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By gracehi - 10/09/2015 17:45 - United States - San Diego

Today, after studying for hours a day for the past month, sacrificing weekends and time with my husband, I finally took the exam required for a possible promotion at work. Out of over a hundred questions, I only knew the answer to 3 of them for sure. Boy, am I glad I studied so hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 683

You deserved it 4 587

gracehi tells us more.

gracehi 31

Friday 11 September 2015 5:01

YES? I was waiting for someone to say that! I'm guessing you and I are in the same boat. But who knows? Maybe we'll get lucky and we'll both be second classes in a few months.

By BeerSlut - 02/09/2015 21:37 - Portugal - Santa Marta De Penagui?o

Today, my mother called me a slut and unladylike because I prefer beer instead of wine. Apparently, beer's only for "unladylike sluts". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 180

You deserved it 2 175

Family secret

By Anonymous - 19/06/2022 22:00

Today, after my grandad died suddenly last week, we were cleaning out his house and found a full on sex dungeon, with pictures of him and nana going back 50 years. My siblings are all chicken shits, so I have to deal with that room by myself. Rubber gloves and a therapist required please. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 523

You deserved it 817

By Arrkyna - 23/08/2015 17:42

Today, I decided to upgrade to Windows 10. I wanted to keep my old files on the current hard drive, I clicked on the keep old files option. Thanks to Windows, I lost everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 807

You deserved it 5 712

By sstahpp - 20/08/2015 21:24 - South Africa - Pretoria

Today, while I was taking a long relaxing shower, the shower head decided to fly off and hit me in the face. The dentist couldn't stop laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 562

You deserved it 5 029

By polkadotpinup - 16/09/2016 17:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I got a call from my employers wanting to ask why I had a no call, no show for today. My supervisor reported me for not showing up to work. It's my day off, and also my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 836

You deserved it 871

By AlwaysTired - 14/09/2016 14:57 - United States

Today, marks the third time this month my parents came to visit. I moved 5 hours away to get away from them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 179

You deserved it 1 541

Don't feed the trolls

By pathetic - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - Poland - Warsaw

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote, "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 304

You deserved it 57 290

First date from hell

By lizzardbreath - 31/03/2009 10:44 - United States

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I don't know very well. He told me to dress in formal attire, so I assumed he was taking me to a nice dinner. He took me to his brother's wedding, and introduced me as "The One" to his entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 115 949

You deserved it 7 960

By StupidJob - 01/09/2016 23:23 - United States - Batavia

Today I was home sick from work because my doctor gave me a new pill that made me throw up violently. My boss called. I thought she was checking on me. She fired me instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 937

You deserved it 866

By HellCat44 - 26/08/2016 09:59 - United Kingdom - Dartford

Today, my dad is obsessed with making sure that I am not in any way 'bare' in front of the windows of our house. Which is surrounded by tall trees, five metres worth of tall trees. I'm not sure whether to be creeped out that someone might see me or that my dad is unhealthily obsessed about this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 490

You deserved it 1 172

HellCat44 tells us more.

HellCat44 17

Friday 26 August 2016 18:44

OP, here. Once, I got out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel. It was hot so I cracked a window to let in fresh air. Somehow that was indecent and I got yelled at, and he's been on my case ever since.

No thanks

By MrLonelyHertz - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Kingman

Today, I sat down for class. The second I sat down, the guy next to me stood up and moved all the way to the other side of the class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 1 407

Out and about

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 14:00

Today, my grandfather found my diary laying in the living room, and for some reason thought it was an interesting reading material. Oh well, he found out that I'm a lesbian, then panicked and basically outed me to my entire family. I really hope they have reservations in Hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 715

By darianvilla - 22/07/2016 23:35 - United States - College Park

Today, I was happy because my co-worker was almost about to get fired due to his lazy habits. It was all going so well. Then I accidentally put my biggest sale yet under his name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 981

You deserved it 16 877

By Anonymous - 18/07/2016 11:51 - Belgium

Today, my boss refused my resignation and acted like nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 138

You deserved it 1 174

By Anonymous - 17/05/2011 10:06 - Finland

Today, I got a boner in the MRI machine while my pelvic bone was being scanned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 937

You deserved it 8 273

By Lindsey Taul - 23/12/2017 05:00 - United States - Granite City

Today, while driving home from work, I heard a loud crash immediately followed by the sound of wind and shifting glass over my head. My sunroof exploded for no perceptible reason 5 days before Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 239

You deserved it 307

By C8H18 - 29/06/2016 03:16 - United States

Today, my supervisor gave me a grand introduction as I met the CEO for the first time. He introduced me as, "Employee number zero." FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 641

You deserved it 818

C8H18 tells us more.

