 12/09/2011 22:32 - United States

Today, while at the beach, my little brother's hat blew off. I chased after it before I completely lost sight and realized I was no match for the wind. I get back and he's wearing the hat. I chased a fucking trash bag for a mile thinking it was his hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 093

You deserved it 11 109

By Talkingbeforethinking - 16/03/2019 18:00

Today in class I accidentally called my teacher very old and almost dead. As we were discussing a book I said that the book character is very old and close to death since it fitted to the context. Turns out this character is one year younger than my teacher and she wasn't amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 738

You deserved it 637

By Anonymous - 29/04/2019 18:00

Today, I still can't get my ex out of my house. It's been a year and he, "refuses to give up on something special." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 230

You deserved it 599

By Dandy - 23/12/2016 17:25

Today, after having given up video games for two weeks to focus on school, I finished my last exam of the semester and finally became free. I got home to find that Steam is down worldwide. I just received an email saying every game on my wish list is on sale, but I can't log in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 297

You deserved it 821

By lsababy - 11/06/2013 18:46 - United States - Muskegon

Today, my boyfriend was extremely nervous to meet my parents but I made him do it anyway. One of the first things out of his mouth was, "I'm glad you had sex." When they gave him a look of shock, he added, "You know, when you made your daughter! She's awesome!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 221

You deserved it 10 930

lsababy tells us more.

lsababy 10

Wednesday 12 June 2013 7:32

I agree, I probably I deserved it for making him go, but we've been dating for a year and a half and I figured it was way passed time. Haha! It was extremely awkward and my boyfriend I were both beet red in the face, but luckily my parents are awesome and know he was super nervous, so they just kinda changed the subject and pretended that was never said. My brother high fived him. And yes.. more like F his life.

By Ugh - 13/12/2016 14:39

Today, at my work in a self-service chinese restaurant, a lady came up to me, pointed to the plate she loaded with honey king prawns, and yelled at me because she was allergic to seafood. She demanded a refund and another plate. Everything is clearly labeled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 220

You deserved it 534

Back in fashion (Oppenheimer dolls not so much)

By JGarz - 10/10/2015 07:21 - United States - Tucson

Today, I walked in on my teenage son passionately making out with one of his sister's Barbie dolls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 330

You deserved it 2 737

Farmville

By unwilling redneck - 24/05/2013 22:48 - United States

Today, my uncle drove to my house in his tractor, beer in one hand, and a radio strapped to the dash blasting country music at unimaginable volume. Neither of us live on a farm. Half the neighborhood stood angrily glaring at us until we went inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 538

You deserved it 4 605

By Anonymous - 24/05/2017 22:00

Today, my cousin and I spent 9 hours on two separate fishing boats. This is what my cousin's boat returned with. We didn't even get a freaking nibble. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 044

You deserved it 452

Family affair

By Anonymous - 12/11/2009 06:27 - United States

Today, I found out that my mother cheated on my father. It turns out she had a drunken one night stand with the manager of the restaurant that my parents own, and where I work. The same manager I have been secretly sleeping with for over six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 922

You deserved it 10 509

By seriouslywtf - 28/04/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

I agree, your life sucks 117 455

You deserved it 9 303

Smooth operator

By Anonymous - 23/06/2019 16:18

Today, my date took nearly 10 minutes to get an erection, had to be shown where the entrance to my vagina was, since he kept missing it and poking me in the thigh, he orgasmed after only 3 thrusts, fell asleep straight away, then an hour later had the nerve to ask if I’d had fun too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 450

You deserved it 629

By Jelly_Hell - 03/11/2016 20:24

Today, I almost got hit by a car because the kid in the back who was wearing headphones was paying more attention to the road than the driver. He only just stopped her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 491

You deserved it 790

Cheeky git

By fmldailyyy - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Ireland

Today, my husband told me he had been cheating on me for the past 8 months. Twenty minutes later, he asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 885

You deserved it 3 168

By Jade - 15/10/2016 11:22 - United Kingdom - Wembley

Today, after a week of rejoicing that my petty, passive-aggressive, bullying neighbours were moving away, I came home to find the "to let" board had been outside the wrong house the whole time. It's actually the people I really like who are moving away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 040

You deserved it 989

It wasn't me

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About two minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 794

You deserved it 20 109

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 698

You deserved it 2 481

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 20:00

Today, my friend was extremely constipated when he used my toilet. I'm now having to go buy a new toothbrush, because he used mine to dig out his shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 170

Catching up

By XRayXLopez1 - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, I met a friend I hadn't seen in forever. After talking for a while, he says, "I knew there was a reason I stopped talking to you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 074

You deserved it 1 644

Bad boys, bad boys

By anonymous - 23/06/2011 14:19 - United States

Today, I found out my dad thinks he's famous because he's been on 'Cops', twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 011

You deserved it 4 118

Prank you back

By Chris - 27/08/2019 22:00 - United Kingdom - Swindon

Today, I thought it would be funny to take an airhorn to a golf course and blow it while people were teeing off. It was very funny, until I blew the horn during some guy's backswing and his ball was shanked in my direction and hit me in the head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 382

You deserved it 6 103

Lazy boi

By Needlongerarms - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Israel - Tel Aviv

Today, my laziness got so bad, I downloaded an app and spent 10 minutes configuring it to work with my TV and cable box, just so I wouldn't have to get up and grab the remote. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 097

You deserved it 5 607

FML on Facebook

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The Top

Today, I put aside my weekend plans to help my aunt with the extermination guy spraying her new house down to prevent cockroaches. After he left, my aunt asked me to go in and turn off the lights because the fumes were very deadly. If I chose not to, she would tell my mom I did nothing all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 979

You deserved it 2 067

Today, I was watching The Walking Dead while in bed, when I heard a noise in the kitchen. I told myself I was just imagining things. Several hours later, as I was getting ready for sleep, I found out I'd actually been robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 180

You deserved it 6 903

Today, I had to take my parents to the hospital after a failed attempt at a Kamasutra position. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 62

Today, I found out my girlfriend talks to around 18 other men for fun. She says she loves me more, but I told her to prove it, so I took her phone and deleted the social media accounts that she made just for these men. Now I'm a "toxic controlling monster" because I don't let her chat with random men. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 712

You deserved it 827

Today, my grandfather called me for the first time since lockdown. Just like the last 3 times we spoke, he tried to pressure me into learning to drive, despite my making it clear that it absolutely terrifies me. He won't stop asking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 772

Today, I'm supposed to be starting on the first part of a 9 hour road trip. My only coworker called in sick, so instead I had to go into work. One hour there, one hour back, and a 9-to-5 day. This would have been my first holiday in 7 years. After getting to work, I realised I'd forgotten my work keys in my other clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 521

You deserved it 150