C8H18 33

Wednesday 29 June 2016 17:51

OP here. I don't work in programming. I teach weapons safety courses and coach people while shooting on the range. The only thing that came to mind when my supervisor said this was the center ring on the targets. Maybe I am wrong, but I took this as I should be shot at.

By Anonymous - 04/02/2013 05:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 800

You deserved it 6 531

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 921

You deserved it 13 071

Nice way to put it

By -_- - 18/02/2012 00:13 - United Kingdom

Today, I went to an extended family reunion. I started chatting to my great grandpa, and he asked me what I do for a living. Before I could tell him I breed animals, my visibly drunk dad interrupted and slurred, "Oh, she jacks things off. Horses, pigs, just about anything, really." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 015

You deserved it 4 101

By Jim - 12/04/2018 01:30

Today, I dropped my car off at the dealership for a bumper replacement due to a hit and run in a parking lot. After being told it was ready, their shuttle picked me up, and backed up into my just-replaced bumper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 573

You deserved it 236

You ******* idiot

By Anonymous - 28/04/2018 01:30

Today, I spent 900 dollars on a ticket for my boyfriend to visit me and he missed the flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 310

You deserved it 580

By TheHeirofTime - 31/05/2016 20:45 - United States - Marlborough

Today, I was messaging a nice guy. He sent a picture of himself and asked for one back. Shortly after my picture sent, he blocked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 164

You deserved it 1 368

TheHeirofTime tells us more.

TheHeirofTime 19

Wednesday 1 June 2016 18:26

....What?

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 029

You deserved it 15 207

By Anonymous - 07/03/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's mom for the first time. She pulls out a freezer bag full of condoms and says "I have some cooler ones upstairs, if you want his penis to glow in the dark." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 926

You deserved it 4 614

By Help - 16/06/2018 20:30

Today, it's the 11th day of my migraine. I've drunk enough water to piss crystal clear, eaten every type of food there is, slept for days, and tried every remedy in my medicine cabinet. Nothing made a dent in the splitting pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 940

You deserved it 270

My skin hates me

By allergyssuck - 05/07/2018 20:30

Today, I got a soap that my doctor recommended, because I'm allergic to the vast majority of soaps. After driving 45 miles to the only store that sells it, and paying $12 for a bottle, I found out I'm allergic to it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 799

You deserved it 301

By SuperWhoMarvLock - 06/05/2016 01:35 - United States - Hibbing

Today, my class went for a hike through the woods near our school to destress during finals. While walking downhill towards the edge of the lake, I tripped and tumbled down the hill, and ended up diving head first into the lake. I had to hike back to the school soaking wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 702

You deserved it 1 277

SuperWhoMarvLock tells us more.

SuperWhoMarvLock 22

Wednesday 11 May 2016 7:08

Hey, OP here! I'm a girl and a senior in high school. My physics class of 10 had planned a hike to enjoy the warm weather when this happened. Considering how hot it was, I wasn't as bothered as I could've been. The ironic part was how I had stated earlier "If anyone's going to trip and fall off the trail, it's going to be me" as I know myself to be clumsy. Boy, was I right. Everyone did get in a few good laughs, including myself and my teacher. He didn't even look surprised haha. It was definitely uncomfortable hiking back with my soaked jeans and long-sleeved shirt, but I was over it almost instantly and can laugh about it now. Graduation is in a couple of weeks, and I'm glad I'm able to take such hilarious memories with me! Thanks for all the nice and funny comments. :)

By send the army please - 02/05/2016 06:51 - United States - Elizabeth

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, because her military father, who doesn't like me, continuously threatened my safety for dating her. Now he's threatening to kill me for dumping her. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 372

You deserved it 1 559